On a Friday night in LA LA land, I scuttle down a darkened Downtown alley. The streets here are grim and deserted at night, save for the usual corner dwellers muttering slurred profanities. Scantily costumed in an ivory lace mini dress and lace-up Jeffrey Campbell go-go boots, I feel uncomfortably exposed. A glimpse of purple light illuminates the end of the alley, and my pace quickens. Only a little longer now.
Finally I reach my destination, marked by a crowd of buoyant, barely dressed men. IT’S HALLOWEENIE bitches! Every year the Gay Men’s Chorus of LA (GMCLA) throws “Fred & Jason’s Halloweenie,” an extravagant affair drawing hordes of gay city dwellers eager to outshine the competition and get tipsy. My feet are already aching, but I can’t tolerate any gay man looking at me and thinking “I’m prettier.” I must be a representation of hotness for all lesbians, like Rachel Maddow or Ellen Page. I’ve arrived just in time. A slow but steady trickle of celebrities and wanna-bes sashay down the red carpet, eager for attention. And I’m here to give it to them.
First up is Kristanna Loken, an Amazonian blonde model/actress best known for her action film roles in Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines, Painkiller Jane, and Burn Notice.
You probably know her at the MILF who (briefly) held Shane’s attention in The L Word’s fourth season. Or maybe you remember Kristanna as the bisexual rumored to have dated Michelle Rodriguez while co-starring in BloodRayne. As far as I can tell, Kristanna’s costume is “Grecian Goddess” and the woman is putting Aphrodite to shame.
AfterEllen.com: In 2009 you separated from your husband and began dating a woman. Are you seeing anyone now?
Kristanna Loken: Yes! I’m actually here with my girlfriend tonight.
AE: Do you consider yourself an active part of the LGBT community?
KL: Definitely, I brought my girlfriend out tonight to support and represent the GMCLA as an openly bisexual woman.
AE: Do you have a fabulous costume planned for Halloween?
KL: You know, I dress up for a living so I’m usually not super into costumes, but after seeing the great costumes here tonight I might just get inspired.
Next on the carpet were Blair Late and Jeff Penderson, the only gay couple in Bravo’s latest reality hit Newlyweds: The First Year. The energetic couple strike pose after pose, clearly pros after only one season of Bravo stardom.
Blair and Jeff answer questions in sync, finishing each others sentences in that eerie way that gay couples do. You know you know what I’m talking about.
AE: What were the best and worst parts of representing a gay couple on national television?
Blair Late: The worst part was just all the scheduling behind the scenes. The filming was great and actually helped our relationship in many ways.
AE: Really? You don’t hear a lot of people saying that reality stardom helped their relationships.
Jeff Penderson: It forced us to face things that people put under the rug and not deal with when they first get married.
Blair Late: We let it all hang out! Sex and money, that’s what it’s all about.
After chatting with an assortment of aspiring unknowns who are, alas, not important enough to write about, I catch my whale: Lindsey Shaw, AKA Paige from Pretty Little Liars.
When Lindsey learns I’m from AfterEllen, her swoon-worthy eyes light up.
Lindsey Shaw: Oh my gosh, I love AfterEllen! You guys are so sweet and reading AfterEllen has helped me understand Paige and “Paily” so much better.
AE: So our recaps are like character research?
Lindsey Shaw: Yes, and I’m also a huge fan of Heather Hogan’s writing. She’s brilliant! Her words are just… I’m at a loss for words for Heather Hogan’s words! It’s an art form what she does. She’s really figured it out.
AE: She’s going to love that. Want to give her a shout out?
Lindsey Shaw: Heather, you know I love you so much, darling. You and AfterEllen rock!
Just as I begin tucking recording gear away in my Botkier bag, two fine gents from LOGO approach. It’s Kit Williamson, writer and director of LOGO webseries Eastsiders, and John Halbach, who plays Ian on the show. They come bearing glorious news!
Kit Williamson: We are expanding our lesbian character Brie, played by Brea Grant, in season two. We’re going to delve into her family life. She has a wife and three kids, and they’re all going to be featured in season two.
So there you have it, straight from the red carpet: Kristanna Loken’s got a girl, EastSiders is adding more plotlines to a girl who likes girls, and Lindsey Shaw loves Heather Hogan with burning fervor. There’s never been a better time to talk gay in LA.