Previously on Chicago Fire, Casey and Severide screamed “we were on a break” at each other for half an hour because Severide thinks Casey diddled the girl from the copy shop. Mills is trying to become the youngest candidate ever to make to Severide’s team of extraordinary gentlemen who are neither that extraordinary nor gentlemanly. Oh and something else, happened. Hmm, can you help me remember? Oh yeah. Severide said he’d have a baby with Shay. When having a baby seems a bit pricey she thinks about riding the Severide express until Papa Shay swoops in with the cash to get his little girl knocked up. Now who said her parents never gave her anything?
Severide wanders into Central Perk where Casey is tying his shoes and pretending not to see Severide. They do that thing where they look at each other from underneath their brows and try to time it so they look when the other is looking away. Shay bounces in like she’s got a song in her heart and is ready to have a baby in her belly. She’s a couple of animated birds away from being Amy Adams in Enchanted. She plops down on the bench sideways and starts telling Severide about how she got her hormone levels checked and is feeling great, no side-effects whatsoever except for her entire body vibrating like a hummingbird’s wings. She overwhelms him with talk about clinics and duties and then she waves some ovulation pee sticks in his face before she pops up and walks away, high on the thought of her impending morning sickness, bloating, and soul crushing fatigue. Oh, to be someone who has never been pregnant and doesn’t have a fucking clue. Sigh. Paramedic Candidate Tara Little is trying to bribe her way into everyone’s good graces with a mid-west sized barrel of caramel corn. Otis is nearly as psyched on the corn as he is on the new girl. He tries to make nice with her until Severide walks in and he knows he’s lost. Sorry Otis, I’m as gay as they come but Severide wins every time. He’s just that pretty. They all thank her for the food and she notes that she’s not above bribing people to get what she wants. Foreshadowing alert!
Before they can learn any more fascinating information about her they are called out to an industrial accident. Someone drove a forklift into a stack of stuff and it fell crushing a guy’s legs. Look away, it’s gross. Dawson and new girl check out the crushed guy. Dawson has already noticed the guy’s fingernails are showing that he’s in shock, insert obligatory reference to lesbians and their penchant for noticing fingernail length. Casey and Severide bicker about the best way to get the guy’s legs out from under a heavy beam. Severide hates to lose an argument so he just does things his way. It really is shocking that he’s still single. Cowboy Severide starts to cut the beam with a torch while Dudley Do-Right discovers that there is flammable liquid leaking all over and then everything goes boom. Mills, quick thinking lad that he is, grabs another beam to help lift the weight off of the crushed guy. Tara almost loses her lunch looking at the guy’s mangled legs. Dawson calms her down and they get the guy out of there. Severide congratulates Mills on his quick thinking. Mills’ Truck counterparts roll their eyes like teenage girls and when they are done packing up they leave Mills behind. Mills doesn’t notice because he and Severide on their third date, talking about what torches are the best, and which are the hottest. I’m not even kidding with that homoerotic chatter. But then his truck leaves and Severide laughs at him and it kills the moment. When he gets dropped off by the Squad truck Otis is waiting with a mop, a bucket, and instructions for Mills to clean the bathroom. On the job hazing, what could go wrong? Tara starts talking to Severide as soon as he enters the station like one of those sales people who ambushes you with their helpful questions and won’t take “I’m just here for a corkscrew” for an answer. She tries to get his attention with a friend they have in common. Girl, dropping the name of some chick he had sex with one time isn’t going to jog this genius’ memory. He’s going to need dates, times, and a catalog number for the tape of the encounter. He’s foggy on the whole thing and she’s nipping at his heels and bringing him his slippers and finally she stands up on her back legs and twirls in a circle. He’s unimpressed because, well did you see Renee Royce? Yeah. So come back another time blondie. Chicks who are competent are much hotter than chicks who can’t get shit done. Dawson and Otis are sitting around looking at a picture of Dawson’s grandparents in a photo taken in Madrid. They are standing in front of an intricate wooden door at the restaurant where her grandfather proposed. Dawson is angling to put a similar door in Molly’s. Otis