“The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons” recap (1.9): “The Chronicles of Nanyia”

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The episode starts off with team San Diego, which had become the laughingstock of the house due to their dysfunctional behavior, agreeing to put aside their differences and work together as a team.

Then the house gets a clue from TJ. “Wake up!” screams Frank to the rest of the cast members, who are inexplicably lying on the ground pretending to be asleep. Frank tells the faux-sleepy crew: “Don’t abandon your teammates if you want to win this challenge. Wear your team uniforms and bathing suits and be ready to leave at 8:45 a.m.”

The next morning, the teams are given their challenge, “Abandon Ship.” The teams must grab three buoys underwater and then inflate a life raft and race to the shore. St. Thomas and Las Vegas both struggle to get the buoys. Robb from St. Thomas cannot swim far enough to get the 25 foot buoy, and Trishelle from Las Vegas starts panicking, so Alton from Las Vegas swims in her place, incurring a five minute penalty. Meanwhile, newly energized San Diego leaves everyone in the dust, coming in first place and becoming the new power team.

St. Thomas comes in last place. “We just sucked,” concludes Robb.

Back at the house, Las Vegas becomes the new San Diego, with Dustin and Trishelle trading barbs. Alton tells Dustin that Trishelle is acting like a spoiled little girl, and Trishelle tells Dustin that he is being disrespectful. As expected, San Diego sends Las Vegas to the arena against St. Thomas in an endurance challenge.

Then all hell breaks loose. Nany starts screaming. Frank starts screaming. He tells us, “When you don’t act like a lady you’re going to get berated, because you’re being a fat fucking bitch.” Someone should tell Frank to look up “fat” on dictionary.com, because if Nany is fat, I’m Jesus Christ. Then Marie decides to back up her homegirl Nany and jumps into the fray. Derek starts stomping around and popping off, and ends up pushing Robb over a hedge. Marie’s eyes become as big as saucers and she tells us, “Uh, hello. I am not going to sit here and let you push my man around!” Marie shoves Derek, and Derek falls into Sam, who falls over a large potted plant.

Things calm down, but the peace is short lived. A few minutes later, Dustin and Frank start yelling at each other. Eventually, the altercation gets physical, and they have to be pulled apart. Then Dustin punches Frank in the face. Did the producers dump PCP into their drinking water? Finally, Alton retreats to his bunk, telling Trishelle he is sick of being around a bunch of kids and that he cannot wait to leave the house. Trishelle thinks Alton is going to throw the challenge so she asks Dustin to go into the arena with her.

At the arena, in a surprise twist of events, Nany volunteers herself for Vegas, and Alton jumps in after her. Dustin and Trishelle start squabbling on the sidelines, as the elimination challenge “balls out” begins. Alton is unmotivated, and St. Thomas wins the first round. Dustin tells Nany and Alton he does not want to get stuck with Trishelle alone, and Las Vegas wins round two. Then after a heated third round, St. Thomas wins by one. Nany and Alton are going home.

About Trishelle, Alton tells Dustin, “Forgive her, bro.”

“Never,” says Dustin.

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