Best. Lesbian. Summer. Ever.

It’s officially summer. That means there’s not much on TV except reality shows (unless you have pay cable, and how many lesbians have that?), and the megaplexes are chock full of testosterone-heavy blockbusters. But forget about the heterosexual cultural majority! There’s plenty of dykey entertainment out there that you can put together to make this the Best. Lesbian. Summer. Ever.

Plus, if you’re an adrenaline junkie, check the UV Index rating for the hotness factor. Just don’t forget the sunscreen.

OOPS, I SWEAR I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS LOADED!
In classic film noir of the 1940s, summer in seedy Los Angeles is rife with sex, crime and double-crossing vixens. But not many lesbians. Which is just wrong because, let’s face it, really good sex with double-crossing vixens has driven more than one lesbian to a life of crime, right?

Proving that you don’t need a fedora or a Pall Mall to recapture the noir spirit, writer-director Angela Robinson (D.E.B.S.) has created her own criminal world in the online series Girltrash, which is positively teeming with lesbians with axes to grind, heists to execute and other people’s wives to conquer. Oh, and did I mention the snappy, hilarious dialogue?

The 3-minute webisodes are atmospheric, funny and compelling — which is more than I can say for most of the feature-length blockbusters we have to choose from this summer. To date, there are four webisodes online — the latest one featuring AfterEllen.com favorite Maeve Quinlan as a closeted lesbian judge — and future installments feature more South of Nowhere women (Gabrielle Christian and Mandy Musgrave), plus Amber Benson (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Rose Rollins (The L Word), Margaret Cho and others.

Below is a brief preview of the upcoming Christian/Musgrave webisode:

UV Index: 10

CLEARLY, EVERYBODY’S IN A GOOD MOOD WHEN THEY’RE DATING LEISHA HAILEY

Need a flirty soundtrack for your summer fling? Try out k.d. lang’s Invincible Summer. Released in 2000, lang’s 10th CD is an ode to romance: an easy, breezy, beautiful collection of the musings of a woman in love (with Leisha Hailey at the time). Compared to the multilayered orchestral maneuvers of the Beach Boys and the easy crooning of Burt Bacharach, lang’s Summer mixes surf pop, folk, disco and funk with strings, pedal steel guitar and synthesizers. It’s a spectacular amalgamation of joy — kind of like falling in love.

And if all of this isn’t enough to convince you to give it a spin, note that Wendy "Yes, Lisa" Melvoin (of Prince and the Revolution/Wendy and Lisa fame) plays guitar throughout.

The clip below of the song "Summerfling" will make you long for the good ol’ days when Leisha was k.d.’s muse.

UV Index: 4

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