“Orange is the New Black” recap (1.4): Imaginary Enemies



Piper is cleaning up Crazy Eyes’ pee, because, well, yes, that’s what one does when the floor has been peed upon. Miss Claudette does not for the drama that followed her new roommate in. She also doesn’t care for the fact that Chapman can clean up the pee, but not disinfect the floor. Chapman whisperwhines that she’s never cleaned up someone else’s urine before. Miss Claudette and I say “Quite a privileged life you’ve led” at the same time.

Claudette has rules. Janae does not appreciate themImages courtesy of Netflix. Photo by Patrick Harbron

Claudette’s flashback!

Adolescent Claudette rides her first elevator in French—no, wait. In Creole? Young Baptiste is showing her around her new digs. At first it looks like maybe a weird orphanage or boarding school, but in fact, yikes, Claudette will be working for Mean Lady Tessa until she pays off her parents’ debt. Sooo… Looks like indentured servitude if we’re being delicate about it, and something a lot like slavery if we aren’t.


Tricia, the woman we’ve seen in the kitchen with the blonde cornrows, asks Claudette to make a cake for her girlfriend Mercy, who’s getting out soon. Claudette is a hard-ass about it and says she only makes cakes like that for Jesus.

Chapman comes in with a bunch of books her friends sent her. She’s advised to enjoy people sending her things while they still do. Claudette notes again that she is not a fan of clutter. Chapman puts a hustle on putting things away.

Tricia really wants a cake for Mercy and crudely offers sex for one, complete with an emphatic crotch grab. Claudette isn’t going for it. And, really, can you blame her? I’ll just note for the record that I make extremely tasty baked goods, but I prefer my offers of bribery to retain a little mystery.

Electrical shop!

Chapman and Watson are there for their new work assignment. Luschek, the electrician in charge, charmingly shouts at all the newbies and calls them “Newts.”

oitnb_Electrical Shop

Nichols is there too! (Hi, Nichols!) She’s drilling a hole in the wall with a power drill, which she says is an art project “representing the futility of blue-collar labor in a technological age. And vaginas.” I’m growing really fond of Nichols.

Chapman, who really does not have much of a learning curve for these little unspoken social rules, announces that she she should be teaching in the educational program instead of working in the electrical shop because she was a TA in college. This does not go over well. Luschek tells her to read an electrical manual and fix a lamp, already.

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