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“Once Upon A Time” recap: “We Are Both” (2.2)

Previously on Once Upon A Time, the curse was broken, we found out the Enchanted Forest was destroyed but for a small corner, and a magic hat separated our beloved Swan Queen.

We start with the Seven Dwarves, who have taken it upon themselves to investigate what happens when you leave Storybrooke. They shove Sneezy across the line and he has what looks to be a magic seizure.

Meanwhile, in the town square, Ruby’s feeling the pressure of being the only badass chick left in Storybrooke on Team Charming.

She tries to maintain some semblance of order while the townspeople are running in circles trying to deal with their newly recovered memories and the aftermath of the wraith.

On the other side of town, David shows up at Regina’s door and tries to do the angry glaring his daughter has perfected while he demands answers. Regina all but laughs in his face because it’s like he forgets what she was capable of at full power.

We flash back to a time when Young Regina tried to escape on horseback, but Mommy Dearest had set up a Jumanji-style booby trap to keep her in the kingdom.

Mother Cora is determined to make her daughter the queen, she wants to give her power. Regina says that’s not what she wants, that she just wants freedom, but her mother says the two are one one in the same.

Later, Regina asks her father how her mother got to be so evil and he blames a man and a book. This snaps us back to present-day Regina tearing through Mr. Gold’s shop for said book like Paige McCullers looking for a coconut cupcake.

Gold confronts her and, after trying to out-evil each other for a while, he hands over the book in question. He warns her about the dangers of magic, but she insists. She also keeps saying it’s for her son over and over…to the point where I’m waiting for Gold to be like “Oh, just say it. You’re doing this for Emma.”

As it turns out, Regina had once used this very book to summon Rumpelstiltskin. He creeps around with his creepy gold skin and creepily tells her they belong together. Creepy.

Rumpelstiltskin offers Young Regina a gift, a passage between lands, a way to stop Cora. Young Regina looks nervous about the whole ordeal.

Future Regina is a lot less hesitant when it comes to magic, though. She does a line of magic dust off the spellbook and her eyes glow purple. Her apple tree comes back to life, but Emma and her chainsaw are nowhere to be found.

Across town, Grumpy and the gang shove a confused-looking Sneezy in front of Charming. Sneezy has no recollection of the Enchanted Forest – as though the curse had never been broken. Charming has quickly realized that he did not wear the pants in his relationship with Snow and is sort of fumbling for how to be in charge without her. He buys himself time by calling a town meeting in two hours and storms off to get ideas.

As Charming is practicing his hero speech in the mirror, Henry recognizes the magic hat, which sets David off to find the Mad Hatter. Henry whines after “Gramps” to take him in that frequency only the most annoying children can hit, but the request went unheard.

The Prince gets a magic potion from Rumpelstiltskin, which leads him to the Mad Hatter. He finds out the Enchanted Forest still exists, but even the portal jumper himself doesn’t know how to get back there. Mid-sentence, the Mad Hatter makes likes a cracker and jams. (Give me a break, we’re all mad here.)

In the town hall, while Ruby tries to keep everyone calm as they wait for the prince, Regina makes the grandest entrance of all entrances.

The Evil Queen is back and she means business. Regina catches an arrow in her bare hand  and magically sets it (and my heart) aflame.

Ruby bravely asks, “What do you want?!”  Henry weasels out and offers to go with Regina as long as she leaves them alone and she struts out like the badass evil biatch she is.

Prince Charming is outside chasing down the Mad Hatter when he is stopped by Ruby, who reminds him of the Epic Speech he promised the townspeople.

He eventually gives in to those stunning blue eyes and goes with her.

As soon as Regina and Henry get home, Henry tries to jump out a window, but like her mother, Regina has set up a booby trap to keep him in. They have a heart to heart, and Regina tries to tempt him to stay with the promise of magic and two mommies cupcakes, but he says he doesn’t want to be like her.

On Young Regina’s wedding day, Cora opens the gift Rumple has left – a looking glass. Regina tries to push her mother through it, but Cora stopped her with magic. Using the power of a lifetime of mommy issues, Regina breaks through the magic and shoves Cora into the mirror.

On the edge of town, the Prince makes a speech about accepting both their storybook selves AND Storybrooke selves and promises the queen won’t hurt them. Though, “as long as I’m alive” is usually a way to sign one’s own death warrant, so sweet David might be doomed. But his speech is Ruby approved, so for now it’s okay.

Still high off the success of his speech, Prince Charming and his sword gallivant to the mayor’s house. But before he can use it, Regina tells Henry that she doesn’t want to keep him there like a prisoner. He’s free to stay with Grandpa Charming, but she plans to redeem herself.

Regina’s trying to turn over a new leaf, but isn’t quite ready to burn her bridges yet, so she tucks the spellbook into a secret safe instead of tossing it in the fire.

And FINALLY, we see Emma and Mary Margaret…being dragged like slaves to the ends of the Enchanted Forest. Mulan leads them to a little village, and when they get there, Snow White kicks them free and they try to make a run for it. Mulan knocks her out by chucking a giant ball and chain at her and throws them into a pit. Someone calls out to them from the shadows and when Emma asks who it is, she introduces herself…as Cora!

What did you think of “We Are Both”?

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