“The Returned” recap (1.7): Zombie Eczema


This episode starts one year earlier and we learn why Thomas decided to wire the house with hidden cameras. After a shopping trip with Chloe he returns to find Adele with slit wrists on the bathroom floor. Still not the best reason to secretly surveil your loved ones without their knowledge, but we all deal in different ways.


Back in the present, Toni and Serge have been walking for hours through the woods to escape the police. Toni still won’t let go of the idea that his Mother may have returned and feeds off Serge’s lies. They come across the remains of a fire pit filled with animal carcasses covered in flies. Looks like the crew Lena happened upon were having a roadkill barbecue meet up.


Lena sits in the shower like a scene from The Crying Game, trying to wash away her bad decisions until Jerome arrives. Meanwhile, Pierre dreams of Victor bringing him to the lake to share its beauty until he is awakened by Claire. He takes her to the basement to show her a stockpile of food and weapons that would make any backwoods militia giddy with joy. Next on the tour is a full medical wing where Pierre starts spouting off about how the undead are a sign of the end of the world. Claire is definitely regretting following him into a subterranean room where no one can hear them.


Its morning at Laure’s place and the sight of her in her bra changes Julie’s mind about her. I definitely can’t fault her for that flip flop. They make out in bed and Laure reassuringly starts to kiss her abdomen, showing Julie she is cool with scars. Just then Victor, who always appears out of nowhere, shows up at the end of the bed. Laure tells him to scram but it is too late to get their groove back. He is such a little mood killer. When Laure tells Julie that she thinks he could be dangerous, Julie shares her hopes that she is “one of them.” Now downstairs, Victor is back at the window staring at Chloe and Adele. He is like a creepy version of that little dog from Frasier.


Simon wakes up from his weird sex with Lucy. She insists he has no place in Adele and his daughter’s life anymore and she has the answer to where he does belong. Back at the shelter, Camille dines with Ms Costa and proceeds to call her out on her multiple death stories she has been passing off to the others. Ms Costa thinks Camille is the last person who should be judging her for lying. She tells her to take a look in the storage house where the victims of her dishonesty are hanging from the ends of rope. Damn, Ms Costa is cold as ice. I would not mess with her.


Julie gives Laure a kiss as she heads out for work. She tells Julie to keep Victor inside, so of course she turns to find him gone and the back door wide open. He has made his way over to Adele’s and Julie reluctantly allows him to play with Chloe. They chit chat in the kitchen and Julie brings up that she knows Simon had given up on the whole being dead thing. Speaking of, Simon shows up at the church and is disappointed when the pastor isn’t surprised. Apparently he was expecting “someone like him” to pop in and has something to show him. I hope it’s a fun game like Cards Against Humanity. I always bust that out when I have guests.


Back at the shelter, Sandrine makes it known she is not a fan of Camille. She accuses her of influencing the recent suicides as Camille cries in Claire’s arms. I say give the kid a break. She was just trying to help and it is hard to get used to being undead. Walk a mile in another woman’s shoes, Sandrine.

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