“Orange is the New Black” recap (1.5): The Chickening

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Sunday in Prison!

Chapman wakes up a little sad. Well, she is in prison and stuff. She grabs a book, a granola bar, and some peanut butter. She also grabs some tea from the dining hall. A guard (O’Neill, whom we haven’t talked to much) cautions Chapman that breakfast is the most important meal of the day and announces that he’s doing that four-hour body thing. Oh, dear.

Chapman takes her stuff out to the prison yard for a read in the cool autumn air. She sees a chicken. Yes, a chicken.

Chapel!

Nichols (Hiiii, Nichols!) is in the Chapel making Morello see God. Nichols gives Morello like half a second to rest, then says she wants to work out her other arm so she won’t be asymmetrical. Always the romantic. Morello says she’s engaged and can’t sleep with Nichols anymore, and Nichols says “At least get me off first.” Morello complains that that isn’t very classy.

Honestly? No one is right in this argument. While Nichols isn’t being sensitive to Morello’s feelings, I don’t think it’s quite proper last-sex-before-the breakup etiquette to announce the new rules directly after your own orgasm but before your partner’s. Let your regret hit at a moment that’s a little more sporting.

oitnb_pds_162_hImages Courtesy of Netflix. Photo by Eric Liebowitz

But there’s no more time for fisticuffs of either kind, because some people are coming into the chapel who would like to actually use it as a chapel. Morello and Nichols hide under the altar until they can scramble out.

The Sister, a chaplain, and some prisoner we haven’t met yet are getting ready for Mass. Doggett the new prisoner is having trouble with the fact that the chapel is used by a lot of different faiths. She wants to put up a big glow-in-the-dark cross, and is mad that the chapel has to be kept nondenominational. She yells about how she’s a victim and her religious freedom is being violated and literally walks off dragging her cross to bear. Always nice to know what happened to the Santorum kids.

Salon!

Sophia is touching up Boo’s cut. Sophia’s still having trouble with not enough ladyjuice. Boo says Sophia could sue over her meds being cut off. Boo mentions that the nun gets estrogen. Hmm.

Dorm!

Mom Diaz wants Diaz to thread Mom’s eyebrows. Mom says she’ll deign to let Diaz keep score at dominoes if she does it. She gives Diaz some sweet corn to trade for thread. Nice Bennett catches Diaz and seems to be giving her guard guff, but—sneaky!—he’s actually pretending she’s not a favorite while dropping a note in her pocket.

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Diaz needs to work on acting like she’s not loopy for Bennett.

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