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“Defiance” recap (1.12): A second Schecter reckoning

Previously on Defiance, Kenya and Stahma started playing gay chicken until they were making that sweet free-verse lady love in the bed above the Need/Want. Only, Stahma took things one teensy step too far when she used Kenya to set up Nolan so Datak could have a better chance at winning Defiance’s mayoral election. Mayor Nicky turned out to be a human-morphing Indogene who was running a long con to try to get her hands on both the Gold Kaziri, which one of the McCawley boys dug out of a mine, and the Silver Kaziri, which a cult of Castithan snake handlers had sewn up inside Irisa ages ago. So Doc Yewell killed Mayor Nicky “for the greater good” and tried to get the Silver Kaziri out of Irisa’s body, but Irisa fled into the Hellbug-infested woods and came face-to-face with Rynn, who was still pissed that Irisa’s dad shot her dad off the St. Louis arch.

Right. OK. I have watched this episode four times now, and I’m still not entirely sure what the hell happened last night, so let’s start with the facts.

Irisa is safe-ish with the Spirit Riders. The Kaziri is still inside of her, which isn’t so good, but she sure is glad when Nolan and Tommy show up to explain what the hell is going on. Like, for example, the reason she is Space Jesus, with all those visions and healing and resurrection powers and stuff, is because of the alien technology rootin’ around inside her. Rynn, for one, thinks it’s complete shtako and would feel much better about the world in general if she could just waylay Nolan and strangle the life right out of him.

The Earth Republic shows up with a torturer named Black Jonah who just loves to watch people suffer. (The Pale Wars sure did create a lot of these sociopaths, huh?) He whips out this riding crop and makes some threatening faces, so Doc Yewell agrees to help extract the Silver Kaziri from Irisa’s tiny body. Because here’s the deal with those things: Together, they can control this Votan ship that’s been hanging out down in the bottom of the McCawley mines. On the ship is a WBD that is controlled by the Gold and Silver Kaziris and it has the power to wipe out either the alien population or the human population. So no damn wonder Mayor Nicky wanted it for herself and her alien brethren and warned Amanda to never, ever, ever make a deal with the Earth Republic.

This show has done a pretty good job not sacrificing story for video game tie-in stuff, but they really struggle with it in this episode. There’s like a ten-minute third-person shooter situation between Earth Republic mercenaries on one side and Nolan, Tommy, Doc Yewell, and Irisa on the other. The end result of which is Lawkeeper Nolan getting shot to death until he’s gurgling his own blood. It’s Black Jonah who does it, which, again, is a lot more emotionally resonant if you’ve played the video game because he’s been around for a while inside there.

OK, and so over in Defiance, it’s election day and Datak is stressed the fuck out. Stahama decides to help him calm down by doing him a standing quickie in the hallway. She employees some kind of sex trick that she’s never used on him before and he’s like, “Well, that was new.” And she’s like, “Always looking for ways to make it better for you, man.” He kind of knows something weird is going on with her, because they don’t have Cosmo in dystopian 2046 so how in the world does Stahma know 146 Ways to Crunch His Cock or whatever? The answer is Kenya, obviously, but try as I might – and trust me, I’ve tried – I cannot figure out the anatomical specifics for what lesbian sex act Kenya and Stahma were doing that would have been equally pleasurable to them and to him. If anyone knows, shoot me an email. If it’s that awesome, I don’t want to be uninformed.

When Datak and Stahma show up to vote, Kenya is there voting for Amanda. She glares at them and tells Datak to keep an eye on his wife. A lightbulb goes off over Datak’s head – you’ll have to forgive him for being so slow; he’s so used to Stahma doing all his thinking for him – and he realizes she’s been chupping the town’s most prolific hooker. He whispers menacingly in Stahma’s ear about it, and for a hot second, it seems like he’s going to kill her right in that post office.

Instead, Stahma shows up at Kenya’s a little later and tells her they’ve got to get out of town together, U-Haul it up and head on down to the beaches of Antarctica or something, because Datak knows and his charge blade is ready and they’ll both be dead before sunrise. Kenya is like, “Oh, go fuck yourself. Wait, no, are you for real? You’re inviting me to run away with you? That’s so sweet of – no, no. Wait again. You’re playing me some more. Yeah. Yeah, go fuck yourself. Or don’t? Are you being sincere or not?!” It’s the same mental meltdown any of us would have if Jaime Murray invited us into the woods after running over us with her car or something like that. Your brain says no, but your body says oh, yes.

