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“Chicago Fire” (2.6) recap: A lady in uniform

Previously on Chicago Fire, Boden threw his jersey on McLeod’s desk and told her he would step down as long and Rudy got to play. Herrmann, Otis, and Dawson are in over their heads with Arthur, but it’s cool because Dawson’s undercover cop boyfriend used to work for the Rosewood PD and is really good at doing nothing to protect them. Dawson tried to end her fight with Shay but Shay wasn’t ready to forgive her. Shay went to a party with Amy R. but ended the night making out against a wall with Devon.

Severide pops down the stairs in the ShayverOtis apartment, wearing his standard A-Team black hoodie, and finds Devon manhandling the coffee maker. “It’s broken,” she says. It’s much less charming than when Vivian can’t work her opera glasses. Severide gives her directions to the nearest Starbucks before trotting off for a morning run. Devon saunters across the living room in a tank and not much more and Shay looks like she’s considering a different kind of morning exercise.

Before he can pop into his car Severide meets his dad’s current wife and learns Benny has basically abandoned the lady. Rather than going home every weekend to see his kids as he told Kelly, Benny hasn’t been home for months. You, sir, are an asshole and your wife is way too hot for you.

Severide calls and leaves a message for Boden that he is going to be late for work because he has to stop in and kick his dad’s ass for being a deadbeat. Then he pops his cell phone into his glove compartment and starts his run. McLeod is in Boden’s office with the paperwork for Boden’s retirement. He wants her assurance that Firehouse 51 will be safe if falls on his sword. She says “Yes,” but it’s hard to trust a Slytherin wearing a snakeskin coat.

Severide is trotting alongside a construction site when he sees a backhoe being driven erratically. He watches as it runs into the Womping Willow and topples over. He rushes to help the driver. The driver is a kid and damn, if only Severide was carrying his cell phone. Severide hops up on top of the backhoe and breaks the glass on the door so he can open it. Now Nathan has glass in his hair to go with the rebar poking through his arm. It’s cool, though, because Severide says, “Stay tough, buddy.” Oh, is that all I need to do Mr. Capri pants?

Back at 51, Casey tells everyone that the decision on which house is getting closed is between 51 and 17. Mouch reminds everyone that it’s election day. Otis and Herrmann tell Dawson that maybe it’s time to call the cops and not leave protecting Molly’s to her brother, who so far has done diddly squat. She tells them to quit being such a bunch of babies because she’s got it under control. They remind her that Game Day got blown to bits and maybe Molly’s will be next. Before they make any headway with Dawson, Shay strides in, pissed off as hell that she had to take the bus because Severide is missing. Sex in an alley is cool with Shay, but riding the bus offends her delicate sensibilities.

Meanwhile, Severide is trying to pry Nathan’s leg out from under the backhoe using a piece of rebar. It doesn’t work. Severide’s next brilliant plan is to rip out the bar sticking out of Nathan’s arm. He assures Nathan that it will be just like pulling off a band-aid. Look, I’m a parent. I understand that sometimes you have to bend the truth a little to get kids to cooperate. But Severide a band-aid? Well that’s just a straight up lie. He pulls the bar out and it, of course, starts a geyser of blood. Severide asks the kid to stay tough again and starts rooting around in his bloody arm like a regular McCullers on a coconut cupcake hunt. He finds the squirter and pinches it off but now these two are stuck in one place. So Severide goes all Gilderoy Lockhart and starts screaming for help.

Back at 51 Mouch is getting ready for his debate with Greg Sullivan. He’s nervous and, per usual, Herrmann, Otis, and Mills are the opposite of helpful. Isabella walks in with some information about Sullivan. Apparently the guy is being sued for failure to pay child support. Everyone is excited except for Mouch who wants to keep his integrity. Isabella has no idea what that word means.

Boden’s latest round of staring at pictures while brooding is interrupted by a Percy Weasley type who wants to talk to Herrmann, Otis, and Dawson. Apparently they are suspects in the Game Day fire. Herrmann is irate and starts yapping like a Jack Russell. Hey Dawson, you still think you have this under control?

