Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (May 4, 2007)

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LESBIAN KISSES ON TV? IT MUST BE SWEEPS WEEK!

This week saw the beginning of May sweeps, a period which traditionally features

a flurry of exploitive lesbian kisses (and occasionally some decent ones), and

this year is no exception. Veronica Mars (CW) kicked things off with

a silly story line about two women who locked a guy who was secretly dating both

of them in a vending machine room, and then taunted him by kissing each other

in the elevator as they left. Because lesbianism is all about kissing for men.

Then ER (NBC) jumped into the fray by running a promo for last night’s

episode that showed an enthusiastic Asian-American intern declaring her admiration

for Neela (Bend it Like Beckham‘s Parminder Nagra) by kissing her in

the bathroom at a wedding. Hey, I’m all for Nagra playing a lesbian role

— what Beckham fan isn’t? — but a random kiss drummed up by the promo

department doesn’t exactly qualify.

What’s next, Pam and Angela getting drunk and playing spin the bottle on The

Office
? Izzie coming down with a mysterious disease that temporarily makes

her attracted to women on Grey’s Anatomy? Actually, that last idea’s

not half bad …

HILLARY, OBAMA, AND … ROSIE?

No,

Rosie O’Donnell hasn’t entered the 2008 presidential race as the candidate for

the Lesbian Party (although I’d probably enjoy the televised presidential debates

more if she did); she has been named as one of Time‘s 100 most influential people in the world. Here’s what Barbara Walters

had to say about her in Time (along with the illustration

Time ran with the piece):

When Rosie O’Donnell was 10, she lost her mother. I don’t think she ever

got over it. It made her both independent and vulnerable, sensitive and outspoken.

She loves Barbra Streisand, Broadway shows, her partner Kelli, their four

young children, anyone’s babies … and feuds. Not necessarily in that order.

She hates what she considers injustice, snobby people, most of the current

Administration, and chances are she will never live in a Trump building.

She is enormously charitable. She has two foundations: Rosie’s Broadway Kids

and the For All Kids Foundation. She gives unsparingly to returning veterans’

causes and hospitals. And she visits them.

A year ago, I went to a screening of the HBO documentary All Aboard!: Rosie’s

Family Cruise. It followed a cruise that Rosie and Kelli had inaugurated.

It was funny, touching and—I guess to some—unsettling. That night,

inspired by her documentary, I asked Rosie if she would consider joining us

on The View. And so, last September, we began a thrilling roller-coaster ride.

We followed Rosie’s passion and compassion, her feuds and fearlessness, her

humanity and humor. When Rosie and ABC couldn’t come to an agreement for her

to return to the program next fall, it was for me a plunge on the roller coaster.

But we remain respectful and affectionate friends.

Rosie, 45, is a fine actress, a great storyteller and a woman of conviction.

Her opinions are heartfelt, passionate and often abrasive. Her views are not

necessarily my views, but in her heart, she dearly hopes to be a force for

good, a voice for people like her who are vulnerable and perhaps neglected.

Her mother would be proud.

A classy tribute. The 28 other women on the list include Hillary Clinton, Queen

Elizabeth, Oprah Winfrey, Tyra Banks, Cate Blanchett, America Ferrera, Tina

Fey (excellent!) and Kate Moss (?!), among others. Barack Obama made the cut

as one of the 71 men on the list, but George W. Bush is noticeably absent.

I’m

no Kate Moss hater, but isn’t it a sad day when a washed-up model with a drug problem

is considered more influential than the president of the United States? I’m

just saying.

WHEN REGINA MET CARLA

I mentioned in my column back in January ’06

that Rebecca Budig — aka All My Children‘s Greenlee — was going to

play a lesbian on Out of Practice,

last season’s CBS sitcom about a family of doctors that included Paula Marshall

as a lesbian ER doc. Unfortunately, the show was canceled before that episode

aired.

Why was this show canceled again? The writing started off rocky, but definitely

got better as the season progressed — and the show starred Stockard Channing,

people! (For more of her,

check out Scribe Grrrl’s blog

post about Stockard from earlier this week.) It also featured one of the

best lesbian characters we’ve had on TV in a long time — oh wait, I think I

just answered my own question. This is network TV: no smart, sarcastic single-and-dating

lesbians allowed.

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