Now that Lord Voldemort has returned, I’ve been thinking about villains lately. In particular, sure, He Who Must Not Be Named is scary, but why is it that male villains are usually so unattractive? What is it about evilness that makes male villains turn into hairless, unicorn blood-drinking tyrants with no fashion sense? (See Darth Vader for another option: still hairless, but that helmet clearly makes him fashion-challenged.)
Female villains, on the other hand, tend to be uniformly hot (and sometimes uniformed). Maybe it’s because the female villain partly emerges from the long (and, dare I say it, glorious) tradition of the dominatrix: She’ll whip your ass, and she’ll look fantastic while doing it. And no, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
Without further ado, here are my top 10 female villains:
10. Jordana Brewster as Lucy Diamond in D.E.B.S.
Clad all in black and bent on world domination, Lucy Diamond doesn’t let her previously foiled plots (including an attempt to sink Australia) get her down. In D.E.B.S., she sets her sights on D.E.B.S. agent Amy (Sara Foster), and she quickly succeeds in seducing her.
Here’s a (mysteriously silent) video of Lucy smooching Amy:
9. Demi Moore as Madison Lee in Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle
All you need to know about this villainess is encapsulated in this photo:
8. Meryl Streep as Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada
Yeah, Miranda Priestly’s kind of the boss from hell, but such a stylish, successful one! OK I admit it: Despite her cruel ways, I totally admire her. I mean, look at the attitude she projects!
7. Glenn Close as Marquise Isabelle de Merteuil in Dangerous Liaisons
So scheming! So manipulative! So much cleavage! (Plus she can actually pull off that hat — no small feat!)
6. Sharon Stone as Catherine Tramell in Basic Instinct
Now some people think that Catherine Tramell was just another in a long (stereotypical) line of bisexual killers, and OK, she was. But she was also vicious and dug into that villainy like nobody’s business.
5. Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman in Batman Returns
Pfeiffer’s Catwoman was seductive and slinky, not to mention crafty — she fashioned herself that shiny vinyl catsuit out of a black raincoat, after all. I wonder where she bought her whip? Dommes R Us?
Here’s the trailer for the film with plenty of saucy Catwoman moments:
4. Kristanna Loken as T-X in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
This Arnold action-fest first introduced the world to the outspoken, openly bisexual actress Kristanna Loken, who proved that she was plenty willing and able to take on one of Hollywood’s biggest action stars by playing the deadly T-X.
Here’s the trailer for the film, with lots of T-X destruction:
3. Famke Janssen as Phoenix in X-Men: The Last Stand
I was a big fan of Janssen’s turn as Jean Grey, but things really got interesting when her seriously dark side came out as the psychotic Phoenix.
2. Hudson Leick as Callisto in Xena: Warrior Princess
Back when Xena was still evil, she torched a village named Cirra; in that village was a young girl, Callisto, who suffered an extreme case of PTSD from losing her family in that experience. As she grew up, she became a crazy psychopath bent on destroying Xena. She also got herself a particularly S/M-like outfit but balanced that with flat-heeled boots (very practical).
There’s nothing like losing your lesbian lover to make you go all black-eyed and veiny. Willow’s deep, demented descent into the dark side was both heartbreaking and breathtaking. And in the midst of all the pain that drove her to despair, Hannigan even made it seem like Willow was having some fun with it.
Here’s a fanvid of Willow’s evillest moments:
So that’s my list! Who did I leave out? (I know, I didn’t include Evil Xena — go ahead, tell me why I should have!)