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Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (June 22, 2007)

WE DON’T NEED ANOTHER HERO (UNLESS, OF COURSE, SHE’S A LESBIAN CHEERLEADER)

Last month, Malinda blogged about the new teen lesbian cheerleader character who would be joining the cast of Heroes in its second season. She was good enough to even make a few casting recommendations for the part (I too was hoping for Mandy Musgrave, but only if she could still keep up with her homework over at South of Nowhere.) Alas, NBC totally went around Malinda and announced this week that the role will be played by Lyndsy Fonseca. You may know her from the HBO polygamy drama Big Love or her appearances on CSI, House M.D. and The Young and the Restless. Fonsenca’s character, April, is described by The Hollywood Reporter as “beautiful” and “sweet.”

In related news, the hateful, blackmailing lesbian cheerleader from Veronica Mars has just announced plans to kick April’s ass in the locker room after school today.

BEST. REALITY TV SHOW. EVER.

Automatically zoom past all of those lame reality dating shows (The Bachelor, Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire, Who Wants to Marry My Dad, Beauty and the Geek – well, I kinda like that one) because you just can’t relate? Well, get prepared to spend some quality time with your TiVo. Casting has begun for a new reality series, Venus Envy (working title), which aims to couple some lucky lesbian with a “fresh out of the closet Maxim model.”

The casting notice reads as follows:

Seeking gorgeous lesbians 21 years and older for an outrageous new series. Finally meet a girl who’s not your ex’s ex!! We’re casting now, and in order to be considered, you need to convince us that you’ve got what it takes. This will be an outrageous summer romantic adventure set in a spectacular mansion in Hollywood. Prepare to live, love, laugh, party and be part of a defining moment in television history for our community … I mean really, can you plan a better summer than this? You’re moving in for up to 6 weeks but leave the U-Haul behind. Are you rad enough to win the heart of our super model? Prove it!
Where do I – I mean you – sign up? Go to the official website, www.venusenvycasting.com, and tell them all about how gorgeous and, most importantly, rad you really are. And while you’re at it, you’ll also need to tell them about your friends, your clubbing habits, your “wildest” date, your tattoos and your history with restraining orders – all while listening to the subtle strains of that tender paean to true romance, “Love to Love You, Baby.”

Meanwhile, I’m going to try to expose (heh) the secret identity of the “fresh out of the closet” model in question. If she looks anything like the already out model Amanda Moore, then I predict a stampede of applicants.

ONLY IN HOLLYWOOD WOULD A JENNY SCHECTER WARRANT A PERSONAL ASSISTANT The first casting news for the next season of The L Word has been released; and Malaya Rivera Drew has been cast as the assistant to Jenny Schecter. Not much is known yet about Malaya – there’s very little information about her online since her biggest role to date was a recurring role on ER – but we’re sure that will change as the new season draws near. We hope she knows what she’s getting into. Lesbian fans can be obsessive extremely dedicated.

LINDSAY LOHAN WOULD HAVE MADE ONE FOR US TOO, BUT SHE’S BUSY NOW WITH ARTS AND CRAFTS Supercute pop songstress Hilary Duff, who is out promoting her new single “Stranger” from her Dignity CD, has just passed all of you AfterEllen.com readers a sweet video love note. We’re not sure why she sent it, but we like it! Maybe she has a girl crush on us, or is angling to make our Hot List next year. Hey, after watching her “Stranger” video (hello, bellydancing!), I’d vote for her! Hey, she came onto us, OK? (Go here to watch the video for “Stranger.”)

I’D TRY OUT, BUT ONLY IF MY SUPER POWERS COULD BE CASTING FOR CURL GIRLS AND WRITING FOR THE L WORD

Speaking of reality, there’s an out lesbian contestant on the series Who Wants To Be a Superhero. Haven’t heard of it? Here’s how it works: Contestants must come up with an identity, a costume and

“their best superhero mojo” and present all to comic book legend Stan Lee. Lee chooses 11 finalists who move into a “secret lair” (no, I’m not making this up; it’s directly from the Superhero website) where their super skills are put to the test. This season, out lesbian Paula Thomas, aka Whip-Snap, is in the running. According to realitytv.com, Whip-Snap

“has a mastery of the whip and if her bare skin touches a villain that villain is turned into sand.”

