“Emily Owens, M.D.” recap (Ep. 10): “The Experiment”

Reasons for the season this week, meaning, of course, the Emily Owens Season: Hot. Molly. Also, Bandari’s sternum. And then some bros take up space, too, but we can just ignore that part.

We start this week with a dream from inside Emily’s head: the gang’s taking shots at the bar, and Peanuts Guy comes back to apologize for their weird date and see if it could work out again. Also, Tyra is wearing a kickass shirt! Then Will rudely pulls Emily away from Peanuts Guy by her arm and says, you’re right, I AM jealous. And then they go to kiss, and thank God this was a dream because Emily, if Will even seems like sort of a jerk in your head, this is not a good sign! Maybe that seemed valiant to you, but really, it was jerky!

Morphing into real life at the hospital, we meet our patients for the week: first, an adorable young man with severe cystic fibrosis. Until he can get a new pair of lungs, his body is wracked with the type of violent, painful coughs that make everyone in the room uncomfortable. While Cassandra and Emily are working with him, Cassandra seems to be acting strangely, a little timid and quiet and generally un-Cassandra-like. We’re later reminded that her own brother had cystic fibrosis and also went through a lung transplant, which seems like one of the scariest of all the transplants.

We’re also briefly introduced to a extremely bloody emergency patient, accompanied by his equally bloody and extremely distressed wife, whose dire condition we get to assess briefly before he dies. What accident must he have been in? Why did he die? Who knows! Emily shows compassion for his still-bloody-but-now-deflated wife for just long enough for us to learn that he’s an organ donor. A-ha, now we get it. Boy’s gonna get his lungs!


Don’t worry about me, Frodo. I’m going to Hawaii!

Bandari then puts Emily on some “nothing cases” to cover for some missing doctors, which obviously means that at least one of these suckers is going to be anything but “nothing”! Meet a sweet diabetic old woman who’s having such normal symptoms as migraines and swelling. She’s also a psychic, and pulls out some cards to foresee Emily’s future, which includes something about a romantic house, or something, which probably should have been accompanied by “Love Shack” playing softly in the background — missed opportunity, Emily Owens, M.D. — and Emily is all, “Haha, yes, but no, because science.”

As she’s in a hospital and this is what she does, the woman also decides to check out how the cards believe her own health is going. Bad idea: guess what, she’s going to die within 24 hours! This obviously makes her a bit upset, but Emily quells her fears by repeating, “No. No. SCIENCE!”


It’s mandatory for doctors to belittle people like you!

Back to the storyline about Jealous Will (groan), Emily has decided to conduct an “experiment”: flirt while Will’s around, and see if he gets jealous again. This seems like an awful idea, because 1) Ugh, flirting is fun when you really like someone, but purposeful flirting with someone you don’t sounds legitimately like the worst thing in the world, and 2) Will is stupid! However, the only good thing about this is that Tyra has stepped up to the plate because she knows Emily is a bad flirter. She demonstrates for Emily with Hot Molly how it should be done. Can everyone else hear the Hallelujah Chorus in the background, or is it just me?


Step One: Make eye contact.


Intrigue.


Steps Two and Three: “Accidental” touching; getting too close. OK!

Perfect perfect perfect ahhhhhhhhh! I feel that now that that screen cap has been made, my job here is done. The lesbian TV gods have listened. Let us rejoice and be glad!

However, there are still other important things that need to be addressed, things such as Bandari’s perfect face, which we soon see standing next to her husband in an elevator. They wrap up what seems to be a tense conversation as Emily steps in, and after a moment of silence, Bandari introduces them. In top Emily form, she gushes, “Wait, you’re MARRIED?! I mean, I, err, you seem like a lovely couple!” Smooth.


ZOMG.

Tyra continues to support Emily’s pursuit of Will (I know you’re a good friend, but Tyra, why?), and encourages her to make the moves when an opportunity to have Will over at her place to help put together a bookcase falls in Emily’s lap. Well, how it actually happens is, Emily’s like, “I’m going to put together a bookcase tonight!” And Will says, “Do you need help? Me man, me build things while woman watch!” And Emily says, “Yeah!”


Just follow my instructions.


…And you’ll end up like this. (EEEE!)

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