doesn’t want to do anything without Herrmann who is hunting in the wilds of Canada. Dawson is like, dude if we want to do something now is the time before Herrmann loses his mind about cost. Casey chimes in because it’s none of his business and tells Dawson that he knows a place where ain’t nobody crying… er…paying full price. He knows a place, and he’ll take her there to pick out a door. In the middle of Casey trying to woo Dawson with the promise of moderately priced, salvaged, building materials Mills shows up with his janitor’s bucket and Casey waves him back to the shower to continue his penance. I mean, god, it’s not bad enough that Mills is dating Dawson but now he’s romancing Severide, too. Casey has a breaking point and this is it. The paramedics get called out and while they are gone Mills tries to talk to Casey. He says he’s sorry and Casey wants Mills to do his job on Truck until he moves. Basically it’s a lot of macho posturing and sniffing each other’s butts. The paramedic trio is off to pull a guy out of garage door because he got his arm stuck in it and it hoisted him to the ceiling. My wife took one look and said “this show is gross” and yeah, she did a trauma surgery rotation in med school so she’s seen a thing or two. Tara is useless and freezes, again, while Shay and Dawson bring the badass. They save the guy and his arm. Hooray! At the hospital Shay asks Dawson if Tara is off crying in a corner somewhere because smart mouth Shay is the best Shay. We missed you, please don’t ever leave us again. She gives Dawson crap for going shopping for fixtures with Casey after work. Dawson says she’s just glad things are back to normal with Mr. Fix-it and Shay cackles and says “Normal? As in mean buried romantic feelings and unspoken sexual tension?” Dawson shoves her playfully because we all know Shay’s talking about them. Shay tells Dawson that she heard that Hallie is off finding herself in South America, as medical residents ALWAYS do in the middle of residency. Dawson shrugs and says “I’ve got my man,” and we think yeah, that dude with the mop is a keeper. Shay gets hormone jacked and starts yelling at an orderly who has the audacity to touch their gurney. Yep, the hormone are working out just fine. Tara pops in from god knows where with a couple of cups of coffee to make up for being a shitty paramedic.
Back at the fire house Mills is emptying garbage cans until Severide calls him over to the leather recliner Severide has set up like a throne. They talk some more about torches and what their best uses are and the Squad boys and Otis give Mills the side eye because they want to be Severide’s favorite. Otis starts bitching about why Mills is sitting at the Squad table and how no one ever asked him to be on Squad. Casey growls that maybe it’s because Otis is a slacker and Mills has been busting his ass. Severide writes Mills a note so he can get into the classes that were closed.
Tara is lurking behind the ambulance. Severide bets her a dollar that she can’t make a basket with a ball of paper. She says, make it a beer and we have a deal and then tanks the shot. It’s 2013, this “I have to pretend to be bad at things so boys will like me” is tired, it’s lame, and frankly it makes me think that you can’t hack it anywhere. I will start booing your every appearance on my screen now. Casey goes to the see the Chief because he’s just brimming with concern for the guy who is dating the girl he blew it with. He’s mad that Severide is stealing his candidate that he marches in and tells the Chief that he’s so concerned that maybe no one is looking out for Peter Mills and oh by the way I think you are doing all of this out of guilt over letting Henry Mills die. Oh Casey, you have more wrong theories than three seasons of parental confusion on Pretty Little Liars.
Mills is sitting in the semi-darkness of the bunk room talking on the phone like a teenage girl. He’s talking with the course people about getting into the class he was missing. When Dawson tries to talk to him he gets all snappy with her and then admits he feels like he’s doing something wrong. He thinks all the mean girls are talking behind his back. Dude, you are the whiniest person on this show (and that’s saying something). Dawson and Shay have had a gun pulled on them twice, Dawson got kidnapped by a ambulance jacker last week, she had a gun to her head when she was trying to find her brother’s shooter, and she witnessed her brother being shot. Repeat after me, “Suck. It. Up.” She’s a nicer person than I am and tells him what Madonna taught her and that is that some people are afraid of a little ambition. This is why Dawson scrapped her plan to become a doctor in favor of staying at the fire house with the worst luck this side of a horror movie.
