Last season on The Good Wife, we left off with Diane Lockhart possibly leaving ship to become a judge (whoa), Cary Agos definitely leaving ship to form his own firm, and Alicia possibly going with him (double whoa), and Mr. Big becoming governor of the Land of Lincoln (snore). Things that are more interesting about Illinois than Peter Florrick: Its state dance is the square dance! Its state food is a tie between an apple and popcorn! Also everything else.
We begin Season Cinco right where we left off, with Alicia inviting Cary over to celebrate her decision about Florrick, Agos and Associates. As Cary fills her in with who else is on board, Alicia asks the question that’s always on our tongues: “But what about Kalinda?” Cary answers, “Nah, she wanted too much money because of her righteous and completely accurate self-worth.” Alicia waits nary a second before shrugging and being like, “Eh, OK,” and then says something weak about everything changing. What? Is Kalicia completely dead? I know it’s been going that way for a while, but the true death of their friendship would be a huge blow for the show. Is that really the most fight Alicia will put up for her?
So let’s take stock: With Kalinda still tenuously on their side, we have one point for Team Lockhart Gardner. Cary was able to reel in Robyn, though, so one point for Team Florrick Agos. But wait, they still don’t have Kalinda. So NEVERMIND ZERO POINTS FOR TEAM DUMBASS.
This somewhat celebratory scene then strangely and abruptly switches to Alicia and Diane sitting in Indiana, waiting to watch an execution. Maybe there wasn’t a better way to transition that one, so they just went for no transition at all. I am very much not ready for this, as I have had death penalty trauma ever since The Green Mile and probably even before The Green Mile. And then the man who’s about to be executed begins his last words, which include lots of tears and a request to Alicia and Diane to apologize to his mother for being a disappointment of a son-no, stop it-but he continues to plead that he’s not guilty of the crime and then suddenly blood starts dripping out of his vein in big gross spurts-no, what is happening?-and they hurriedly close the blinds to the viewing room. Oh God this is horrible. But you know what they say, nothing like a botched execution to really kick off a season!
Lockhart Gardner is clearly the not-yet-executed guy’s lawyers, and Diane immediately makes a complaint of torture and gets the execution delayed. Everyone back at headquarters commences to spend most of the episode running around trying to get it delayed as long as possible, hopefully forever, while scrambling to find evidence of his innocence, all while the most dramatic music ever plays in the background. I have missed you, dramatic Good Wife music!
Comedic value is dropped into all this tension via a woman “telecommuting” through a contraption that is half Segway, half one of those signs that tells you where to wait in line at the doctor’s office. She/it follows people around, bumping into doors and shouting from the void. Like most things, this is only truly funny because of Alicia’s deadpan reaction to it.
In other important news, Robyn still exists, which is great! And she is wearing a most excellent sweater with a bird on it!
The only screentime we really get with Kalinda is when Grumpypants M&M Lawyer sits her down and orders her to get the scoop on the fourth years, who are really, really not being coy about this whole we’re-planning-a-coup thing. I know you’re supposed to be smart people, but I’m beginning to question the quality of your intelligence when you start fist bumping and beating your chests in conference rooms with glass walls and shouting “WE’RE SO HAPPY YOU’RE LEAVING WITH US!” to Alicia as she walks down the hall. Cool your jets, deserters!
Plus, one of the fourth years gives Alicia some guff when they meet oh-so-secretly in a parking lot to talk shop. One, you do not give Alicia guff. Two, this shop talk ends up being about delaying their departure from Lockhart Gardner by another three weeks, because the fourth years want to wait for their bonuses first. Oh man. Florrick Agos ain’t never going to happen, is it?
In Governor Big’s office, we are also introduced to the new head of his ethics committee, an uber hot woman named Marilyn played by Melissa George, an Aussie actress who us Americans might remember from when she appeared in eight episodes of Grey’s Anatomy back in 2009 as Dr. Sadie Harris, Meredith’s rebellious old pal.
If your brain is going where my brain is going, you might be wondering if Marilyn and her perfect face will at some point come into contact with Kalinda’s perfect face, but alas, it doesn’t appear that way. We don’t yet get to meet Kalinda’s love interest that we’ve been promised this season by the Kings. While Kalinda and Robyn do get to share a brief scene in this episode when they track down an old snitch in the death row case, and I do love me Kalinda and Robyn scenes, the only real relationship Kalinda still seems to have at this point is with her trusty orange notebook. Along with the ghosts of all of our hopes for her heart.
