Previously on Chicago Fire, Shay and Dawson watched a guy blow a hole in his head, and because that wasn’t bad enough, Dawson told Shay it was all her fault. The good ship Shawson is on the rocks and taking on water. Dawson found out that Smarmy Jay was a cop, but still smarmy. Gail McLeod were picked by Byron Montgomery to be captains of Team The Worst, and Boden’s job is in trouble. Finally, Shay marinated her feelings in tequila and found herself making eyes at a pretty lady in a bar.
Dawson is waking up at Smarmy Jay’s house of sex. He comes back with a single mug of coffee. Would it have killed you to make the lady a cup? Amateur. Dawson purrs about what a great morning it is and then they jump back into sexy times and chat about how if she tells anyone Jay’s a cop he’ll be a dead cop. Not exactly your typical pillow talk, but I’m not here to judge. I have to ask, do straight people leave their bras on during sex? Dawson, there’s a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It’s a pity to cover yours. I’m sure Shay can help you unclasp that sucker if Mr. Only Coffee for Me can’t work it.
Also waking up in an unfamiliar bed is our Leslie Shay. I’d like to take a moment to note that she is not wearing a bra because, in the words of our Amy and Tina, bitches get shit done. Shay reaches for her buzzing phone and answers a call from Amy. She agrees to plans having something to do with a party. In her state, she’d probably agree to spending the night playing canasta with Grunwald in Ravenswood. She looks up to find a camera pointing at the bed and a fully dressed hottie watching her. Shay sits up and looks around and freaks a little at the sight of the camera. “Relax, I’m a photographer,” the lady says and that makes exactly no one feel better. Shay slowly puts the night back together. There were tequila shots and a cab ride, the mention of which causes a smirk to bloom on hottie’s face. Shay grabs her stuff, clutches it to herself and does an awkward walk of shame.
Benny’s late meeting Kelly for coffee because he’s saying goodbye to a woman who I want to say is his daughter (she’s totally not). Benny warns Kelly that he’s got it on good authority that Boden is on his way out and that Kelly has to make a choice. He does not say that he’s the one cheering McLeod as she does the pushing.
Speaking of McLeod, the Chief is meeting with her in her office. She runs through a laundry list of his shortcomings and then tells him that the state would like to save the fire house but send him on his merry way with a early retirement offer. Boden channels a PG-rated Lt. O’Neil and tells Master Chief McLeod to kiss his ass.
Casey, Mouch, and Mills are talking about the Chief while Snitchy Spellman lurks nearby. Mills is pissed that he told Spellman all sorts of stuff about the Chief and then asks Casey if he still has to cook for the guy. Casey follows Spellman out of the room. Shay walks in, exchanges a quick “I can’t believe you blamed me for that guy killing himself but I still love you” look with Dawson before heading to get some coffee. Severide hops up from the couch and asks Shay if she had fun the night before. Her face says “Shit, I didn’t know there would be a test” while she tries to cover for her lack of memory with a “Yeah sure, lots of fun was had doing some stuff.” He says he sent her a few texts and she lies and says she was at Amy’s and got a little drunk. He says that’s fine but he doesn’t want to worry that she’s finally succumbed to the constant danger that follows her around at all times. She says “OK, Dad, I’ll text next time.”
Casey confronts Spellman in the locker room about being the snitch. Spellman refuses to back down and won’t let Casey and the others shove him out like they did with Hadley. I’m not sure aligning yourself with a serial arsonist is your strongest move, Spellman.
Outside the garage, Dawson is filling Herrmann and Otis in on just how close the cops are to busting Arthur. She says all her information is coming from Antonio but she’s a terrible liar. I hope no one else asks her about Jay because man, if this is her lying to protect him, he’s royally screwed. In the middle of all of this they get called out. Saved by the bell, Gabriela. Next time get your story straight.
They find a house with a tree crashed through the top two floors. There’s a baby trapped alone on the second floor because of course there is. The Chief sends small teams in to help on both floors and Dawson and Shay fight over their medic bags because they can’t fight over their feelings. Inside, Shay becomes increasingly inappropriate with a woman being crushed by a tree. Clarke watches as Shay snickers and giggles and stops just short of coming on to the lady. Everyone gets out of the treehouse of horrors alive. Outside, the Chief looks around like a senior on graduation day. Have a bitchin’ summer isn’t going to cover it.
Back at the house, Otis tells Mouch about the party he’s throwing for Shay because they’re besties now. Shay really needs help cheering up and he’s just the guy to do it. Otis is totally the early days David Silver of this group. Boden walks in and tells everyone they need to have a physical by the end of the day. Mouch starts mouthing off and the Chief shuts him down with a roar that would make Katy Perry proud. Boden stalks off to his office and Casey and Severide lock eyes for a quicky before following. Boden tells Casey and Severide that Dolores Umbridge is coming for him. Severide is all, “You’re Dumbledore, you can’t just leave, you have to fight.” Boden looks touched by the sentiment but weary of fighting.
Mills bops up to Shay and says he’ll start the exams with Cruz and Shay can do Dawson. Yes! It’s lesbian Christmas! But no, Shay declines the opportunity to check Dawson over and tells Mills he can do her instead. Mills agrees because he’s a puppy and then realizes that it might be a bit awkward. Mills takes Dawson’s blood and teases her that he’s going to need a stool sample too. She tells him she misses him, and his jokes before asking how things are going with Isabella. He says they are good and assures her that they’ll get back to being friends some day. Friends with your exes? Your lesbian is showing, you two.