“Mistresses” recap (1.10): Femme Fatale

Previously on Mistresses, April told Zombie Paul to scram, Savi and Joss hugged and made up, Karen got busted by her dead ex-lover’s psychowife, and Alex and Joss decided to be girlfriends.

We open with Savi and Joss, trying to fix a leaky shower head. Savi is pretty lost because Harry usually handled…well, everything. Joss is pretty surprised that Savi had zero autonomy in her relationship, because when she was living alone for seven years, she got along just fine. Savi says Harry was “old fashioned” and Joss is even happier now that she’s dating a woman and not a caveman. Savi just feels defeated.

Savi feels defeated in Episode 10 of Mistresses

Across town, April is dropping her daughter off at school. Lucy is embarrassed to be seen with her mother, which is absurd, because her mother is STUNNING, but she eventually gives in and blows a kiss. It’s adorable. Happy as can be, April turns to leave, when she sees Zombie Paul lurking about in his car. She’s so angry, she storms right by Hot Dad, who was beaming at her from his own vehicle.

April demands to know what on earth Zombie Paul was doing outside Lucy’s school. Zombie Paul says he just wanted to eat…errr, see his daughter again and he starts sobbing. April is not moved by zombie crocodile tears and tells him to go back to the hell-soaked lair he crawled out of.

April is not moved in episode 10 of Mistresses

In her office, Karen is leaving Savi angry messages, because she didn’t show up to their daily meeting of the Terrible Decision Makers, so Karen hasn’t had the chance to complain about being accused of assisting a murder she actually did assist in committing. She storms out of the office in a huff and the adorable Overenthusiastic Receptionist tries to follow her. (I’m almost positive she was put there just so you weren’t tempted to change the channel because Karen was being so ridiculous.)

When Karen gets to Savi’s office, Savi quickly closes to door because she’s definitely not allowed to be talking about this case with her. Therefore, Karen starts shouting at her. See, she doesn’t quite realize that SOME people’s degrees weren’t printed off the internet, and therefore come with rules. When Savi refuses to break the rules with her, she storms off.

Joss is working prettily in her office when Olivier creeps up behind her. He has a task for her – a New York City couple is in LA for the weekend and he needs Joss to show them a good time so they will take them on as realtors. Joss is glad Olivier is finally realizing that she’s a huge asset to the company, but she already has a date with Alex tonight. Olivier then turns his accent up to full sleaze and asks if ze have become, how you say, lovahhs. Joss confirms with an adorable “oui oui.”

Mistresses 110-3

Meanwhile, April is spilling coffee all over people at her shop, because her latest Zombie Paul encounter has left her frazzled. Hot Dad pops by for a visit, and since April has apparently been spending appropriate amounts of time away from her friends, she decides to tell him the truth right away. Hot Dad tries to be supportive, and says maybe she SHOULD just tell Lucy, so that they can contact the proper authorities, but April knows that the only thing worse than telling your daughter her father died, is telling your daughter that her father pretended to be dead to go live with another family.

Later, Joss pops into Olivier’s office and hands him three folders. She has planned out three possible evenings for his big city couple, so Olivier doesn’t have to do anything but lead the way. He looks surprised and impressed, and finally puts his accent to good use by calling her “Josslyn” all fancy-like. He gives her a creepy once-over and tells her that she seems different, and she smiles proudly and says that maybe she is.

Mistresses 110-4“I am, how you say, très jolie, no?”

Savi, despite being close friends with two other single women who she hasn’t asked for help yet, decides to call Harry about the leaky shower. He belittles her and spits, “You’re going to have to learn to do this stuff on your own.” Which makes me feel like even Zombie Paul or Stalker Sam would have been a better option than jumping right to the ex-husband solution. I mean, did she even TRY Googling the solution?

Anyway, Dom stops by because she seemed a little worn out at work, and he’s very sweet. They settle in, under the pretense of working from home.

Stalker Sam stops by Karen’s office and she not only lets him in, but she closes the door behind them, putting an opaque, solid barrier between her and safety. She doesn’t seem nearly as alarmed as I do when Sam starts to speak and is calm. Too calm. Sociopathically calm.

In the land of the not-about-to-get-murdered, Joss is getting glammed up for her date. And I do mean GLAMMED.

Mistresses 110-5

Unfortunately, Alex calls and tells Joss she has to cancel her date because she’s sick. Joss should have gone over anyway, because I’m pretty sure that corset could cure any ailment. Instead, she calls Olivier and says she can help out with that work thing after all.

On her way out, Joss cuts through Savi’s kitchen and is less than pleased to find Dom there. She flat-out tells him that she’s Team Harry and that she won’t be moved by his extra-sultry voice. He swears they’re just friends, but Joss doesn’t buy it and her sister-claws come out. Silly Dom is not nearly as intimidated as he should be, and carries on as he was, not knowing that if he gets between Harry and Savi, Joss will probably literally castrate him.

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