Previously on Lost Girl: A drifter on the run from herself stumbles across an ancient supernatural species that lives among the humans and divides itself into Light and Dark. She realizes she is one of them, yet different, and bonds with an equally different, yet very human grifter and they form a special friendship and solve mysteries together. And these BFFs were the BFFiest of BFFs until one day an UnKenzi came along and took the real Kenzi’s place and no one knew it but Bo. And that’s what you missed on Lost Girl.
So no one believes UnKenzi isn’t Kenzi. Not Trick, not Dyson, nor Tamsin, not Lauren. That last one is particularly problematic, but we’ll get back to that in depth later. Instead of believing Bo. everyone believes UnKenzi because, well, I’m not exactly sure. Probably because Bo does a piss poor job of explaining why she doesn’t think it was her. Hey, how about you mention UnKenzi eating peanuts in front of you despite her deadly peanut allergy instead of just saying some jazz about feeling it in your heart? Sheesh.
Dyson and an eager Tamsin lock Bo in the basement under Trick’s command. Then Trick yells at Dyson for good measure because his only job was to protect her and instead he broke her heart, lost his love for her and then gained it back at the most inopportune. While they argue about who should be protecting a woman who currently only needs to be protected from them, another woman who knows how to handle herself is sensing something fishy about UnKenzi. The woman who most distrusts Bo believing her the most? Now that, Alanis Morissette, is actually ironic.
Lauren comes to visit Bo in her makeshift prison. But then instead of supporting her innocence, offering a steamy conjugal visit and promising to wait for her while she does her dime in county, Lauren steadies her gaze and says calmly that she needs to take a DNA sample. And not in the fun way. With that Bo deflates entirely, as does the fandom. Not Lauren, too. Anyone but Lauren.
Lauren says letting her run her tests is the only way she knows how to help Bo. But Bo, and all of us, know that isn’t true. And she can’t understand why Lauren wouldn’t believe her. Sure, Bo has acted up, forgotten things, succu-smashed some unsavory fellows. But has she really done anything so heinous yet to warrant Lauren siding entirely against her, even in an effort to save her from herself? Yeah, something tells me her pubococcygeus muscle might be getting a whole lot more rest, this time of the unwanted variety.
Bo reinforces this fear and says coldly, “I will never forgive you for this.” Shit, so it was fun while it lasted, Team Doccubus. We’ll always have winning the E! Online 2013 Top TV Couples Poll to remember our beautiful time together by – and, of course, the commemorative T-shirts. But, Lauren, who is now speaking as a surrogate for all of fandom, stoically replies, “Well, I hope that’s not true.”
Lauren asks for some time to figure things out. And Bo says sure, with one critical caveat. “If Kenzi dies it’s on you. I just want you to know that, sweetie.” If words were weapons, that sweetie would be a long, cold dagger driven straight into our tender, tender hearts.
Speaking of tender hearts, our little tough yet tender cookie Kenzi – the real Kenzi not the UnKenzi fooling all of the fools – is chained up in some dank cave. UnKenzi saunters in and we’re all, “See! See! Imposter! Fraud! UnKenzi!” Alas, no one can hear our cries because technology still hasn’t found a way to let us communicate with fictional characters by yelling at our TVs – yet.
Fauxzi boasts about her BFF status with everyone and Kenzi assures her that Bo and Dyson will save her. Hey, I thought you were at least on a friendship bracelet level with Lauren now. Why couldn’t she be part of the rescue brigade, too?