Shay’s hanging out in the locker room when Herrmann’s wife waddles in. She’s pregnant and mentions that she’s a little short of breath but that it’s probably just the weight she’s gained. Hooray, someone to show Shay that having a kid is a terrible idea! But Shay’s super EMT sense is tingling and it tells her that something’s just not right. Sure enough it turns out Cindy’s got a possible pulmonary embolism and they rush her to the hospital. Shay has to intubate Cindy and Tara is about as much use as a fart in a jam jar. When they reach the hospital Shay stays with Cindy until the doctor comes out to tell her that everything is fine. They’ll probably name the kid Leslie or Shay or something. The paramedics chief stops by and Dawson freaks for a second and runs through the list of questionable things she’s done in the past week. She comes up empty for the first time ever and actually smiles back at the guy. He asks her how Tara is doing and she tells him she’s a nice girl which in paramedic speak is the same as if someone asks if a girl is hot and you say she has a nice personality. Dawson lays it down, the girl can’t hack it in the city. Have fun in the burbs Tara, nice knowing you.
Dawson and Casey are shopping for a door for the bar and they sure are giggly. Casey picks up a heavy object (not making this up) to show how manly and strong he is. Dawson, is like, “bitch, please” and tries to lift it but then, like a Looney Toons character, realizes just how heavy it a split second before the anvil falls on her head. They find the perfect door just before Mills calls to check in from class. He’s running up the steps with books in his hands and a pen in his teeth like something out of a John Hughes movie. He offers to help her shop the following day and she dodges it by saying that no, it’s cool, she’s already done all her giggling with Casey. Tara shows up dangling a six pack of beer in front of Severide and then oozes her way inside. She tells him that the bartender that they have as a “mutual friend” talked about how Tara should stay away from Severide because she would be incapable of resisting his charm. Other things she’s incapable of doing: taking a hint, making a basket, and doing her fucking job. In the middle of their heartfelt conversation over a sixer, Shay busts in, hair wild, eyes red, and guns blazing. She’s pissed that Severide hasn’t been answering his calls because she’s “in the window” and she needs to get pregnant now. She sees that he’s busy with Madam Incompetent, says “if she’s half as crap in bed as she in on the ambulance I wouldn’t bother,” before telling him that if he can’t check his goddamn phone maybe he’s not father material. Shay, you know I love you, but the moment to realize this was a long time ago. This guy is not a pillar of responsibility around whom you should build a life or raise a child. She tells him that she releases him from his responsibility and we all cheer! Ding dong the stupid story line is dead, and there was much rejoicing (not really). The next shift the guys are all mad at Dawson for getting Tara switched out. Casey starts to talk to Dawson about the door and Mills gets all puffed up with jealousy but Dawson’s saved by a call to a burning house full of pot plants. The place is rigged to several different illegal sources of electricity. Inside Casey and Severide fight for custody of Peter Mills before one of the firefighter’s gets electrocuted and Casey and Mills have to save him. Otis congratulates Mills for having rescued a member of rescue squad. Oh great, they’re all friends again, now I can sleep at night. Mills plants himself in the truck before anyone else so he doesn’t get left behind this time. He asks Casey why he never tried out for Squad and Casey says because no one cares what kind of insignia you are wearing when you save their life. True fact. I rarely ask to see ID when I’m having my life saved.
They are called to the scene of another incident and this time it’s the guy the cops wired to bring down dirty cop, bad guy Voight. He’s been shot and Dawson looks worried and tries to shield it from Casey.
