Well hello-o-oooo! I hope that 2013 is treating you all well so far. I’ve been MIA for a minute, but now I’m back and ready to dive right back into all of your questions! This week I answered some interesting questions, some, lets just say “deeper” than others but all good none the less. So without further ado, here are this weeks Q and A’s by yours truly!
Hey Alyssa, I had this friend who during summer told me she liked me. I am really not a relationship type person and never even thought about her that way, so I turned her down. She was kinda OK with that, but informed me that I should never talk to her again, cannot tell anyone why we are no longer friends and that she would delete my phone number and e-mail, etc. So, OK, I can understand that, somewhat — but, since we both study the same thing and are in the same class, things have gotten a bit complicated. She has told me that I cannot talk to people she’s talking to, and can’t even comment on anything school-related she does, even when it’s something that other students are expected to contribute to.
I have tried to adhere to her rules. I recently decided I should try and talk to her about this because it’s been kinda straining on our mutual friends, whom she uses as messengers when she wants to complain to me about something. Well, the talk didn’t go well and now she apparently blames me for everything, and is retroactively angry at me for everything I’ve said and done ”wrong” during the time I’ve known her. So, my question is, how should I deal with this thing? I fear it’s starting to be a bother to our other classmates as well. — Troubled24
Hi Alyssa. So, this might be weird, because I know mostly girls write in, but I like reading your column and I liked watching you on the show. You were the only one who wasn’t completely insane or overly dramatic and most of all you seemed the most relatable.
Anyway, I have been with my girlfriend for a little over four years and I think she is the one. I plan to ask her to marry me in the fall since its her favorite time of the year. The thing is, she is from a kind of poor family, and I was fortunate enough to be born into a family with money. I took over my father’s business and have had to do very little to get all the wonderful things I have in my life. My girlfriend always talks about how she doesn’t need much, and that she feels uncomfortable around people with lots of money. She is a wonderful, bright woman, she put herself through school and worked three jobs when we met. I had to force her to quit one and lied to her about how much her half of the rent was when we decided to move in together so that she wouldn’t have to work so hard. I wanted to pay for everything when she moved in but she would not have it. I respect that, but want to treat her the way I think she deserves to be treated. I want to give her a beautiful ring and an amazing wedding and tell her that she only needs to work if she wants to. I’m just worried that she will feel uncomfortable about everything and/or take it all the wrong way. How do I make her understand where I am coming from without making her feel uncomfortable? -Brian
Dear Alyssa, I work in a boring office building in downtown Boise, I am not completely out and I am 26 years old. Recently our office went through some changes and we got a bunch of new managers and bosses. I am essentially a glorified secretary. I am 99% sure that my new boss is gay. She is super hot in that kind of andro way and I’m pretty sure I heard her on a call with a friend in her office talking about a lesbian movie.
Anyhow, I am super into her. I find every excuse to go into her office to talk, but she doesn’t seem interested at all. She is very nice to me, but barely looks up. What do you think I should do? I mean, I’m not even sure she likes girls — maybe I’m just assuming because I want it to be true. Help! Sincerely, Amanda
Alyssa, hi. I am 30 and have been with my partner for 10 years. She is an alcoholic. I love her but just can’t do it anymore. We have been on a roller coaster of a ride for the last six months. She crashed our car, she almost died and that still isn’t enough of a wake up call for her to get help.
Everything else in our relationship is great, when she is sober, but when she isn’t its like living in hell. We barely ever go out anymore because if we do she drinks to the point of blackout. All of our friends have basically shunned her. Its really sad, most of them only call me in secret if they even call at all and only want to see me because they don’t want to have to babysit her if she comes out. It’s awful. She is constantly falling down, she has a new cut, gash or bruise every other week and it’s embarrassing. I’m afraid if I leave her that it will be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. I barely sleep anymore and if I do its because I am crying so much that it knocks me out.
She is so talented, bright and beautiful. When she is sober she has the world eating out of her hands but she has gotten so bad with drinking over the last three years that no one will give her the time of day. I don’t even really know what I’m asking. What do I do? – Emily