Reno, Nevada. 17-year-old Breeanna sits in her room, talking to a video camera. A lesbian herself, Bree has been raised by two lesbian moms. The invisible face behind the camera that she imagines she’s talking to? Her anonymous sperm donor that helped bring her into existence. While the whole finding-your-sperm-donor storyline can sometimes offensively be portrayed in a negative light, a tale of unsatisfied kids searching for a parental role that’s missing in their life, Breeanna seems remarkably…happy. “I’m so appreciative of my life and where it’s going. And…I want to find you.” Why wouldn’t you be happy, with moms who dressed in rad matching sweatshirts?
Bree soon lays out her plan: She’s found an amazing world of half-siblings through a website called Donor Sibling Registry. Two of them are named Hilit and Jonah and live in Atlanta, Georgia, and they have invited her to come and meet them in person. After doing some research, Bree has found that DNA parental matches work best with the DNA from a boy, because science. If Jonah seems okay with it, she’s going to ask him to swab his cheek while she’s down there. She Skypes with Jonah and Hilit before her trip, introducing them to her best friend Cathy, who is adorable, and asking if she needs to bring along any nice clothes, along with other nervous chit chat. Hilit says nah, just dress “how you do.” “How I do? Umm, OK. I have a lot of sweaters.” Bree, a lesbian through and through.
We then see Bree head off to work at a yogurt shop, where another friend, Patti, stops by. Patti is clearly amazing and my teenage self is already jealous of Bree’s friends. Bree lays out her plan to Patti and another co-worker, and they spend a couple hilarious moments debating how the DNA test works. The co-worker thinks you pee on it. Patti says you just stick it in his penis.
There’s still one obstacle before all this happens, though: running it by the moms. Bree’s parents are now separated, and she shares that she’s going to be meeting with them tomorrow at the “same damn time.” Patti and the co-worker react in the way that you know this doesn’t happen often. Bree asks if they think that both of them will be cool with it, to which Patti shakes her head, saying that she imagines at least one of them, probably Sherry, will get their feelings hurt. Bree clarifies that she doesn’t view the donor as a parent, “at all.” She views her family’s whole experience as “a Wizard of Oz type thing.” And that even if the guy waiting at the end of the yellow brick road turned out to be “just some dumbass,” it was still a journey that her moms had to take, and one that she wants to find out more about. She tells Patti that maybe she’ll be able to explain it better after she finally meets him. It’s at the moment that Bree refers to her potential sperm donor as “just some dumbass” that I know that I really like Bree.
The next day, Patti gives Bree a hug before she walks in the restaurant to meet her moms. Bree’s voiceover fills us in on more of the family background. Her moms split up when she was three, as her biological mom, Debi, started dating guys. Oh, Debi. Bree lives with her mom Sherry, but Debi lives up the road and Bree still sees her all the time. She probably hasn’t seen them together, though, for a few years. Sherry arrives at the dinner first, and assures Bree that she and her mom don’t hate each other, they just disagree on a lot of stuff. When Debi arrives, they all hug and things seem amicable. Bree asks if it’s weird for them to all be together. Debi somewhat awkwardly responds that it’s “like riding a bike.” Bree’s face in response: They voice their encouragement of her trip to Georgia, and then Bree breaks the news about the DNA kit. Debi, as Bree predicted, appears A-OK with it all, saying that she hopes she does get to meet the donor. Sherry is a little more restrained, taking what I believe is a smart, motherly role. She says that she doesn’t care either way whether Bree gets to meet the donor or not, although she appears skeptical about whether the donor would be down. “Just don’t be disappointed.” Sherry also makes it clear at the end of the conversation: “It’s not like he’s going to take my place or anything. Because if he did, I’d have to kill him.” Damn straight, Sherry. Everyone laughs. They both seem like good moms, allowing Bree to do what she wants to do, even if it may be uncomfortable for them, but above all else looking out for her well-being.
So it’s off to Georgia Bree goes, nervously but excitedly, to meet the Jacobson family. Hilit and Jonah, also both 17, have straight parents, but since their dad Eric was sterile, they decided to use a donor. Everyone greets each other with hugs at the door, including Eric and mom Terri, who both seem incredibly welcoming and warm.
They sit down for dinner, but first it’s Shabbat time, as the Jacobsons are Jewish. As they recite a prayer, Bree stands respectively but with wide, amusing eyes, as this is clearly new to her. When they finish, Terri says, “That was Hebrew,” and Bree responds, “YEAH IT WAS,” which is my favorite moment of the episode. They then gather around each other for the blessing and Terri gives Bree another hug and then Bree tries matzo ball soup for the first time which doesn’t go so well but no one seems to mind.
