Right, so I should be talking with you right now about how Kenzi and Vex went down to some underground, quite literally, avant garde party where they made like glowstick bracelet besties to help one of her friends solve some unexplained disappearances. But, let’s be honest, no one here cares about the plot setup. No one cares about the guy in the lame alligator costume who peed his pants and then winds up dead. And no one cares that Kenzi’s friend goes missing, too. No one cares even the teeniest, tiniest bit because, well, you know – this is happening.
Oh, yes. This. Is. Happening. Never in my life have I been happier that the frame-by-frame function exists.
Bo and Lauren are giving us the naked Doccubus sexytimes of our dreams. I mean, really, why read fanfic when it’s right there on the screen to just watch? In fact, it’s so hot Lauren bemoans their lack of a sufficient stock of sports drinks in the fridge. She tells Bo her medulla oblongata is screaming — for hydration. Well, I’m certain there was screaming but I’m not sure if it was just for electrolytes.
You know when you’ve been craving a drink of, shall we say, water for a very, very long time. You’re just so terribly thirsty. And the water is right in front of you but just out of reach for complicated reasons that may or may not included mythological superpowers, commitment issues and a girlfriend in a coma? But then, after so many small sips and even big gulps only to have the glass taken away, you finally, finally get to drink the whole thing down in one three-day bring that leaves you feeling exhausted and exhilarated and still, always, thirsty for more? Yeah, it was like that.
Lauren makes a joke about having to play dumb to repel Bo’s sexual attraction and we all laugh and laugh because, please, Dr. Hotpants could never play dumb. Trick calls and no one cares because kissing is happening. Then Bo wakes up for the second night in a row next to Lauren with the night terrors and Lauren asks if committing to her is that terrifying. She says it isn’t, but doesn’t tell her the real terror was her suckyface buffet on the unwitting guy outside the Dal. Poor Lauren, lied to and unable to finally get that drink of water.