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“Chicago Fire” recap (1.16): “Come on, be realistic.”

Previously in Chicago Fire Dawson made a deal with the devil to catch the guy who shot her brother but her end of the bargain is that she has to date either boring guy A) Candidate Peter Mills or B) Matthew “personality of a baked potato” Casey. Shay and Clarice made googly eyes at a very cute baby and worried that Daniel would use the fact that Clarice once took some Prozac to get his baby back, baby back, baby back. Casey and his mom were locked in a battle of teen angst and parole, which is also the name of a new show replacing Jersey Shore. Severide won his break-up by finding out that his ex-fiancee is now a stripper and celebrated by making a crib for his lesbian roommates. Rock ‘n roll, Severide. Rock ‘n roll.

Casey’s leaving in the morning and his mom hands him a travel cup of coffee that she hopes will make him forget about telling her she had to find a new home. Mama Casey spots her parole office getting out of her car and bolts for the back door because she was up to something no good the night before and if the PO tests her, it will show up. So she does what every teenager would do and asks Casey to make something up. He talks to the parole officer about how his mom has gone for a walk, at 7:00 a.m., in Chicago, in a month ending in -ary. Yeah she doesn’t buy his bullshit but he’s off to be Super Casey, saver of kittens up trees so he doesn’t have a choice but come back and try to catch mom another time. Back at the firehouse Shay bombs into the meeting room where Clarice is chatting with their lawyer. She apologizes for being late but she’s busy saving lives so sometimes she’s not as punctual as she’d like to be. Clarice says that Daniel rejected the offer of joint custody and the lawyer launches into all the reasons why Shay and Clarice don’t look like perfect parents on paper. The lawyer calls Clarice a “switch hitter” who only was with Daniel to get pregnant before ditching him for a woman with a time-consuming and hazardous job. Then she has the audacity to say that it doesn’t look good for them to live with a “skirt chaser.” The lawyer says she sorry to have to be the voice of bigotry but if they would just act like a “normal” family, her job would be so much easier. Shay’s pissed because it’s way too early for someone to be calling her abnormal. But because she’s Shay and possibly the most mature person on the show, she says they’ll get a place of their own and do whatever it takes to keep little Wesley. Before they can flesh out that plan she’s called out to her time-consuming and hazardous job.

The call is to a fire and the crew gets the family out only to have the little girl yell that Lassie is still inside. Cruz hops from one ladder to the other like a burly Spider Man and goes up to find Fido. He hears a dog barking and launches himself through the window into the burning building. He finds the dog, who scampers out the front door while Cruz gets knocked to the floor by a beam. Of course now everyone has to go in a save Cruz. Mouch, Herrmann, and Casey go in and find Cruz. As they are leaving the floor erupts in flames and Mouch is trapped on the wrong side. Not to worry, they toss Gollum and the ring into the fire and Mouch is able to run out with the rest. When they get out of the building Casey, Mouch, and Herrmann are pissed and refuse treatment from Dawson. Cruz has a burn around his wrist and the Chief tells him he has to go to the hospital to have it checked out. The team barely looks at Cruz as he tries to assuage his guilt over letting Flaco die by looking at the dog he rescued and imagining he’s redeemed himself. Back at the firehouse Severide asks Whaley how Renee is doing after she swallowed a mess of pills last week and landed in the hospital. Whaley says his sister won’t talk to him but is on 72- hour hold in the psych unit, so you know, captive audience for Severide.

Dawson wants to know how long Casey is going to freeze her out. He’s like, “What do you mean, I’m not freezing you out. Oh look there’s any other person in the world I could talk to except for you. TTFN!”

Dawson, Otis, and Herrmann are sitting around the table chatting about the bar. Otis is torqued that Dawson is on bad terms with Casey because it means he’s going to have to learn how to do tape drywall. Dawson’s like “Screw you dude, taping drywall is a hell of a lot more interesting than talking to Casey.” They talk about what to name the bar, Otis wants to name it Moustache Pete’s and Dawson wants to name it Solstice, Persuasion, or Sapphic Tendencies but the boys don’t go for it. Shay and Severide meet up in the hallway, per usual. These two walk and talk like they are Josh Lyman and Donna Moss. Severide is all “thanks for getting me mixed up with my ex-fiancee, now she’s in a psych ward.” Shay points out that she’s in a psych ward because she needs help and frankly it’s not about him all the time. Donna tries to tell Josh that she’s going to move out of their place and into the the lezzie loft with Clarice but she’s called out before she can finish her thought. Casey finds Mouch who reminds Casey about a chat they had about their buddy Cruz. Mouch is mad that Casey told him that Cruz was fine and that Mouch should mind his own business. Mouch asks Casey if he can handle Cruz or if Mouch needs to talk to the Chief.