Datak wins the mayoral election and Amanda immediately starts drinking single malt straight from the decanter. (Do you ever wonder how all that whiskey survived a nuclear fallout? I mean, if a missile were heading toward my house, my main things would be: saving my puppies, saving my Harry Potter book collection, and saving my whiskey, but that can’t be normal, can it? No, seriously, can it? If that’s your thing, call me.) Kenya stops by to console her sister and tell her how much she loves her and then she dons the most fabulous coat you have ever seen in all your days and hikes on out into the woods to meet Stahma.

Stahma: Oh, good. I was worried my habit of doing double-triple-quadruple-sextuple crossings might have frightened you away. Kenya: I mean, I don’t trust you? But my feet walked me here of their own volition, I think because of your face slash naked body. Stahma: You must be very thirsty. I find my presence often dehydrates mortals. Have a sip of what’s in this flask. Kenya: Aw, man. Poison? In the flask? How dumb do you think I am? Stahma: Dumb enough to walk your ass way the hell out into the forest with a known sociopath. Kenya: Fair enough. Well, get to stepping, lady. This is my gun and I’m going to use it to blackmail you and Datak into leaving town.

Stahma: Hey, remember when we were doing all that finger-banging? Was that extra special to you, in a poetic, true-heart kind of way, or more just like you being a regular whore? Kenya: My mouth is going to say it’s that second thing, but my face is going to say it’s the first thing. Stahma: Yeah, me too. I’d never in all my 5,000 years considered exploring a relationship outside my marriage or outside my lira. It was fucking transformative, Kenya. I’m sorry I had to kill you with the poison dust on the outside of that flask. Mia Kirshner: Are you fucking kidding me? Again? I’m playing a straight character next time, I swear to God.

I don’t really think Kenya is dead, you guys. It’s sci-fi on Syfy, but that scene was a real punch in the gut, huh? Stahma cradles Kenya and sings to her and calls her a little human! It’s horrible! It’s amazing! And not just because they’ve used this peripheral lesbian relationship to anchor the emotional punch of the entire finale. I mean, yeah, that’s cool. But It’s also amazing because Kirshner and Murray are fantastic actresses. It’s so beautiful and so wrong.

Right, so here’s where things get super crazy weird. Datak made a deal with the Earth Republic to turn the mines over to them in exchange for getting to be mayor, and about ten seconds into his first term, he realizes the Earth Republic is just using him and will never have respect for him and so he goes ahead and stabs Colonel Marsh to death with a letter opener. Stahma finds him in the office covered in blood. Her brain is working overtime to make up for the wreck caused by Datak’s latest petulant fury, but the E-Rep is literally banging on the door, so it doesn’t look like they’re long for this world/this office. He’s like, “I miss home.” And she’s like, “I could be halfway to Florida with Kenya by now godammit.”

And outside of town, Irisa refuses to believe Nolan is dead. She runs for a thousand miles and hours into the CGI maze of the McCawley mines and meets up with Irzu, who is like the bright burning messiah part of her, I think. The physical manifestation of her spiritual greatness? Irzu tells Irisa she has to do what she says from now on if she wants to resurrect Nolan. Irisa agrees and throws herself into the pit with the Votan spaceship, which somehow brings Nolan screaming back to life. He picks himself up and dusts himself up and heads back into town … which is, of course, in the throes of being taken over by the Earth Republic’s military machines.

Whhhheew. It’s a good thing Syfy already picked up Defiance for a second season ’cause that was some tricksy bamboozling they did there in the finale. The body count is either zero or one million. Irisa is either the full Space Jesus or broken into literal pieces at the bottom of the mine. Kenya is either poisoned to death or Stahma stashed her away somewhere for safekeeping and future scissoring. The Tarrs are either going to jail or entering into a last-second suicide pact. Nolan is either alive and possessed by the alien spirit of his adopted daughter or … yeah, I don’t know the alternative. Overall, it was a textured and rewarding first season of a Syfy original drama. Big BSG-type sociological and and ethical and religious questions. Plucky, badass heroines with shades of darkness in them. Plenty of homages to classic science fictions and westerns. And a fair amount of time watching Jaime Murray loll around in a bath. I really hope Kenya’s not dead.

Now, get yourself across the parking lot and get your HG Wells gear on and fix what’s going on with Myka Bering right now, Jaime Murray. She needs you.

What’d your verdict on Defiance‘s season one finale?

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