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Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. (April 27, 2007)

LAURA DERN TAKES ONE FOR OUR TEAM Last Monday, actress Laura Dern recounted on Ellen DeGeneres’ talk show how she couldn’t get an acting job for more than a year after appearing on the famous “Puppy Episode” on Ellen in 1997, when Ellen’s sitcom character came out. “There was certainly backlash, I guess, [that] we all felt from it,” she told Ellen, who said she was sorry and “had no idea” that Dern was snubbed in Hollywood.

Dern added that not getting work felt “awfully terrifying,” but she is grateful she had the “extraordinary experience and opportunity” to be a part of the groundbreaking episode. A class act, that Laura.

In honor of the 10th anniversary of Ellen’s coming-out episode, Oxygen is airing an Ellen marathon on Monday (April 30th) beginning at 8 a.m. EST/PST.

LESBIANISM IN A VAMPIRE MOVIE? WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT! Lucy Liu (Kill Bill, Charlie’s Angels) and Carla Gugino (Entourage, Threshold) have a romantic encounter in the upcoming trashtastic-looking vampire movie Rise: Blood Hunter, which is described on IMDb as a “supernatural thriller in which a female reporter [Liu] wakes up in a morgue to find herself a member of the undead. She vows revenge against the sect that put her there and hunts them down.”

Somehow hunting them down involves sleeping with Carla, who is a fellow member of the undead. That’s showing ’em, Lucy!

A TALE OF TWO TV SHOWS Wondering how the new queerish sci-fi TV shows Painkiller Jane and Blood Ties are doing? The NY Post calls Blood Ties, which is based on a series of novels written by out lesbian Tanya Huff, “the ultimate in guilty-pleasure TV,” and I have to agree. I did a marathon viewing this week to catch up, and there were a few questionable episodes (the one about the stuffed animal turning into a monster was a low point), but the writers really seem to be on an upswing in the last few. The dialogue is getting snappier by the week, and the tone is getting darker and funnier at the same time.

I also love that Vicki (who is bisexual, although that won’t be explored until later, possibly even next season) spends half the time with her hair pulled back in a ponytail. With the exception of Grey’s Anatomy and My Boys – two of my favorite shows, and both created by women, I might add – you almost never see that on TV, because it’s not considered sexy by prevailing straight-male standards of sexiness.

But I beg to differ. A ponytail, turtleneck and glasses can be sexy as hell on the right person, especially when paired with a leather jacket. And Christina Cox is definitely the right person:

I’m also enjoying Vicki’s assistant/sidekick, whom I call Goth Girl. She’s got a totally different look working for her:

No ratings info is available for Blood Ties, but overall, Lifetime’s ratings are on the upswing. The show’s future is still in jeopardy, though, at least in the U.S. Although Canada’s City TV ordered 22 episodes of the series (to premiere in August), Lifetime only bought the rights to air the first 13 episodes and didn’t mention the series when they presented their 2007 programming slate to ad buyers this week.

But there’s good news for those of you who live overseas: the show is scheduled to start airing on the Living channel in the U.K. this summer, and it has been sold to France, Germany and Israel, according to a Blood Ties fan site.

Sci Fi channel’s Painkiller Jane, on the other hand – which stars out bisexual actress Kristanna Loken – started off OK, but is fading fast. Ratings for the second episode were down 26 percent from the premiere, and worse, the quality of the show is down, too, with a silly story line in Episode 2 about a kid who uses mind control to create his own army of dead soldiers. Loken’s acting is fine, but the dialogue is fairly clunky and heavy-handed, from Jane’s ponderous voice-overs to sidekick Maureen randomly blurting out during a meeting that she likes football players – the writers’ not-so-subtle attempt to let us know she’s heterosexual (in the comic, Maureen and Jane were romantically involved, but both characters are straight on the show).

On the plus side, it’s much easier – and a lot more fun – for Karman to recap the show when it’s suckier.

Will I keep watching it? Yeah, probably, at least for a few more episodes, in the hopes that it’ll turn around. The eye candy doesn’t hurt, either. Look for a new episode tonight at 10 p.m. on the Sci Fi channel.

SOS FOR SON? An AfterEllen.com reader named popcrash who reportedly wrote for South of Nowhere last season posted a comment on one of our articles last week that included this info:

The reason the affection between the girls was dialed back comes directly from the network and [series creator] Tommy Lynch. They would only let us go so far with it. Yes, there was a double standard in terms of what could be shown between straight couples and gay couples. But when we pointed it out, we were over-ruled. The network’s Standards and practices dept. will only allow so much on a network that is specifically geared to 14 to 18 year old girls. Any other audience is gravy for them. And, honestly, the show was never intended to be a “gay show.” We just got lucky that the Spashley storyline resonated so well with viewers.
The reader went on to add that the show’s openly gay showrunner, Nancylee Myatt (who guested on last week’s episode of She Said What? and made our Top 13 Lesbians in Hollywood list earlier this year), “was not asked back to the show for 3rd season, as the network told her they wanted to ‘open up’ the show. Which translates to not as much gay content – and someone there who was fighting for it.”

