It’s Thanksgiving time here in the US of A, and while I prepare for my own family gathering, I found myself wondering what it would be like for some of our favorite television characters. Not every show is suited for Thanksgiving specials, but I thought it would be fun to imagine anyway.
DiLaurentis Thanksgiving, Pretty Little Liars
I don’t even remember the last time we saw any of the DiLaurentis clan interact with each other at all, so this would probably be the most awkward Thanksgiving dinner on record. Especially because, if we’re being technically, it should not only include Alison, Jason, Mr. and Mrs. DiLaurentis, but the Hastings clan should also be invited, since Melissa and Spencer are technically related to Jason (at least; Papa Hastings could have fathered Alison too for all we know). This would be EXTRA awkward, since Melissa and Jason totally made out that one time, landing them somewhere between Greg and Marcia Brady, and Jaime and Cersei Lannister.
Bus Thanksgiving, Agents of SH.I.E.L.D.
This would probably the cutest get-together in the history of get-togethers. Most likely initiated by Skye, because she is bound and determined to be a part of this group, sanctioned by Coulson because he has a heart of gold beneath the generally stolid exterior. FitzSimmons would be adorable, running the kitchen with scientific precision, though they would surely start a small fire or two with experimental cooking procedures. Ward would be brooding in the corner, resistant but ultimately grateful for Skye’s attempts to include him in conversation, and May would be carving (and eating) the turkey with the Swiss army knife she keeps on her person at all times.
A Thanksgiving with the ladies of Coven would certainly be one that would make you appreciate your own family. By the time dessert was served (by Madame LaLaurie and Spalding), Queenie would have voodoo-dolled at least one of her fellow witches, Zoe would burst into tears thrice, Madison would have cleared the table with an angry twitch of her eye, Nan would know everyone’s secrets, Fiona would be drunk as a skunk and high as a kite, and Cordelia would have relived the life and death of the poor turkey they served. And while all this was going on, Misty Day would have a glass of wine in her hand as she twirled around the record player, from which Stevie Nicks softly crooned.
The Loft Thanksgiving, Glee
A musical Thanksgiving! I wouldn’t only want to be a fly on the wall for this one, I would want to BE there. Last year, Glee did a Thanksgiving episode, and while it was nice to see our old friends, they weren’t all together. This year’s Thanksgiving, Santana would stay in New York to celebrate with Kurt and Rachel. It would be Rachel’s first Thanksgiving without Finn, so she would need as much support as possible, so Santana would obviously invite Quinn to visit from Yale, and of course Kurt would invite Blaine, who doesn’t go anywhere without Sam. Since Dani has no family, she would be there, too. (Brittany was invited, but she’s solving global warming for MIT and couldn’t get away.) Rachel would implement a rule that they had to have a full-blown musical performance between each course, followed by a riff-off after dessert. And who knows, maybe Quinn and Santana would even keep up their slapsgiving tradition!
The Biggest Thanksgiving, The Fosters
Thanksgiving at The Fosters’ residence wouldn’t be able to take place in the kitchen alone. Between the plethora of children they are legally responsible for, you know they would take in any stray they happened upon as the holiday got closer. Stef would keep an eye open at the shelters she scouted on duty, and Lena would keep an ear out at school for anyone without a place to go. They would be bustling from kitchen to living room to dining room to backyard, keeping mayhem and roughhousing in check to the best of their ability, while their mothers bickered while keeping the food coming at a steady pace. Their fathers would be put to work moving plates, and it wouldn’t be until all the children were fed and happy that the grown-ups would all settle in. Brandon would start playing the piano, Callie would join in on guitar, and it would look like the final scene of 101 Dalmations.
Storybrooke Thanksgiving, Once Upon A Time
Ah, Storybrooke. The place where everyone is related, but no one is the right age. Emma is the same age as her parents, Henry is the same age as his great-grandfather, Rumplestiltskin is significantly older than his father. It would be held at Granny’s Diner, even though it would get a little awkward as Ruby leaned in a little too close to put the sweet potatoes on the table over Belle’s shoulder. Plus, Neal and Hook would be on either side of Emma, trying their hardest to impress her with their turkey carving skills, but all she can do is stare across the table at Regina. The good news is, no one had to bother to find the matches, the candles went on all on their own.
Clone Club Thanksgiving, Orphan Black
Remember how exciting it was when Tatiana Maslany watched Tatiana Maslany pour Tatiana Maslany a glass of wine?
Now imagine a whole table full of Tatiana Maslanys. Alison would be hosting, of course, and the table would look like it came right out of a catalog. Cosima and Felix would be sneaking a joint in the upstairs bathroom, and Sarah would catch them but be more jealous than angry. She can’t partake because she’s leading a rousing game of hide and seek with Kira and Alison’s kids. Helena would show up, uninvited, because she’s the crazy aunt you just can’t get rid of. She’d eat a whole pie before the appetizers were even served, causing Alison to pop more anxiety pills than usual. Delphine and Mrs. S would be doing their best to help Alison, following her crazed orders while trying to stay out of her way. Once they all sat down, they would look around the table and Felix would muse, “Damn, we have one good-looking family.”
Which characters would you love to see sit down to Thanksgiving dinner?
Happy Thanksgiving, my fellow Americans! (And have a wonderful week, everyone else!)