Anyway, it seems Marilyn’s main plot point is that she is too sexy for Peter Florrick, or at least Eli worries it will seem that way to the press if they’re ever seen in pictures together. And we do indeed see Peter sneaking too long of a peek at the lady’s legs at one point before shaking himself out of it. Peter, seriously, what is wrong with you? So even though he had previously blown off Eli’s suggestion that they “promote” her to a different office, because “We don’t get rid of people because they’re too pretty,” apparently they do, because he eventually tells Eli to do just that. But smart and sexy Marilyn can smell your sexist shit, guys. You are dumb.
Doubts for the future of Florrick Agos continue to swim up as Alicia is cornered by all the partners in Diane’s office, pressing her for information about the dissenting fourth years.
She answers as tersely as she can-all while hilariously holding a happy face sign, which someone had stuck on Roaming Telecommuting Litigator’s face-and then later confronts Cary with some of the rising tension she’s feeling: as a partner, she has current legal obligations to Lockhart Gardner, and the longer she lies or withholds information from them, the more she opens herself up to a lawsuit.
But more importantly, she’s thinking about this death row case, which they are all working on pro bono. She’s been watching how hard, and how cleverly, Will and Diane are working on it, and she knows that it’s a case Florrick Agos wouldn’t be able to take on because they couldn’t afford it. Cary tries to convince her that it took time for Will and Diane to be able to take on pro bono cases, too, but she looks only semi-convinced. But she still seems to be sticking to her word.
Speaking of the death row case, it becomes increasingly clear-mainly due to Robyn and Kalinda’s sleuthing, per usual-that the man is in fact probably innocent. But even with all of their work, the judge, who is played amazingly by Jeffrey Tambor, otherwise known as George Bluth Sr., essentially says that it’s too little too late. The execution is re-scheduled, and it seems that Lockhart Gardner has exhausted all of their options. Isn’t the American justice system the best?
In the end, though, Will pulls an ultra quirky move by calling the DEA on their asses, since they have illegally transported toxic chemicals through the US Postal Service for the special execution. You see, the man’s veins are real ruined by drugs, which caused the beginning bloody and traumatic vein scene, so they had to ship in some special deadly stuff. Postal law! Will, you clever bastard!
So after now being strapped to his death bed twice, literally almost moments from dying, twice, the probably-innocent and definitely-tortured man is given a reprieve once again. Diane and Alicia give him the news that the governor-Peter, now-has suspended the execution, and the state isn’t going to try a third time. In a nutshell, as Alicia happily says, it’s over. She gives him a teary hug. And while his face is filled with relief, I don’t believe that this means he’s actually free, but that he’ll just spend the rest of his probably-innocent life inside of a jail cell instead of facing the executioner’s needle. So, yay?
In any case, it is still cause for Will and Diane to celebrate, which Alicia wistfully watches while wistfully leaning against a door frame back at the office. She also glances at Cary, gathering papers in another room, until she returns her line of vision to Will. Because she always returns to Will. As he brushes happily past her to pick up another bottle of alcohol, she can’t seem to bear it anymore, and says “Will, I need to tell you something.” As they still haven’t resolved anything post-make out session in last season’s finale, Will assumes this confession will obviously have to do with their emotions instead of their careers. He’s like, look, it’s fine that you never called me back that night, let’s get off the merry-go-round of lust and love, it’s fine. As he begins to walk away, Alicia says quietly to herself, “Don’t end up hating me.” And even my heart twists for this never-ending Willicia heartache.
Will and Diane’s victory dance is also perfectly emblematic of the complexity of Alicia’s doubts: Will and Diane aren’t perfect, that’s for sure. They do not always do the right thing, and we have four seasons’ worth of decisions to prove it. But no matter how other law shows spin it, the law isn’t always about doing the right thing. And sometimes, when they’re able to, they do do the right thing, and they go to enormous lengths to fight for justice, like saving a probably-innocent man from execution. It’s hard to say that either Lockhart Gardner or Cary are right or wrong in their wishes and ambitions. So should Alicia stay? Or should she go?
What were your thoughts on the first episode back? What are your hopes for this season?