Yowza! I like the sound of Whip-Snap! Especially if she looks anything like this Hallecat: Then I suspect that we will all be lining up to apply for Who Wants To Be a Super Villain in record time!

No photos of the Season 2 contestants are available just yet, so we may have to wait for the premiere of Season 2 (Thursday, July 26 at 9 p.m. ET/PT on the Sci Fi Channel) to get a good look at Whip-Snap. Unless of course you can time-travel, in which case you should check her out now and then come back and tell us what you think.

KYRA SEDGWICK ON JODIE FOSTER AND SALMA HAYEK. NOT LITERALLY. (NOT YET, ANYWAY.) In last week’s BLWE, ScribeGrrrl reported that The Closer star Kyra Sedgwick was waxing poetic in her appearance on Inside the Actor’s Studio about having done some Mirren-macking (Helen, that is, in Losing Chase). Well, it seems that Ms. Sedgwick still can’t get enough of our love. In the current issue of The Advocate, the self-described “friend of the gays” talks about her best lesbian pal, Valerie (who seems to have read our “Lesbian Fashion Accessories” article, particularly item No. 8), and the female celebrities she’d most like to hook up with on-screen. Sedgwick says: “Jodie Foster. She totally does it for me. I think she’s so amazing. And Salma Hayek. That would be really hot.”

Yes, Kyra, it would. And if you truly are a “friend of the gays,” you will make this happen. Stat.

AND BY “REALISTIC” THEY MEAN NOT LIKE REALITY TV This week the the American Women in Radio and Television presented their Gracie Allen Awards. AWRT promotes “programming created for, by and about women, as well as individuals who have made exemplary contributions to the industry,” and the Gracies are given to “encourage the realistic and faceted portrayal of women in entertainment, commercials, news, features and other programs.”

Out finance guru Suze Orman and tennis legend Billie Jean King were honored: As were comedian Wanda Sykes and journalist Linda Ellerbee: What, no love for the The Real Housewives of Orange County?

IT’S LIKE THE AFTERELLEN.COM HOT LIST, BUT WITH MORE CLOTHING

POWER UP (the lesbian entertainment film organization that brought you the current LGBT festival favorite Itty Bitty Titty Committee), announced the honorees for this year’s 10 Amazing Gay Women in Showbiz. These are the women who are “working, creating and changing lives as they continue their way up the ladder of success.”

Last year, AfterEllen.com editor-in-chief Sarah Warn was among those honored, and this year the honorees are Lisa Cholodenko (writer/director – High Art, Laurel Canyon, episodes of Six Feet Under and The L Word), Cherien Dabis (writer/co-producer of The L Word), Tanya Grubich (president/founder of MyBroadway.com and TMG), Lori Kaye (writer/producer/director – Work Out, Curl Girls), Danielle Knight (Vice President, Legal Affairs, Warner Bros. Television), Amy M. Lesser (founder and editor-in-chief of GO Magazine), Jennifer Morris (Director of Programming, Frameline), Jenni Olson (director of e-commerce at WolfeVideo.com), Michelle Paradise (co-creator, executive producer, writer, and star of upcoming Logo original series Exes & Oh’s) and Lynn Whitney (Senior Vice President, Worldwide Media Advertising, Warner Bros. Pictures and Warner Home Video).

Here are photos of some of the honorees:

Michelle Paradise (left) with Exes & Oh’s co-star Marnie Alton: (left to right) Tanya Grubich, Cherien Dabis and Lori Kaye: The ceremony will be held at the swanky Beverly Hills Hotel again this year on Nov. 11. Go to the POWER UP website for tickets and more information.