The show’s creator, Tom Lynch, apparently responded to the comments a few days later to a fan through his MySpace account (it was then posted it on spashley.com), stating: “I think whoever wrote that, that most of it comes from a true place. The few sentences that made you upset are only their opinion. The showrunner Nancylee was not brought back for Season 3, but not for any of the reasons that they said. And with her not being present and working on the show, does not mean that there will be ‘less gay content.'”

Lynch went on to add:

We ask that you watch the show when it comes back. We hope you will love where the show is going. Don’t give up on it. It is, and always will be Spencer and Ashley’s show. They are the stars. And their relationships and sexuality will always be present. We want our show to be authentic, but you can’t do or say or show the same things that “The L Word” does. But we hope that The N and it’s audience (you), enjoy the message, acting, storylines, etc. of this show on The N.
Hmmmm. I was able to confirm with Nancylee Myatt that she’s not coming back next season, but she wouldn’t comment on the other issues raised by popcrash.

While it’s not clear yet whether there’s going to be “less gay content” next season, it looks that way to me. Nancylee’s departure isn’t exactly a great sign, and from the comments made by everyone involved so far (Lynch, Mandy Musgrave and Gabrielle Christian at the GLAAD Awards, popcrash’s comment and Tom’s response to it), my best guess is that Spencer will stay gay and possibly have another love interest, and Ashley will get back together with Aiden or otherwise explore her (bi)sexuality. But I don’t know this for a fact – I haven’t seen any scripts, or talked to any of the writers – so we’ll just have to wait and see what happens in October.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with breaking up the two girls – breakups and makeups are the hallmark of good TV drama, and exploring a character’s bisexuality can be a good thing, too. But it depends on the reasons behind it, and how it’s handled — and de-gaying a show is another matter altogether, especially if it’s done to appease network concerns. Choosing to focus more on the “straight” storylines also threatens the show’s success, in my opinion: The relationship between Spencer and Ashley has provided some of the show’s best moments and is one of the things that sets South of Nowhere apart from all the other teen shows out there.

Still, I’ll reserve judgment until I see the final product in the fall. If Spencer must date someone new, I vote for Madison, just to shake things up. I’ve always wanted to see those two brushing each other’s hair …

WONDER LESBIAN POWERS, ACTIVATE! An AfterEllen.com reader (thanks Bernard!) tipped me off that “two lesbian superheroines of Marvel Comics will be the lead characters in their own mini-series this summer. It’s part of the sci-fi stories called ‘Annihilation: Conquest,’ to be released this summer. An alien superheroine, named Phyla Mar-vell, will take up the mantle of the late superhero, Quasar. She’s joined by her girlfriend, Moondragon, an Earthling superheroine with psychic powers. Their comic will be called ‘Annihilation: Conquest, Quasar.'”

The comic series kicks off in June with a prologue; here’s a sneak preview of the superhero and her girlfriend: Speaking of lesbian superheroes, I blogged Wednesday about a cool online tool that lets you create your own superhero, with the ability to customize details down to her necklace, boot laces and animal sidekick. I invited you all to post your own creations, and did you ever! (102 comments and counting!) Here are a few of my favorites – the first from blackheart and han, respectively:

Here’s two more, from Katty and Becky C:

Fael “uses Flora and Fauna in her battle against evil forces,” and Liberty Dyke has a tongue that is “feared by the forces of stupidity and meanness, and beloved of grrls everywhere.” Hee.

ROSIE’S LEAVING THE VIEW. IN RELATED NEWS, THE NUMBER OF LESBIANS ON NETWORK TV WILL DECLINE BY 50%. If you somehow missed the media frenzy earlier this week, Rosie O’Donnell is leaving The View when her contract expires in June. Scribe Grrrl already blogged about the announcement and the media’s take on the whole thing; I’ll just add that as controversial as her short reign on the show has been, Rosie brought some much-needed edge to The View and to network TV in general, where people tend to play it all too safe these days. When Barbara Walters and company are looking for her replacement, I hope they’ll consider another out outspoken lesbian – maybe Judy Gold? Of course, they’d have to bleep out every other word she said, so maybe she wouldn’t work – but it would give Donald Trump something else to complain about!

YOU TAKE THE GOOD, YOU TAKE THE BAD … The Big Gay Sketch Show premiered this week, and judging by your comments on our review, y’all didn’t love it. My initial reaction to the show was mixed, too, as I mentioned in my column a few weeks ago. But trust me when I say it gets better starting with the next episode, with skits like “Lesbian Speed Dating.” I snagged a teaser of the first half of it, so you can check it out for yourself. The concept isn’t original, but it’s written in a fresh way, and Julie Goldman and Kate McKinnon (the show’s two out female cast members) are very funny: Catch the second half of “Lesbian Speed Dating,” and a funny Facts of Life skit (Jo and Blair, finally united!), when the episode airs next Tuesday on Logo (or download it from iTunes).

SHE SAID WHAT? Jane Lynch guests in the last episode we filmed at Dinah. Need I say more? Maureen McCormick (Marcia from The Brady Bunch) reveals in her upcoming autobiography that she had a crush on Eve Plumb (Jan).

Although Bravo initially ordered only six episodes of Work Out, they quietly extended the order to eight episodes, so this week was not the season finale, after all. Look for two more episodes and a “reunion” episode on May 15th.

That’s it for this week! Check back next Friday for a new edition of Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever.

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