Shay and Dawson are called out to a homeless guy who is refusing to go indoors in spite of the cold. While they are walking to the guy Dawson cracks that Shay and Severide move in and out of their apartment so many times it’s like watching a ping-pong match. She’s not wrong. I’m guess the number for U-Haul is on speed dial at Shayveride’s. They convince Mickey to come out of the cold although he’s not sold on going to the hospital. Shay tells him that there are lots of pretty nurses there, most of whom she knows in the biblical sense. He says “Prettier than you two” and Shay, speaking for everyone with eyes says “Come on, be realistic” because no one actually looks like Shay and Dawson. Shay goes to give Mickey a shot and he waves his arm and Shay’s stuck with the needle. Look, we watched the preview from last week, we knew this was coming but it doesn’t mean we didn’t flinch. I would like to know why Shay is the designated punching bag for this show. Shay’s at the hospital again. Just one more admission and she qualifies for a free overnight stay and a gift basket. Judging by the shit they throw at her, the basket will be hers by Easter. The doctor explains all the possible blood-borne diseases she may have caught from Mickey. They are treating her for every possibility because Mickey refuses to take a blood test to let them know what diseases he actually has. Shay is terrified and Dawson is there to comfort her. Who isn’t there? Clarice. When the going gets tough, Clarice runs for the hills. Shay and Dawson walk in and Boden is there to comfort Shay with the assurance that she’s getting the best treatment available. Dawson tells Severide about the needle stick and he hurries off to be with his bro. Dawson wanders over to Mills and says she just wants the shift to be over. Mills tries to comfort her on the sly. These two little closet cases are kind of cute with their longing looks and secret hand holding. Shay is freaking out to Severide in the locker room about having to miss work if she ends up infected by the needle stick. She doesn’t want it to jeopardize their chances of keeping Wesley if Daniel’s attorney finds out that she’s missing work because she has a communicable disease. She tells Severide she has to move out because their living situation isn’t “normal” enough. Severide is hurt but tells her to do whatever she has to do to keep her little family together. Clearly the lawyers never saw Full House because wacky parenting situations are nothing new and Severide would make a great Uncle Jesse. Dawson tells Casey that she didn’t have any other choice but to go to Voight to protect Antonio. Casey’s still stuck on the hit Voight tried to put out on Casey. Before they can try to sort out this problem, Mouch drops in the tell Casey that Cruz is back and now would be a good time for Casey to go do his freaking job.

Casey confronts Cruz in the garage. He yells and screams and stomps and points and tells Cruz that maybe he’s dead inside and doesn’t care if he lives but he can’t keep putting others in danger. Casey tells him that Cruz can either turn in his badge or Casey will go to the cops and both of their careers will be shot. I get it, this episode is all about protecting family, whether it’s real family or the family of the fire house. Can we just get back to Shay now? Oh look, ask and ye shall receive. Shay and Clarice are looking at a nice apartment in a good school district. In spite of being worried about the 32 flavors and then some of diseases she may have gotten from Mickey the petri dish, Shay is doing her best good man in a storm impression. Clarice gets off the phone with the lawyer and says that they’re worried that Shay’s needle stick will be discoverable in the custody case. Gee honey, so sorry that you have hepatitis but could you have waited until after we got custody, you’re possible illness is really mucking up my life. Clarice is a terrible person and the worst kind of Slytherin. Severide has found his way to the psych ward to see Renee because that’s what every girl dreams about as a follow-up to being ditched two days before the wedding and being confronted in a strip joint. She claims that Severide is just gliding through like and never suffered at all after they broke up and meanwhile she’s been in hell, giving lap dances to the Barney Stinsons of Chicago, and she tries to storm off but the thing about a locked ward is you can’t go anywhere without a key. So her exit goes from righteous and melodramatic to comedic and kind of sad.

The bar owners are working hard spackling, and doing demolition like a couple on HGTV when Herrmann discovers a safe hidden in a wall. He doesn’t want to open it but he’s the only one. Dawson is wearing her best “lesbians please hit on me” football jersey and she looks adorable.