Isabella runs over to tell Casey that her buddy Peter Florick thinks that Heather “you might have heard I killed my best friend” Darden might have a good chance to get moved to a minimum security prison. Griffin Darden shows up and Casey takes him around the firehouse. While everyone welcomes Griffin, Dawson sneaks out for a broad daylight meet up with her undercover cop boyfriend, Jay. Please be more obvious you two. Jay tells her he has everything under control he just needs Dawson to push Arthur a little bit harder. Oh yeah, brilliant plan, Ginger Cop. I’m sure this won’t end badly.

Everyone is called out to a bike accident. A lady is pinned underneath some huge metal plates. Clarke is the man in charge and he MacGuyvers his way through the rescue using only giant rescue tools and ten other people to save the woman’s life.

Meanwhile, Severide is trying to save Nathan’s life without any tools. He asks the kid if he had a cell phone and he says, sure it’s in my backpack. Severide spots the backpack on the ground outside the backhoe. He shows Nathan how to hold his artery so he doesn’t bleed out and scampers off to get the bag. While he runs we cut back to the Chief leaving Severide a message about tardiness and how being a leader means showing up to work. When Severide hops back in the cab with Nathan he pulls out a cellphone and looks as mangled as Nathan’s arm. The kid can’t bear to hold on anymore and blood comes spurting out. Severide says, “’tis but a fleshwound.”

Griffin Darden is inspecting the firefighter coats when Casey comes to find him. He asks if someone else is wearing his dad’s coat now. Casey assures him that the coat was burned just as badly as his old man in the fire. Very comforting Casey. Mills and Clarke are putting away their equipment (not a euphemism) in the garage. Mills wants to know where Clarke learned the trick with the jaws of life. Clarke tells him that in the military they had to improvise. He likes that about being a firefighter because all they need to get by is water, common sense, and balls. Mills sits down, rests his chin on his hands and says “tell me more about your balls, Clarke.”

This homoerotic moment is broken up by Greg Sullivan who saunters in with the pallid complexion of a boiled potato. He shakes hands with Clarke and Mills before Isabella appears. She shakes his hand and he says she’s pretty like the least attractive guy in the frat basement who thinks because he’s a brother that makes him hot. Isabella looks ready to nail his balls to a table but settles for smiling and leading him into the debate.

Upstairs Dawson is busy telling Herrmann and Otis that Jay is actually a cop. They don’t believe her because, well, they’ve seen him in action. Before they can get into the details of how Jay has been screwing all of them, Sullivan walks in for the debate. He earns zero points for going after Mouch’s nickname and then after 51 as a house. Hey Shay what do you think of Sullivan?

Mouch stands up and looks like he might fight back with Sullivan’s history of not paying child support but stops himself. It’s looking pretty bleak for Mouch.

But not quite as bleak as it looks for Nathan. Severide spots a truck driving by and gets Nathan to hold his insides together while Severide sprints after the truck. Of course the truck disappears before Severide can get to it and all hope is lost, yet again. Severide runs back to the backhoe where Nathan is passed out and blood is everywhere. He clamps Nathan’s arm again but then a giant piece of metal falls and pins his leg. Severide, you can’t tempt the universe with man capris, it will smite you every time.

Boden walks into the diner, the diner on the corner, he orders to coffees, and one is for Benny. Benny wants to clear the air by saying he totally didn’t campaign for Boden’s job. Boden has this quiet, simmering, anger mixed with sadness. I wish he’d just pop Benny in the face but that’s not really his style. Instead he broods. He broods when he returns to the house, safe in the knowledge that he saved 51 by resigning. He tells everyone the good news before telling Casey he’s going to have to deal with two Severides in the house. Good luck, buddy. Having the Darden boys is going to feel like a cake walk.

Back in the backhoe of doom, Severide is pawing through Nathan’s backpack. He finds a binder clip and crows triumphantly. Saved by office supplies! He uses it to pinch the artery and now he has both of his hands free to-well, um-sit around and ask Nathan why he was joyriding in the first place. Nathan tells him that his dad was a construction worker who promised to take him for a ride one day but instead he abandoned his family. Nathan figured that he would teach himself so he could show his dad he didn’t need him. Severide can relate because he became a firefighter without Benny’s help, too. The theme of this episode is deadbeats dads. I half expected John Walsh to show up with a list of America’s Most Wanted deadbeats at the end.

