“Pretty Dirty Secrets” recap: Ghosts in the machine!

This week’s Pretty Dirty Secrets webisode doesn’t feature much in the way of action or dialogue — it’s only 80 seconds long with zero words spoken — but it does offer up some big clues that Shana is working for the man named Boo Radley Van Cullen. (Toby. She’s working for Toby.) (And/or Mona.) See, Shana is just sitting through one of her shifts at Halloween Expo, just waiting around to see what kind of tomfoolery the citizens of Rosewood will engage in today. Will it be a confrontation between a ninja ghost doppelganger and a boy with laser eyes? Will it be a nerd and a zombie feeling each other up in the fitting room? Will it be Noel Kahn’s unblinking, always smiling face, suggesting various ways Shana could slut it up for All Hallow’s Eve? Or will it just be a flock of abnormally gorgeous teenagers shouting their top secret business at the top of their lungs into their iPhones?

None of those things, sadly. Shana hammers out a text message and then be-bops off to do whatever it is Halloween store employees do with their time. (Try on all the superhero costumes if it were me.) And while she’s gone, her phone comes alive! And here’s what we learn:

1) She’s been taking/texting photos of the Halloween costumes purchased by Hanna Marin and Aria Montgomery. And good thing, too, because how else would “A” recognize them in these face-altering get-ups? (First two pictures from the webisode, last picture from the Halloween special promo.)

2) She’s been receiving calls from a Blocked Number. (Radley Institute for the Criminally Insane, duh.)

3) She’s been chatting with — wait for it — Paige. Ruh roh, new girl! Don’t make me be the one to kill you!

Does this mean “A” is actually going to go after Aria? Does it mean that Shana is creeping on Paige? Does it mean that Shana is the stalker who stalked the stalker Nate and now she’s going to pretend to be Maya’s second cousin’s step-sister’s dog walker and gullible Emily is going to believe her? Whatever it means, it’s October! Hurry up, Halloween! (You can watch the full episode of Pretty Dirty Secrets at ABCFamily.com.

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