Casey and Christie are sitting in a bar figuring out their babysitting schedule for their mom. Casey has drawn up some cider house rules for mom about her curfew and how the door has to be kept open whenever she has boys over. Mom walks in and has an awkward reunion with Christie. I wish I could care about this story line but the Casey clan has less personality than a box of bran flakes.

Whaley and Severide chat about Renee. Severide tells him that she was mad, lashing out, and that seeing her wasn’t such a good idea. He thinks Renee is spinning out and thinks maybe he made it worse. Whaley thanks him for helping and they get all mushy since its Whaley last shift. “Sorry it didn’t work out with my sister, bro. But, you know, you’re kinda cute. Wanna get a little bromantic tonight?” Cruz is sitting in an empty pew while a priest rattles on about cutting down trees that bear bad fruit and throwing them into the fire. Cruz fidgets, and loses his composure. Tears well as he looks at the burns on his arm and wonders if he’s the tree that bore the bad fruit. A child turns around and tell his mom that he sees a fireman. Another grown-up nods to Cruz in respect sending Cruz over the edge with guilt. Cruz bolts from his seat and heads for the door, shedding his uniform coat as he goes. He pauses to throw it in the donation bin at the back before he leaves, exposed to the elements.

The crew is called out to work with the bomb squad. Some guy who was turned down by the police academy four times killed himself and left his apartment wired to explode. They have to get into the apartment by cutting through the floor of the one above it. I’d love to hear that conversation when they try to make a claim on their renter’s insurance. As Severide is about to leave it to the bomb guys, they discover a woman inside and she’s been stabbed. The place is rigged to blow in a big way but Severide packs the lady’s wound and they get her out.

Back at the firehouse Cruz hands Casey his badge. Casey says he’ll talk to Boden but Mouch watches the scene as it happens and follows Cruz to the equipment room. They sit, surrounded by the coats, helmets, boots, and other gear that keeps them safe and signals to the world who they are. Cruz admits to Mouch what he did when he found Flaco in the fire. He breaks down, curses himself for thinking that god was handing him the answer to all the problems he had with Leon. He can’t forgive himself for putting Mouch, Otis, Herrmann and the others in danger because he was weak. Mouch forgives Cruz and then rushes to stop Casey from talking to the Chief. Mouch explains to Casey that Cruz needed to be forgiven and asks Casey to think about how far he would go for the ones he loves. How far has he gone for them?

Casey finds Cruz and wordlessly gives back his badge.

Shay, Dawson, and Mills are walking out at the end of the shift. Shay gets a call telling her that Mickey consented to have his blood tested and that he came back negative for any diseases. She and Dawson hugs and Mills joins in not realizing he’s the most annoying third wheel ever. Severide is at the psych ward to pick up Renee who tells him to go to hell. He asks her to spend half an hour with him and then he’ll take her wherever she wants to go. Meanwhile, the bar owners are opening the safe. They find a box. When Dawson opens it she says “we never should have opened this.” Christie is at Casey’s house to pick their mom up since her day to take care of her. Instead mom bounces out of the house and into an ancient Beetle driven by her old cell mate Cheyenne. What could possibly go wrong?

We’re back at the apartment with Shay and the realtor and no sign of Clarice. When Clarice walks in she’s like “sweet about you not having HIV but here’s the deal, Daniel offered to share custody if I move to New York.” Shay’s momentarily thrilled because it means he caved and they can keep negotiating, but she forgot that Clarice doesn’t have the heart of a lion. Clarice says she’s tired of fighting so she’s going to take the deal and she’s leaving for New York that evening. Clarice just oozes into whatever shape is most convenient for her. I can’t understand how Shay who is upstanding and brave got so wrapped up with someone so willing to do the easy thing regardless of who she hurts. I am hoping this is the last we see of Clarice and the start of Shay becoming the skirt chaser we all know she can be. For the love of god, can they stop making her cry? Severide take Renee to a spot she once told him that “life never looked simpler than it did from right here.” She tries to shrug him off, push him away with a smart remark about how “sometimes a view i just a view” but he presses on by telling her that until recently he never had any kind of relationship like the one he had with her. He says the one girl he really liked left and that sometimes it’s just easier to let things fall apart than to try to make it work. She says when she sees him and her family all she sees is what she lost. “Sometimes a view is just a view” he says. He tells her he hated her once but now he misses her. He drives Renee to see her brother and leaves them hugging on the sidewalk.

Here are your #ShaycagoFire tweets that cracked me up last night. Thanks you guys for playing along. So what did you think of the episode? What do you hope happens next? Are you happy that Clarice is gone?

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