Previously on Defiance, Kenya and Stahma started playing gay chicken until they were making that sweet free-verse lady love in the bed above the Need/Want. Only, Stahma took things one teensy step too far when she used Kenya to set up Nolan so Datak could have a better chance at winning Defiance’s mayoral election. Mayor Nicky turned out to be a human-morphing Indogene who was running a long con to try to get her hands on both the Gold Kaziri, which one of the McCawley boys dug out of a mine, and the Silver Kaziri, which a cult of Castithan snake handlers had sewn up inside Irisa ages ago. So Doc Yewell killed Mayor Nicky “for the greater good” and tried to get the Silver Kaziri out of Irisa’s body, but Irisa fled into the Hellbug-infested woods and came face-to-face with Rynn, who was still pissed that Irisa’s dad shot her dad off the St. Louis arch.
Right. OK. I have watched this episode four times now, and I’m still not entirely sure what the hell happened last night, so let’s start with the facts.
Irisa is safe-ish with the Spirit Riders. The Kaziri is still inside of her, which isn’t so good, but she sure is glad when Nolan and Tommy show up to explain what the hell is going on. Like, for example, the reason she is Space Jesus, with all those visions and healing and resurrection powers and stuff, is because of the alien technology rootin’ around inside her. Rynn, for one, thinks it’s complete shtako and would feel much better about the world in general if she could just waylay Nolan and strangle the life right out of him.
The Earth Republic shows up with a torturer named Black Jonah who just loves to watch people suffer. (The Pale Wars sure did create a lot of these sociopaths, huh?) He whips out this riding crop and makes some threatening faces, so Doc Yewell agrees to help extract the Silver Kaziri from Irisa’s tiny body. Because here’s the deal with those things: Together, they can control this Votan ship that’s been hanging out down in the bottom of the McCawley mines. On the ship is a WBD that is controlled by the Gold and Silver Kaziris and it has the power to wipe out either the alien population or the human population. So no damn wonder Mayor Nicky wanted it for herself and her alien brethren and warned Amanda to never, ever, ever make a deal with the Earth Republic.
This show has done a pretty good job not sacrificing story for video game tie-in stuff, but they really struggle with it in this episode. There’s like a ten-minute third-person shooter situation between Earth Republic mercenaries on one side and Nolan, Tommy, Doc Yewell, and Irisa on the other. The end result of which is Lawkeeper Nolan getting shot to death until he’s gurgling his own blood. It’s Black Jonah who does it, which, again, is a lot more emotionally resonant if you’ve played the video game because he’s been around for a while inside there.
OK, and so over in Defiance, it’s election day and Datak is stressed the fuck out. Stahama decides to help him calm down by doing him a standing quickie in the hallway. She employees some kind of sex trick that she’s never used on him before and he’s like, “Well, that was new.” And she’s like, “Always looking for ways to make it better for you, man.” He kind of knows something weird is going on with her, because they don’t have Cosmo in dystopian 2046 so how in the world does Stahma know 146 Ways to Crunch His Cock or whatever? The answer is Kenya, obviously, but try as I might — and trust me, I’ve tried — I cannot figure out the anatomical specifics for what lesbian sex act Kenya and Stahma were doing that would have been equally pleasurable to them and to him. If anyone knows, shoot me an email. If it’s that awesome, I don’t want to be uninformed.
When Datak and Stahma show up to vote, Kenya is there voting for Amanda. She glares at them and tells Datak to keep an eye on his wife. A lightbulb goes off over Datak’s head — you’ll have to forgive him for being so slow; he’s so used to Stahma doing all his thinking for him — and he realizes she’s been chupping the town’s most prolific hooker. He whispers menacingly in Stahma’s ear about it, and for a hot second, it seems like he’s going to kill her right in that post office.