Previously on Lost Girl: Jenny Schecter and Dyson got hit by the Hogwarts Express. Lauren got hit on by Betty McRae. Tiny Tam hit puberty. And that’s what you missed on Fae!
So Cleo and Dyson pass through the Fae version of Platform 9¾ to find themselves on the Death Train. Dyson doesn’t feel so hot afterward, but Cleo blows in his ear and it’s all better. Look, I know Jenny might well be the most hated character in lesbian universe, but I’d probably feel better if Mia Kirshner blew into my ear, too. Girl is aging nicely. And, as already noted, that skin is like buttah.
As an elemental, she can pass through dimensions without its killer side effects, but non-elementals like Wolf Boy can’t. Hence the sweet somethings. Also, put a sticky note on that ear thing because that much exposition always means Key Plot Point. Dyson starts yammering about how they need to find Bo, and the train shakes and shudders like an angry wildebeest. So he says it again to make sure there’s a cause and effect because, just like your neighbor’s golden retriever, he’s cute but not the brightest dog on the block. Yep, confirmed, correlation is causation in this instance.
Speaking of she whose name makes the demon gods shake, Bo is running through the forest in a flowing nightgown. I could take the high road and talk about how nice it is to finally see Anna Silk back on the show in full capacity. And how glowing she looks as a new mother. But I’m also the person who gives you Boobs O’Clock each week. So who the hell do we think we’re kidding? Fuck yeah, post-pregnancy boobs. There, I said it. Like I won’t mention the two enormous elephants in the room. Please.
Bo runs into some abandoned castle-chateau thingie (what do I know, I’m an American, any building older than last week is historic to me) in the woods. Just as she’s getting her bearings a family walks in. There’s mom, dad and bratty teenage daughter Megan Fox. Everyone is all open-mouthed until bratty Megan Fox (is that redundant?) clocks Bo on the noggin with a frying pan. Well, points for proactivity, I guess.
Also being proactive is the handyman in Lauren’s old apartment. He’s fixing the air conditioning for reasons unknown to us all. But seriously, who called in the faulty AC? It wasn’t Lauren because she’s at Ronny’s. It wasn’t the Ash because there is no Ash. And it wasn’t the torture-happy Una Mens because I don’t think they care about keeping a pleasant air temperature in their indentured servants’ housing units. Fine, whatever, maybe it’s routine maintenance. While he’s up there he finds one of the Wanted posters for Karen Beattie hidden inside that has been gumming up the works. OK, hold up. Suspension of disbelief over. There’s no way Lauren kept that information and even fewer ways she kept it and hid it inside her AC. That is unless she’s been marathoning Dexter and in a sleep-deprived haze thought she’d pay homage to him with that hiding place.
OK, fine, back to the plot. Some shapely but scraggly looking legs and bare feet pad into the apartment. We hear a familiar luscious languid voice talking to the maintenance man. Ding-dong, the Morrigan is alive. She’s alive and able to goo-ify her victims. Was that something we knew she could do? Because a) yuck and b) yuck some more.
What a sight for sore eye (see what I did there?) Emmanuelle Vaugier is. I sincerely hope the eye patch is a permanent addition, but I fear it won’t be. Just think of all the pirate/fae crossover fun we could have with her? Avast, matey, give me all your booty and also your treasure.