Isabella tells Mouch it’s the last chance to let everyone know what a swine Sullivan is. Mouch won’t do it. Isabella gets angry and goes all Stillwell on him, chanting, “You’re gonna lose, you’re gonna lose.” Mills steps in and tells her in his most condescending voice, “This isn’t Washington.” She leaves in a huff.

Shay and Dawson are doing a little inventory on the rig (god I wish that were a euphemism) when Devon saunters up and tells the world just how much she loves a woman in uniform. Get in line, girl. Dawson fake coughs and Shay half introduces Devon before ignoring jealous Dawson. Devon wants to know when Shay gets off. Work. She’s talking about work. Devon wants to know when she gets off work and Shay tells her not until the next morning. Devon wonders if Shay has a break coming up and maybe she can help her get off. Sadly, this threesome is called out to a lady in distress. Shay, the captain of the S.S. Terrible Ideas, invites Devon to ride along. Dawson protests and then throws her hands up and says, “Whatever.” Oh, Dawson, we all wish you two would just go back to your special showers together. But only you can make that happen.

When they say “lady in distress” they mean a lady in full on bath salts induced crazy town. She’s like one of Pennsatucky’s minions. Devon laughs inappropriately because she’s that sort of useless girlfriend. Crabtree and Evelyn launches herself at Dawson and they knock over a display in the store. Shay jabs Evie with a sedative and take her away.

It’s midnight in the backhoe of good and evil and Severide is trying to figure out how Nathan got the rig started in the first place. He says he used a screwdriver and Severide tries to locate it and, surprise!, finds it just out of his reach. Maybe if he went to some of those wellness yoga sessions he would be able to stretch farther.

Back at the house, Griffin is staring at a wall. Is anyone keeping an eye on this kid? He asks if firefighter’ have badges like cops do and Casey is surprised his mom never took him to see his dad’s badge. Shay hops out of the rig and offers to give Devon the “tour.” First stop the on-call room, right ladies? Instead they run into the Chief who growls at Shay about how Severide’s absence without a note from his parent or guardian is unacceptable. Shay says, “Am I my lesbro’s keeper?”

The next morning Shay runs through the ShayverOtis apartment looking for Kelly. When Otis confirms he hasn’t heard from him either she grabs Otis’ keys and runs out the door to look for Severide. Finally, Super Shay to the rescue! Severide wakes up in the backhoe and checks to see if Nathan is, despite his Blue is the Deadest Color complexion, still living. Severide still can’t reach the screwdriver.

Meanwhile, at Molly’s, Dawson is filling napkin holders while Arthur menaces her from the end of the bar. He asks for his money and when she says no he pours out some very expensive looking scotch and lights the bar on fire. Jay grabs for the gun in the other henchman’s pants (not a euphemism) and punches him. Arthur shoots Jay and trains the gun on Dawson. Jay puts his gun to Arthur’s head and tells him he’s under arrest before pistol whipping. Dawson puts the fire out and helps Jay call 911.

Shay pulls up and finds Severide’s car in the parking lot. She heads out to look for him. He’s trying to wake Nathan up in the backhoe but not having any luck. He finds a metal strip in the binding of one of Nathan’s text books and is able to get the backhoe running. Shay pulls up to the site and starts looking around. She hears banging and arrives in time to see the backhoe pop upright. Severide carries Nathan to Otis’s truck (man he’s going to be pissed about all the blood in his back seat). Shay does what she’s best at and drives like a maniac to the hospital.

Mouch and the boys are sitting at a diner when he gets the news that he lost to Sullivan. Jay and Dawson are talking in front of Molly’s. Antonio stops by to tell Jay that getting shot is the surest way to get promoted and Jay wants into Antonio’s team (clearly he did not watch season one of this show). Dawson breaks up with him because she can’t handle him going undercover. Toodles, Jay. It was fun.

Casey takes Griffin to see his dad’s badge on the all of honor and the kid cries. Shay and Severide are in the hospital when Nathan is wheeled out with his mom. He says “Mom, this is the man who saved me.” If this were a Lifetime movie the mom and Severide would have an affair and little Nathan would have new dad.

All right, what did you think of this week’s episode?

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