Previously on Mistresses, Karen got stalked by Sam, Joss got kissed by Alex, Dom got punched by Harry, and April got punk’d by Paul.
Speaking of Paul, he’s just all up on April’s front porch, super casual, like she hasn’t thought he was dead for three years. He stays calm, cool, and collected while he tries to explain that he faked his own death. She gets a phone call that her daughter is on the way home from school, sick, and she literally starts flailing around. She tells Paul that he needs to GTFO before Lucy gets home and that he can explain himself later. Maybe.
At Casa Davis, Savi and Harry flirt a little in the kitchen. She’s shy and nervous and takes this opportunity to tell him that she has a six week checkup today that maybe he wants to go to. Harry says he’ll go next time, when he has more than two minutes notice, and Savi gets a glimmer of hope in her eyes.
Meanwhile, Joss and Alex are shopping, because if Joss is going to be crashing for a while, she needs to make sure the place is up to her real estate agent standards. While they’re joking about rugs and before Joss can make a dirty joke, they run into Sally. Alex starts to freak because it’s the first time she’s seen her ex since the breakup, but Joss assures her that she looks gorgeous and not to worry. Sally waves around her new, bitchfaced, clingy “friend” Story (like a bedtime story—for prostitutes) like a kid with a fancy new toy before flouncing off, hand-in-hand with her new plaything. When they’re out of earshot, Joss looks worriedly at Alex and ask if she’s okay. Alex, quite unconvincingly, insists that she’s fine.
April goes to the motel Paul is staying and she slaps him right across his undead face. She demands an explanation and he is still being awfully calm for just having reappeared after three years. He tells April that he had lost his job and they were running out of money and then he found out his Mistress Bitch was pregnant and he decided that instead of tackling his issues head on, he decided to take running away from his problems to a new level by just faking his death. When April demands why he thought leaving two women and two children to mourn him was a good idea, he gets a guilty look on his face and admits that actually he’s been living with Mistress Bitch and their love child. Surprise! Honestly, I’m surprised she didn’t just kill him for real right then and there. As the Six Merry Murderesses would say, he had it coming.
April starts losing her MIND, understandably. Zombie Paul swears he had nothing to do with Miranda showing up and asking for money right after the insurance money got deposited, all he did was tell her about the money and also give her April’s bank information and password, but seriously it’s so not his fault she was scamming his widow…
At Joss’s work, Olivier calls Joss into his office. He tells her that they’re building a hotel and that he needs Joss and her young chicness to accompany him to a meeting with a contractor tomorrow. As she’s about to leave, he points out that she’s wearing Alex’s bracelet. Joss teases him by asking if he wants her number, and when he doesn’t object, she tells him that Olivier is not Alex’s type, what with the penis and all. She flashes her best Josslyn Carver smile and struts out of the room, leaving him to contemplate that little tidbit.
Alex is on the couch when Joss comes home. She starts rambling about their Ugly Naked Guy neighbor and his unappealing meatballs, but if SHE wasn’t even interested, I’m not sure what makes her think Alex would be. Though, as it turns out, Alex didn’t even hear the meatball story, because she was too busy Facebook stalking Sally and counting exactly how many pictures she has been cropped out of and reading every single exchange between Sally and Story. Before her head can explode from over-processing, Joss takes the laptop from her and de-friends Sally, saying her new girlfriend is the worst Story she’s ever heard. She sets the computer aside and leans into Alex, tucking her hair behind her ear and calling her beautiful. Typical straight girl move. Alex knows it. Alex has been there before. She looks at Joss curiously as Joss goes in for the kiss, but she doesn’t fight it.
After a second she pulls back, hesitating, and it’s Joss’s turn to look curious. But Alex dismisses that nagging voice in the back of her head telling her she’s in for a truckload of heartache and tells Joss it’s nothing. Joss kisses her again, and Alex kisses her back, against her better judgment.
Later that night, Alex and Joss are in the bedroom, post-coitally, when Savi calls Joss to tell her about April’s big news. Joss immediately starts putting her pants back on and Alex does a terrible job of hiding her disappointment. She asks Joss what’s wrong, but Joss isn’t even sure she knows herself, so she promises she’ll explain later, kisses Alex on the cheek, and vanishes into thin air.