When you hear the term “lesbian stalker,” it’s usually referencing someone you or your friend broke up with that you just can’t get away from. Well I’m sorry to say but lesbian communities are oh-so-small, my friends, and we’re all someone’s crazy ex. But sometimes there are legitimate stalkers who send Ellen Page creepy letters or sit outside Kerry Katona‘s house. I’d like to think these people aren’t truly lesbian but just women who are weirdly obsessed with celebrities. But that doesn’t mean true lesbian stalkers don’t exist in the wonderful world of film and TV tropes! In fact, the obsessive gay woman that is willing to go to any length to have what she wants is quite popular. And because it’s that time of year when you like to cuddle up with your closest ladyfriend and watch a scary story, how about one of these true nuts? Leslie (Kristy Swanson) followed her ex Jerry (Maile Flanagan) to the Dinah where she popped up behind the bar and later hid outside of her hotel room. She befriends Maeve Quinlan‘s character during a game of golf to try and get even closer to Jerry. Good tactics! Eva Green was the ultimate creepy teacher in this boarding school film where she takes a shine to a new Spanish pupil and eventually takes advantage of her when she’s passed out drunk. She’s fired after the school finds out and the movie ends with viewers seeing she’s cray cray after a life of being thrust into boarding schools with too many rules and not enough real life situations. When Lydia’s ex-girlfriend Sarah reveals she slept with her best friend Zoe, Lydia weaves a web of lies to keep Sarah close. She tells Zoe that Sarah tried to kill herself and later sabotaged a parachute Zoe was using for jumping out of an airplane. Eventually she succeeds in killing Sarah and is charged with both that murder and attempted murder of Zoe. What a true nut! Rebecca (Leighton Meester) really wanted Sara (Minka Kelly) to be her best friend, and she wasn’t above going to a lesbian bar and making out with gay friend Danneel Harris to eventually tie her to a bed and lure Sara to her apartment. A Lifetime movie worth watching, Beth (Dina Meyer) becomes disillusioned in her marriage and falls for another woman, Finn, online. But Beth gets cold feet about the relationship and Finn (Claudette Mink) pulls out all the stops to blackmail the object of her obsession, including turning her own family against her. Amanda Seyfried played a hooker with a heart of obsession in this thriller where she pretended to seduce Julianne Moore‘s husband but really just wanted to sleep with Julianne again and again and again. Judi Dench played a repeat offender in the film adaptation from a novel of the same name. Her character kept a journal of everything she did, which included showing up to Cate Blanchett‘s house unannounced, watching her through doorways in the school where they worked and sabotaging her personal and professional lives. The number one way to effectively stalk an ex is to make a sign with their photo on it, warning all future lovers of their heartbreaking ways. Tammy Lynn Michaels FTW!