SO TWO CATS WALK INTO A HOME DEPOT …

Comic Sabrina Matthews (Laughing Matters … More!), the out lesbian contestant on NBC’s reality comedy competition Last Comic Standing, has made it through another round of eliminations this week to get to the semifinals.

Here’s a clip from her latest performance: Yep, we lesbians can never get enough of our cat jokes!

Last year, out comic Michelle Balan made it to the final round before being eliminated.

WHO SAYS LESBIANS DON’T LIKE TO PLAY WITH DOLLS?

The Dresden Dolls are just one of several bands earning droves of new fans as they blaze across the country on the True Colors Tour this summer. The tour, created by headliner Cyndi Lauper, benefits the Human Rights Campaign (the national gay and lesbian advocacy organization) and features Erasure, Blondie, the Gossip (whose lead singer, Beth Ditto, is an out lesbian), Lauper and the Dresden Dolls.

Openly bisexual singer Amanda Palmer and fellow Doll Brian Viglione are known for their eccentric performances and enthusiastic promotion of sexual freedom. In a recent interview with the blog Lone Star Verve, Palmer proclaimed, “The Dresden Dolls have always waved the giant flag of expressionism and individualism. We’ve always been very clear that we’re a trans-friendly, gay-friendly, freak-loving band.”

For more info on the Dresden Dolls, watch this candid new video interview with Amanda, who talks about the joys of music, fashion and being mistaken for a man: LESBIAN QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

“I got to tell you, I’ve been hanging around with those heteros for a full year and it’s not fun. Turn around one minute and they’ll stab you in the back with a high heel. They will.” – Rosie O’Donnell, Sunday night at the Columbia, Md., stop of the True Colors tour

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!

The charming and composed Coral Smith of MTV’s The Real World: Back to New York fame came out as a lesbian in an interview with Outlook Magazine this week. Check out ScribeGrrrl’s blog for the whole story.

Out lesbian contestant Sandee Birdsong packed up her knives and went home this week on Bravo’s Top Chef. Read the AfterEllen.com interview with her here.

The 2007 Golden Crown Literary Awards (aka the “Goldies”), honoring the best in lesbian writing, were handed out this week. For a complete list of the winners, go to the Golden Crown website.

Following our stellar example, our brother site AfterElton.com is taking votes for it’s own Hot 100 list – this one dedicated to the men who gay men think are hot. So tell all of your gay guy friends to go weigh in. (And you and your girlfriends should stay out of it! Just as we didn’t want men voting on our list, they don’t want women voting on theirs.)

Former lesbian Venus magazine publisher-turned-ex-gay Christian Charlene Cothran took her “you can be saved from homosexuality” message to TV yesterday as a guest on Pat Robertson’s The 700 Club. Read all about it on the excellent gay news blog GoodAsYou.org.

Battlestar Galactica geeks fans rejoice! The BSG powers that be have announced that the upcoming television movie based on the show will include (SPOILER WARNING) references to a past lesbian romance between hard-assed Admiral Helena Cain (Michelle Forbes) and slinky cylon Number Six (Tricia Helfer). Secret love? This explains the relentless torture of Six at Cain’s hands in Season 2. Oh, now I get it. Cain and Six are the Tracy and Hepburn of the 12 Colonies! Read more about it on Malinda’s blog.

A reader (thanks solesister!) told us that BBC Radio held a contest in which the prize was full payment for the wedding of one lucky couple. Listeners met the couples and cast their votes. The winners? A lesbian couple getting married at Glastonbury today, and theirs will be the the first lesbian wedding to air live on U.K. radio. To listen online, go to www.bbc.co.uk.

As Malinda reported in her blog, the new South of Nowhere promo for Season 3 aired this week. Boys kissing girls, girls kissing girls, girls kissing girls we’ve never seen before – hey! Who’s that girl?

That’s it for this week! Check back next Friday for another edition of Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever.

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