“Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide…” Oh, sorry, was I singing out loud? I’ve had “Bohemian Rhapsody” stuck in my head for three days now thanks to what transpired last Sunday night. Like, at first I couldn’t believe it was real. This had to be some sort of grand illusion or shape shifter or sex robot. But, no, it was real. It happened. It was a goddamn Harlequin romance cover sprung to full-blown life.
Great, now I have “Afternoon Delight” in my head instead.
Right, so I guess I should start at the beginning. Bo’s blood has spoke, blah blah blah. Bo is Dark and so on and so forth. Is anyone else oddly attracted to Una Tilda Swinton Mens? I think it’s her alternative lifestyles haircut. Or the neckerchief. I’m a sucker for a good neckerchief. Just me? OK, moving on.
Bo is like “Bullshit!” which is a really fun card game, but a considerably less fun experience when it’s happening to you in real life. Still Una Swinton says their creepy gargoyle read her blood and in their book everything’s groovy between them now. So Bo is welcome to peace out.
But being aligned means Bo will have to change all of her business cards from “The Unaligned Succubus” to “The Dark Knight.” In other words, it’d be a huge freaking hassle. But Una Swinton tells her to take it up with the leader of the Dark. Bo decides to vaccu-suck the room, because apparently I wasn’t the only one with a thing for monotoned androgynous hotties on a power trip.
But it turns into an unwilling game of Suck and Blow for Bo as they boomerang back their own chi and take a little extra from her for good measure. Bo staggers off, but no worries there is always plenty to eat. She grabs a quick threesome in the Morrigan’s waiting room while Kenzi takes a number. They’re all “69,” because of course they are all “69.” You’ve gotta admit, at least the Dark know how to have some fun.
With her double Ds recharged (batteries, not what you were thinking–pervert), we survey her current predicament. Her blood says she’s Dark. Her ex-boyfriend is off looking for her ex-girlfriend. Her BFFs former mascara buddy sold her out. I think the “It’s Complicated” Facebook status was created just for Bo. Her number gets called and Bo storms in to confront Vex. But, surprise, it’s Evony and her bob.
Ding, dong, this witch isn’t dead. Though, once again, I’m not feeling that wig. Did someone in the Lost Girl costume department accidentally buy a whole shipping container full of wigs last summer? And are we now being subjected to them to make up for that error?
Trick is back at the Dal–which is in and of itself interesting since where the heck was he all last episode?–and looking for intel on The Wanderer. He’s also hiding some sort of magic bean. Don’t get it wet or feed it after midnight. Hold up, I think I’m confusing my cautionary tales. A shadowy figure says he’s been summoned before the Una Mens and tells him to get his life story straight. Um, doesn’t he basically write history? I mean, he’s the Blood King.
Bo and Kenzi have accepted Evony’s invitation to their first-ever Dark Fae party. They brought Tamsin, too, because Dark sticks with Dark – OK, that sounds bad. Scratch that. Pretend that never happened. Despite the bad swag and lack of UFC fighters, Kenzi tries to embrace her inner Darkness because these free drinks won’t drink themselves.