The AfterEllen.com Huddle: Awkward Couples

This week’s Huddle is inspired by Flavorwire’s list of Film’s Most Awkward Couples, including Rosie O’Donnell and Dan Aykroyd in Exit to Eden. While we can agree with that weirdness as well as most of the others on their list, there are plenty of awkward pairings we can come up with, too — including some lesbian twosomes.

Dana Picolli: Papi and Kit from The L Word. What in the hell were they thinking with this one? I remember screaming “Nooooooo!” at my screen during their awkward hook up. Kit was so kick ass, and the whole thing felt so forced. She deserved better than that. Shortly after that, Papi walked off into the West Hollywood sunset, never to be seen or heard from again.

Heather Hogan: Tobias and Lindsay Funke! They’re the most ridiculous/hilarious awkward couple in history! Dr. Funke’s 100 Percent Natural Good Time Family Band Solution! You handsome cowboy, you! You selfish cuuuuuuntry music-loving lady!

Erika Star: I want a Detective Benson bi-curious storyline as much as the next lez, but not if it’s going to look anything like this kiss between Mariska and comedienne Ali Wentworth. This also puts a damper on my plan to start writing Law & Order: SVU fan fiction.

Lucy Hallowell: Jules and Nic from The Kids Are All Right. The whole movie sucked because I couldn’t have cared less about them as a couple. Just break up already, you barely like each other and have zero chemistry! Ugh. If there was ever a time for a lesbian to get hit by a truck…

Punky Starshine: Emily Fitch and Mandy The Beast! (Or, as Rophy calls her, Mandeh.) How you can go from Naomi to ANYONE is beyond me. Especially this…

Marcie Bianco: Since people choose lovers/significant others for a myriad of personal reasons, I think the kind of awkward relationship that I want to talk about is—no, not the lemon sorbet/blueberry swirl combination of Ben & Jerry’s Liz Lemon flavor (where are the Sabor de Soledad chips?)—the relationship between “pro-life” and “feminist.” That’s just queer. — as in absolutely wrong. Pro-life women are never “pro” regarding the “life” of women. The biblical dehumanization of women (as “ribs,” as necessarily submissive, as god’s/man’s “vessel”) ironically undergirds the logic of “pro-lifers.” The awkwardness of this relation is of epic WHAT-THE-WHAAA proportions — you know, because FEMINISM is all about protecting and ensuring the value of the life of women.

Dara Nai: You don’t need even half a blip of gaydar to feel the awkward while watching Ellen DeGeneres and Bill Pullman in Mr.Wrong, or Jodie Foster and her lesbro, Mel Gibson, in Maverick. If you’re buying either of these “couples,” I have a bridge I’d like to sell you. And I think I might be alone in this, but I’ve never understood the hoopla over Bella and Edward. Whenever I see them in pictures from Twilight, it looks like a mannequin staring at a cold meatloaf. There. I said it.

Sarah Terez Rosenblum: Bear with me, I’m watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer again for the first time in maybe six years so my brain is all “Twilight? What’s that?” and “Ohmygod giant cargo pants and crop tops are so cool, right?” and I have to say Willow and Kennedy. Awkward may be the wrong word here, but certainly mismatched. Lots of issues but foremost: both are similarly top-y — not saying that can’t work, but in this case nuances are lacking, probably because Kennedy is possibly the least fleshed out main character to have sprung from Joss Whedon’s brain. It’s almost like Whedon’s saying, “Look, I gave you guys Oz and Tara, I’m not even going to try this time.”

Grace Chu: At this point, Taylor Swift and anyone. But is there anyone left on the planet for her to have a three day fumble with? And the supply of brunettes for her to hate is running low. Maybe she will have to move on to dissing gingers soon.

Bridget McManus: Remember the hot mess of a hookup between Dana and Jenny on The L Word? It was painful to watch.

Ali Davis: That thing on Glee where they made Sue Sylvester have a crush on a news anchor? I’ve mostly blocked it out. But looking back on it, it was like a warning shot — given the copious self-inflicted wounds among my friends who still watch the show, it was definitely shades of things to come.

Emily Hartl: Right now I’m going to have to go with Marnie and Booth on Girls. First of all, Booth is pretty much the most stereotypical short man ever; over compensating for whatever he might lack down under with an over-the-top overtness about his sexuality. BARF. Then when he was like weirdly fucking Marnie from behind while she had to stare at a life size doll? I mean, I guess she’s rebounding pretty hard but with this guy? It just makes my skin crawl.

Trish Bendix: I never believed Angela Featherstone and Megan Cavanaugh as “Chris and Kris” on Exes & Ohs. Their chemistry was completely lacking and I just couldn’t see them in any kind of relationship other than softball teammates.

Who do you think is a totally awkward couple?

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