“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (3.14): My roommate and I only play softball together, and other white lies


Obligatory murder montage: cheerleaders, carwash, bros, stabs, suds, blood. Good, now that that is over with, Det. Jane Rizzoli is in softball gear and lesbian everywhere sigh and smile. She is headed out for practice with Frost and Frankie when they run into Frost’s mom in the lobby. Make that Frost’s mom and her adult female roommate and her son. Yeah, her “roommate.” Set Lesbian Spidey Sense to full tingle.

Before the whole “roommate” situation can be addressed, something even gayer happens. Dr. Maura Isles and her medical examiner crew spill out of the elevator in flouncy cut-off lab coat softball uniforms with cinched waists. I should put “softball uniforms” in quotes like I did “roommate” because, please, we’re not blind.

Jane notices the tag still dangling off of Maura’s obviously brand-new glove and shakes her head at her inability to instill even the most basic of lesbian sporting principles in her girlfriend. All those hours of talking about how to properly oil and break in a good glove and she brings that stiff monstrosity out.

Jane tries basic evasive maneuvers, all, “But the season’s almost over, better luck next year.” Maura is not deterred. She knows when Jane is trying to dodge her, because girlfriends have a sixth sense for any such deceptions. Also for when Jane forgets to take out the garbage. Maura asks if Jane is really going to prejudge all her scientific colleagues’ softball skills. As Frost and Frankie (aw, Frostie forever) do bad cough talking (“Don’t.” Cough. “Let.” Cough. “The Nerds.” Cough. “Play.”), Jane is stuck between her lesbros and a hard-eyed girlfriend when, ring ring, murder saves the day. But just when Jane thinks she’s off the hook Maura shoots back at her, “We’re not done here.”

Our car wash murder victim was a famous former Boston Cambridge University running back. Maura, of course, knows him as a famous “dessertier.” He had a successful cake business in Boston. But enough about dumb murder business and back to softball. Maura pesters Jane, asking is she can play if she practices her swing “in that cagey thing.” Jane cringes the cringe of a million sporty dykes and corrects her, “It’s called a batting cage, please, have I taught you nothing in all of our time together?”

Before full-blown processing over sports feelings can occur, Jane spots Lt. Col. Beard Force in the lobby. Look, buddy, a grateful nation thanks you for your service, but stop showing up around Jane. The good news is, he isn’t there to see Jane, but Korsak. Jane gives her girlfriend the, “Let me clear up this awkward encounter with my beard and then we’ll snuggle” look, and awkward encounter ensues.

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