After dinner, they head out to one of Jonah’s friend’s houses, where we learn that Jonah and Hilit have already met nine of their other half siblings. All the teens then share a very teen-ish bonding session over a bonfire. Bree outs herself to the group and says that she feels like she’s making her lesbian mom proud, but that there’s only like, one other lesbian at her school, so that sucks. Another kid asks if she’s dating the other lesbian, lolz, but Bree says she’s picky. Like the rest of this show so far, none of the conversations seem forced or fake or posed-there are awkward moments and nervous laughter, along with true laughs and excitement, meaning, it is genuine teenagers hanging out. Bree seems happy, and later tells her video diary that she feels 100% comfortable with her new siblings. So far, this reality show is defying a lot of reality show conventions: it actually seems real, and it is surprisingly heartwarming.
The next morning, after a short call to her bestie Cathy where Bree confides that she’s sharing the same bed with Hilit, and Cathy tells her not to make any moves on her new sister-ah, besties-Bree and Jonah get some bonding time as they go out for bagels. They obviously start the conversation off right, checking out girls who walk by the window. Bree says that she doesn’t like her girls too skinny-“They gotta be a little thick”-and that while she appreciates SOME boob, she’s more of an ass girl. Jonah is also an ass girl. Because asses are awesome. Sibling bonding, y’all!
They also ponder what connects them physically, and eventually land on both having fat lower lips, which they also confirm is a girl magnet. I have to say that I am agreeing with all of their superficial assertions right now.
And because this ridiculous and hilarious conversation is going so well, after they discuss the vague mystery of their donor for a while, Bree decides it’s time to bust out the DNA kit. While Jonah doesn’t feel any need to actually meet the donor, he had just promised a few seconds earlier that he’d help Bree in her journey, so when the kit comes out, he can’t really back down. He willingly swabs his cheek for 60 seconds, both of them laughing about the bizarreness of it all the whole time.
The sibling bonding then jumps to Hilit, who takes Bree to get her nails did, which is entertaining because Bree clearly never really gets her nails did. After this day of sibling fun, however, there’s once again another parental hurdle to jump: Terri and Eric have to sign off on Jonah giving his DNA. And as they stuff their faces full of sushi, this is where things get serious. Eric first expresses his confusion over what knowing who this guy is will really bring to the kids’ lives. Hilit and Jonah assure him that they have no desire for him to be in their lives, although they can’t deny simple curiosity over what he looks like. I think the wrench for him, though, is when Terri says that she would in fact love to meet him and know more about him, something that Eric cannot understand.
He tells the story of his own journey, of the grieving he had to go through when he found out he couldn’t produce his own biological offspring. Jonah’s like, whatever, but you’re our dad, and Eric’s like, but in evolution, that’s supposed to be the one thing that the man does, and I couldn’t do it. The split between the generations is so interesting here. I understand what Eric is saying, and his honesty about getting over his own insecurities is remarkably vulnerable and honest. But the younger generation before him says it both in their words and on their faces: who cares about evolution? Evolution don’t mean a thing.
Bree has clearly never had a conversation like this about the role of masculinity, “because lesbians,” and is a little unnerved by it all. As she continues to have a great time hanging with Hilit and Jonah the next day, Terri and Eric have a moving conversation where Terri explains why she isn’t freaked out by any of this and Eric tries to explain why he is. He just has this picture of who his family is. Terri, Eric, Jonah, Hilit. That’s it. The four of them, like any family, are a pack, a team, a force that should feel indestructible. So the idea of donors, half-siblings, all of it, starts to destruct and distort the idea of what his family is, and anything that does so feels like a threat, which he takes as a threat to him. Then they both cry for a while, but when it comes to the question of whether or not Eric will sign the DNA form, he says, with barely any hesitation, that of course he will.
Bree leaves Georgia feeling like a slightly different person than she was when she got there: new family, new friends, DNA in her pocket, and a new mission. Her family and friends meet her at the airport back in Reno with signs and affection.
We then cut to a few months afterwards, when school is officially out and Bree shares her summer plans with her moms: meeting the rest of her half-siblings, and hopefully finding the donor. This all seems a bit more serious now, like it actually might happen, but Sherry and Debi are supportive and calm. If it’s what Bree wants, they’ll make it happen.
Sherry then, for some reason, starts to tell the story of how the sperm thing actually happened: for some reason they weren’t there when the sperm was delivered to their doorstep, so it was actually Bree’s grandma who signed for it, which is kinda funny, and then they had to warm it up and “make it a romantic evening” and make it happen. Bree’s face is the somewhat horrified pallor that most people take on when their parents talk about sex. Just because you were lesbians doesn’t mean you are an exception to this rule! DON’T DO IT. We end with a preview of all the other half-siblings that we’re about to meet along with Bree over the next few months.
Were you able to catch the first episode of Generation Cryo? (You can watch it here on AfterEllen if you want!) Were you as pleasantly surprised as I was at its heart? What are your thoughts?
