Well hello there horror fans/Paulson fans/Lange fans/masochists! This episode hurtles along at the breakneck speed of a body-cart through the death chute, so let’s jump right in.
First we rendezvous with the presumed Son of Bloodyface, whose whole life seems to be one long, dark night of the soul. But side note: can anyone else believe that Dylan McDermott is fifty-one years old? Do we have someone following him to see where he is keeping his fountain of youth/stash of unicorn blood? Because damn. Anyway he is sitting around in his beat to hell version of his father’s bachelor pad, smoking pot when the prostitute he ordered arrives.
She seems like a really nice, albeit woefully unobservant person and like Liam Neeson she has “a very specific set of skills”
She’s packing DDDs and they are loaded with breast milk, which seems to be an unhealthy preoccupation for this show. Like (again, supposedly) his father before him, Bloodyface Jr. can’t wait to…er…suckle, although the boob shot itself is censored, which brings up an interesting thing about American broadcasting law.
This season we have seen all manner of blood, guts, rape, torture, mutants, and murders, all of which are graphically and legally depicted, but when it comes to a friendly little thing like a nipple, it’s “OH MY GOD CENSOR IT WE MUST PROTECT THE CHILDREN.”
What a country.
Back at Briarcliff, Dr. Thredson cheerfully wakes Kit up to take him for a visit with his son. Kit, as usual, is confused.
This makes as much sense as anything Kit has heard lately, so he goes right ahead playing daddy with Grace. He does ask her what happened while she was aboard the S.S. Probe-Fingers
And sure enough, right on cue, a bunch of nuns show up and take the baby to Saint Brutus’ Secure Center for Incurably Alien Babies.
Meanwhile, Lana is hard at work in the bakery (“Briarcliff treats: they’re CRAZY good”) when the Mother Superior show up to sneak her out. Lana takes Thredson’s taped confession and her patient file, and promises Sistah Jude that she will return to rescue her, and then breezes off. She’s nearly spotted by Thredson but Kit distracts him, forever earning his place in my heart. By the time Thredyface realizes that the lesbian who just whisked past him is Lana, it’s too late.