They all gather at Molly’s to hang twinkle lights, drink warm beer, and contemplate how royally screwed they all are if the case against Voight can’t go forward. Everyone heads outside to get a look at the new doors and Shay pulls Severide back to talk to him. She apologizes for ripping his head off the night before and notes that just maybe the hormones are making her a crazy person. He says he’s sorry for giving the impression that he’s less than committed to having a kid with her. She tells him that she’s going to go a different direction so that their friendship doesn’t get ruined because he’s the one good thing in her life right now. Yep, perfectly responsible to add a kid to that kind of environment. Everything looks less messy and difficult with a baby. He talks her out of it and they’re back on the parenting as best friends boondoggle. Dawson and Casey pose for a picture, just like the one of Dawson’s grandparents, in front of the door which has been stripped, sanded, and refinished faster than they make shit on The New Yankee Workshop. In the midst of the picture taking Mills shows up and makes out with Dawson’s face and pees on her leg to let Casey know she belongs to Mills and only Mills. It’s gross. Severide gets called back to the firehouse and when he gets there Tara is leaving with some other lady. He tries to say hello but she won’t look at him. He walks into the Chief’s office which is filled with official looking guys. The Chief says that Tara has made an allegation that Severide lured her to his apartment and tried to force himself upon her. Look, I’m not going to beat this one to death but can we just be done with false rape story lines? Rape is an underreported crime, seriously underreported, and the number of falsely reported rapes is miniscule. Let’s not perpetuate the idea that women cry rape like the boy cried wolf. It sure seems like they are setting this up as a false allegation because she’s pissed about getting kicked out of the program, but the fact that she pursued Severide, arrived at his apartment late at night with beer, and told him she was interested in him does not for a second rule out the possibility that she was raped. On the plus side, the Chief and other superior officers seem to be taking the allegation seriously, so there’s that.
She said what Later, after Mills has run along to homeroom, Dawson thanks Casey for his help on the door. It means a lot to her and he says he knows, that’s why he did it. They’re in the midst of a nice moment when in walks the least busy resident in the history of the world. Hallie is back from South America looking well-rested and not at all like a doctor.
Here are a few of your #ShaycagoFire tweets. Glad you guys stuck around to give me a few giggles.
ChicagoFire doing the worst storylines as of now & they all involve Severide. Shay-Severide-Baby & FauxRape accusation. What?! #ShaycagoFire– Even (@2Even) April 4, 2013
Tara are you sure you want to be an EMT? you got much to learn from shawson, you need to up your level of gayness & awsomness #shaycagofire– Even (@2Even) April 4, 2013
Pregnant lady to Shay says ‘Leslie’ right. Les-Lee, not Lez-Lee! Best thing about this episode. #ThingsOnlyInotice #ShayCagoFire– Leslie K (@Harpy9) April 4, 2013
And this just became an episode of The O.C… #Shaycagofire– Laura Guevara (@SilverTotem94) April 4, 2013
Does Tara realize that sexual assault accusations are no joke? Ugh. I hate this girl! #ShaycagoFire– Jordan Kendall (@celinemealone) April 4, 2013
that picture should’ve been Shawson. #ShaycagoFire– darryl’s poncho (@invisiblecircus) April 4, 2013
Why does Dawson turn into a complete idiot when around men?It’s annoying. #shaycagofire– Mandy Watts (@mandylynn9) April 4, 2013
Apparently, the only thing Tara is capable of doing is flirting with Severide. Ugh. #ShaycagoFire– Jordan Kendall (@celinemealone) April 4, 2013
Wait, what the hell happened to the whole “Dawson going to Med school” thing? #Shaycagofire– Laura Guevara (@SilverTotem94) April 4, 2013
“@agron_gasm: can Gabby break up with Peter already & be with Shay ??? thank you. #shaycagofire #shawson” yes please– Pam (@UhHuhDaggr) April 4, 2013
UGH. Mills is needier than Pouch. #downpup #ChicagoFire #ShaycagoFire– Valerie Anne (@PunkyStarshine) April 4, 2013
Can we please have a new female character who DOESN’T flirt w/Severide. Seriously enough #ChicagoFire #ShaycagoFire– Traci (@Soxaholic_T) April 4, 2013
Oh, so Casey is being a prick? What else is new? #Shaycagofire– Laura Guevara (@SilverTotem94) April 4, 2013
The show is off for until April 24. Until then let’s talk about this week, what did you think of the episode?
