“Chicago Fire ” recap (1.10): “Bitch please.”


Previously on Chicago Fire — oh who cares? It’s all leading to the Shawson cliffhanger. Let’s just hold hands as we get through it together and try to relax until January is here.

The episode opens with Cruz walking into an empty warehouse in his turnouts to meet with Flaco, the head of Leon’s gang. When Cruz doesn’t have the ten thousand dollars Flaco wants to let Leon out of the gang Flaco shoots Leon. Thankfully, it’s a dream and Cruz wakes up in the firehouse.

Swagger alert: It’s the lovely Shawson ladies sauntering into the firehouse. Shay tells Peter Mills that the Christmas lights blew off the house and he says he’ll fix it. Shay cracks “oh, it’s the firefighter who saved Christmas,” and I fall in love with her a little more. Peter Mills scurries off with a simple “as you wish.” Dawson talks to Shay about who she should invite to her cousin’s party. Shay skips the obvious answer in which she puts up her hand, hops up and down, and says “pick me, pick me. I look amazing in a dress.” Dawson is worried that if she asks Mills he’ll get the wrong idea. Shay, ever the voice of reason, wonders why Dawson won’t ask Casey since family parties are usually reserved for “serious suitors.” Dawson hems and haws about who to ask to the Sadie Hawkins dance and Shay asks if she’s worried that Casey will say no. Dawson rolls her eyes and actually says “bitch, please.” Apparently Dawson’s mirror does work and she knows she fiiiiiine.

Leon drops by the fire house and Cruz warns him that the daily police report says that there is supposed to be increased gang violence so that Leon will stay away. Leon gets a touch mouthy for someone who had his ass kicked in the last episode and tells Cruz to just pay Flaco the money if he wants Leon to leave the gang. Woah, now. That’s some kind of crappy talk from a guy riding the same bike I had when I was eight.

Everyone is called out to a fire in a fancy house. The lady of the house was cooking something that caught on fire. While the ladies fix up her burnt hand the gents head inside to put the fire out with a fire extinguisher and notice that the house is filled with art and fanciness. Everyone is immediately called away and as they leave Mrs. Fancy-Pants runs out and tells the Chief that her $50,000 diamond necklace is missing. In the immortal words of Gabriela Dawson, “bitch, please.”

Internal Affairs is at the fire house to greet our heroes and Casey gets all cranky with a guy who looks to be the love child of Percy Weasley and Draco Malfoy. He’s been sent by the Ministry to be a condescending prick and is doing a bang-up job of it.

Do you see this prefect’s badge? it means I’m a weasel with power

Severide has the squad truck make a quick stop so he can drop off flowers for Renee, who is working from home. She makes a crack about him expecting to find her checking emails in her underwear. Let’s all take a moment to ponder that tableau. Anyway, Severide calls her “Royce” as he asks her to dinner. It is weird and really gay. Show of hand from everyone who ever dated someone who you called by her last name for a while until your friends told you it was weird and made you stop? No? Just me? Fine. Moving on.

Dawson and Shay are sitting in the principal’s office and Dawson wants to know what Shay has against Mills. Shay just thinks he’s kind of like a puppy dog, and we all know her tastes are more feline *ahem.* Dawson says something about him being a puppy with some wolf and I feel a little queasy. Thankfully the Chief rescues us all from more of Dawson’s lupine thoughts about Mills. He tells our ladies that four vials of Toradol were reported missing from their rig. Dawson is surprised but Shay looks guilty as hell. She knows just where they went, right into the shoulder of one Kelly Severide. Because Dawson is in charge the loss of the meds is her problem. Shay gets twitchy, which the Chief absolutely notices and tells them to get their story straight before they come back to him.

Otis has decided that the necklace theft is actually an insurance scam and tells Casey who brushes him off.

Shay tries to talk to Severide about the missing vials and he is a class “A” jerk about it. He is all “it’s not my problem that you risked your job to give me drugs so my I could keep my job.”

Shay is contractually obligated to make this pissed off face every episode.

Shay, being the bad ass that she is says “yeah you got what you needed so I guess it’s not your problem,” and walks away. Severide, I am invoking the bro code and taking your card back. Lesbro status DENIED.

Everyone is called out to a drive-by shooting. Two people are dead and another who was caught in the crossfire is injured. Cruz looks frantically for his brother before seeing Flaco roll through the scene in a car that the show is borrowing from a Dr. Dre video. Cruz immediately calls his brother and offers to help if Leon will just get away from Flaco.

This episode had so much Shawson in it made me really nervous. I mean, it’s kind of like when everything was going so well for Cat and Frankie and Sam and then — oh right. Anyway.

Shay tells Dawson she should ask Casey because, ok there is no good reason because the best chemistry on the show is between Dawson and Shay. I’m not just saying that because they are two hot ladies who should make out in every episode. Fine, maybe I am. These two characters have more chemistry than Dawson and Casey, which is not a knock on the actors, it’s just not the same crackle. So Chicago Fire, stop trying to make “fetch” happen, OK?

Shay tells Dawson to ask Casey and then she tells Dawson where she should go to buy a new dress. Yes, here she is Leslie Shay, tough little lesbian who knows where to buy a lady a dress. How is she single?

Dawson walks into the fire house and heads toward to Mills, who drops his tennis ball at her feet and waits to have his ears scratched like the golden retriever that he is, before Dawson turns away and sits next to Casey. Dawson makes a cock-up of asking Casey on the date and tries to play it off like they will just be going as friends. He suggests if it’s a friend she wants she should take Mouch but if it’s a date he’ll be happy to pick her up. Dawson books it out of the room with Shay and says she’ll definitely need a new dress.

Percy is asking everyone to turn out their pockets before he searches their lockers for the stolen necklace. He makes a crack about Casey’s mom, which is apparently just the sort of thing that made Casey knock him out when they were classmates in the academy.

More Shawson and my level of dread is reaching record levels. I haven’t felt this nervous since Callie and Arizona were taking that car trip together — oh, right.

Shay’s lounging in a chair like a teenage boy who has been dragged shopping until Dawson steps out of the fitting room.

Shay puts her eyeballs back in her head and says “Damn girl, if you wear that dress, I’ll be your date.” Dawson says “no, I feel naked” and Shay says, “It’s perfect.”

Damn girl!

Shay tells the dress shop lady that Dawson will take it, but Dawson says no and the two of them are called out before they can argue about whether she’ll get the dress or not.

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