This week’s Glee is called “The End of Twerk” and after viewing the promo material for the episode I have come to the conclusion that Glee really does intend to bring the entire twerking movement to a decisive close by exposing the entire world to the image of Will Schuester twerking.
No, not just twerking.
How do I describe the full effect of what Glee is putting us through? OK, the episode features a teacher writhing around and bouncing that grown-man ass in a pile of his own students. You thought watching him rap was bad, you thought watching him clomp around in a matador costume was worse, but nothing has prepared your eyeballs for what’s going to happen to them on Thursday night. The impending atrocity has called to mind 20 other non-twerking things Glee should put an end to. Here they are, in no particular order.
1) Will Schuester’s career.
2) The casually transphobic jokes about Unique.
3) Jake and Ryder’s storylines.
4) Actually: Lima’s storylines, full stop.
5) Bree’s attempt at being the next Santana Lopez. (There is only one Santana Lopez and she is Santana Lopez.)
6) The meta jokes about its own offensiveness because the writers have no intention of stopping the offensiveness.
7) Quinn Fabray’s exile.
8) The pervasive misogyny.
9) Tina’s misery. (Can’t she ever just have one nice thing?!)
10) Its under-use of Demi Lovato.
11) Santana’s sapphic chastity. (Let her get it with a girl, on-screen, the way she got it with dudes.)
12) The plan to send Kurt to Russia. (?!?!)
13) The retconning of Brittana.
14) The Schue vs. Sylvester fued. (It could not be more played at this point.)
15) Unique’s singleness.
What do you think Glee should end?