“Bad Girls” Recaps: Episode 2.08 “Babes Behind Bars”

THIS WEEK’S RAP SHEET:

The ringleader: Yvonne keeps everyone hanging on the telephone.
The rebel: Barbara feels Zandra’s pain.
The romantic: Josh woos Crystal.

Chatting up — Near the rubbish bins outside the servery, Josh and Crystal are flirting again. I like Crystal just fine, but Josh is fawning and overeager, and he seems to have fallen in love with Crystal without knowing her at all. Fine, fine: Helen did pretty much the same thing with Nikki. But that’s different, because I like them.

Dominic spies the young lovers and their sly smiles and asks them what’s up. Josh offers a lame excuse about a sticky wheel on one of the Dumpsters, so Dominic offers a sly smile of his own and gives them two minutes. Dom, you’re such a softie.

Crystal (that’s "Crys" to Josh) is glad Dom’s back from holiday, because he’s the only screw who really cares about Zandra. Josh agrees and adds that maybe now Crystal can stop looking after Zandra so much. This, like so many things in an average day, sets Crystal off:

Josh: You’re gettin’ out on Friday, and she’s not. You’re gonna have to start to let go.
Crystal: Yeah, well if that’s what you think, maybe you’d better let go of me.

She stomps off in a haze of holiness.

Speaking of the screw who cares — Dom goes to see Zandra. She tells him about her visit to the hospital. Denny adds some colorful commentary, telling him about all the wires and pins they stuck into Zandra. Den, you weren’t even there! But it’s nice of you to encourage this flirty stuff between Dom and Zan. It’s making Dominic uncomfortable, though, so he pretends to be optimistic about Zandra’s health and shuffles out. Right on cue, Zandra grabs her head in pain.

The gov’s office — Karen is ready to put Shell back on the wing. Shell doesn’t care about that; she’s more worried about her kids. Karen’s way ahead of her there: She wants to bring Shell’s mother in to discuss the kid situation. Shell’s eyes are rimmed in red, and she’s hopping mad at her mum for turning a blind eye to the activities of her abusive husband while Shell was growing up.

Shell: I could kill her for it now.
Karen: Could we not talk about killing people?

The wing governor job seems to attract the dry-witted ones, doesn’t it?

Shell begs Karen not to say anything to anyone else about her past. Karen assures Shell she can trust her. Uh-oh. Shell’s been told that before.

The eye of the beholder — Yvonne is looking at porn. OK, no, she’s not; but wouldn’t that be a fun episode? She’s really looking at the phone sex ads on the back of a newspaper. And then she gets up to look at herself in the mirror — which gives her an idea. Hmm, thinks Yvonne, look how gorgeous I am. Wait. Gorgeous? Sex? Phone sex?

You can tell the wheels are turning in her brain because the background music is suddenly all thinky. Nothing says "cerebral" like a marimba. Or is that a xylophone? A vibraphone? It’s not a glockenspiel.

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