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10 TV characters who need to just come out already

In yesterday’s Morning Brew, we mentioned that ABC has ordered four more episodes of Rebel Wilson‘s Super Fun Night, which made us pretty happy for a couple of reasons. For starters, we love Rebel and the rest of the female-centric cast but the show got off to a Super Slow Start. Last week, things started turning around, though, and we hope the funny stuff gains some traction in the coming weeks. But also, we really don’t want Super Fun Night to get cancelled before Kimmie’s obviously Super Gay Friend, Marika, has a chance to say she’s gay. In fact, we’ve compiled a list of 10 TV characters who just need to come out already. 1. Marika, Super Fun Night Here’s the deal: If your main goal in life is to chat up Lucy Lawless while dressed like Xena at a Xena: Warrior Princess convention so you can thank her for inspiring you to start an all-girls football team, you’re pretty gay. And that’s exactly what happened to Marika (wherein Xena = Murna and Lucy Lawless = Brooke Shields) last week on Super Fun Night. Because Marika is “the secretary of [Murna’s] Lower East Side of Manhattan not including Chinatown Fan Club.” 2. Myka Bering, Warehouse 13 The woman whose job it is to keep the world and the Warehouse safe from dangerous magical artifacts was willing to risk the world and the Warehouse (twice!) to save the life of one woman – Helena G. Wells. Because she’s in consuming, incandescent love with her. Scissoring love. Joanne Kelly knows it. Jaime Murray knows it. Jack Kenny knows it. With one final truncated season of Warehouse 13 left, we’re begging you to come out of the closet, sweet Myka. Go to Nowhere, Wisconsin and bring your woman home. Don’t just stare out the window forlornly, sobbing your eyeballs out, while you drive away from her. 3. Mona Vanderwaal, Pretty Little Liars Using her powers of adrenalized hyperreality, Mona waged emotional and psychological warfare on the Pretty Little Liars for years, all because they took Hanna away from her. And where did she go when she broke out of her mental institution on Halloween? To a party on a train dressed as herself dressed as a dead girl dressed as Hanna’s boyfriend, all in the hopes that they could dance up on each other for a few minutes. Gay as a window. A beautiful, homicidal, stained glass window.

4 & 5. Jane and Maura, Rizzoli & Isles Honestly, it’s just getting ridiculous at this point for these two to keep claiming to be straight. 6. Quinn Fabray, Glee There’s a reason Quinn can never stay happy with any of the million boys she dates and a reason why all her selfless acts are for the benefit of one person (Rachel Berry) and a reason why her favorite Yale pastime is attending Jodie Foster‘s Clambakes and a reason she had sex with Santana not once, but twice. And that reason is: gay. 7. Stahma Tarr, Defiance Stahma loves power more than she loves anything else in the world, but the thing she loved second most was her sexytime shenanigans with Kenya Rosewater. She was willing to risk her reputation, her family, and even her life for those stolen moments of Sapphic bliss. Sure, she ended up poisoning her (possibly) to death, but it was like the first thing she’d ever been sorry about in 5,000 years.

8. Gabriela Dawson, Chicago Fire Girl, it’s not the way you risk your life on the regular to keep Shay safe that makes us think you’re gay for her. It’s the way you look at her and touch her and how your chemistry sizzles hotter than any fire Station 51 has ever dealt with. 9. Mariana Adams-Foster, The Fosters Look, we’ve all been there. In high school, in college, sometimes well into adulthood, we’ve all had a best friend – but like a best friend – who decided she’d rather spend time with a dude than with us and it broke our hearts into a hundred million pieces because WE THOUGHT WE WERE BEST FRIENDS. It happened to Mariana this season on The Fosters and it hurt her more than her birth mom asking her to steal stuff from her adopted moms so she could pawn it for drugs. (Protip: You’re not looking for a best friend; you’re looking for a girlfriend.) 10. Marceline the Vampire Queen, Adventure Time Just the lyrics to one of the songs Marceline makes up for Princess Bubblegum, on the spot:

Sorry I don’t treat you like a goddess, Is that what you want me to do? Sorry I don’t treat you like you’re perfect, Like all your little loyal subjects do.

Sorry I’m not made of sugar, Am I not sweet enough for you? Is that why you always avoid me? That must be such an inconvenience to you.

I shouldn’t have to be the one that makes up with you, So… why do I want to? Why do I want to…

And that was before they went on the road together in Marceline & the Scream Queens.

Which TV character do you think should just come out already?

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