“Grey’s Anatomy” recap: “Going, Going, Gone” (9.1)

Welcome to the Season 9 premiere of Grey’s Anatomy. Last season’s cliffhanger stranded half of Seattle Grace’s staff in the woods of Idaho after a plane crash. As we awaited the fate of Arizona, Mark, Meredith, Derek and Cristina we said goodbye to Lexie Grey.

This episode picks up a month after their rescue. Seattle Grace is crawling with a batch of new interns, Mark is in a coma and Arizona is nowhere in sight. This can’t be good.

The episode jumps back and forth in time showing glimpses of Mark’s life. We go from present day 2012 to 1994, Derek’s wedding day to Addison. Mark and Derek talk before Derek takes his vows then we skip to 2007, where Mark is trying to convince Callie to make a sex tape as they lie in bed together and make out. (Ummm, wrong audience.) Luckily for Sofia (and everyone else watching), Callie knocks the camera over with a pillow and their love-making is not recorded.

Back in present time, the interns are running around the hospital in fear of Meredith, who they have nicknamed Medusa. A happily partnered Bailey has traded in her Nazi nickname and is now being referred to as BCB, Booty-Call-Bailey, since she’s always glowing when her fiance Ben shows up for some afternoon delight. As Alex gets ready to skip town for John Hopkins he sows his oats with as many interns as he can gather into the on call room. (I hope he’s using condoms.)

The new peds Attending shows up which begs the question, where the hell is Arizona? When the new Attending meets Callie he says, “I’m so sorry, I heard about your wife.” Callie responds with a short “Thank you”  and then races off to a closet to cry. (Like many of you, if Jessica Capshaw is killed off I’m boycotting this show.)

Mark has been in a coma for 30 days and his living will states that after 30 days he will be taken off life support. The staff watches the clock as 5 p.m. approaches, the time they will turn off Mark’s machines.

Richard said, “Mark wanted to be let go. That’s all we’re doing. Honoring his wish.”

Hoping to stir Mark, Callie whispers sweet nothings into his ears (about her boobs) hoping he would open his eyes but alas he doesn’t move. If breasts don’t wake Mark up, I fear nothing will.

Callie repairs Derek’s mangled hand and clears him for surgery although he’s not 100%. Derek tries to operate to keep his mind off losing his best friend and in the middle of the surgery his hand goes numb and he storms out of the operating room.

Cristina has high tailed it out of Seattle and is now working at Henry Mayo in Minnesota. It’s cold and the staff believes in team work, a concept foreign to the independent Dr. Yang. Cristina and Meredith are having a skype-only relationship since Cristina refuses to board a plane for a visit. (I don’t blame her.) It’s kind of funny to watch Meredith carry around Cristina’s floating head on her iPad. (Max Headroom anyone?)

Mark is still flashing back and forth in time. We now see him video taping a sweet message at Callie and Arizona’s wedding and then we jumping in time to see him train his Mark Jr. aka Avery.  At 5 p.m. all the doctors look at the clock and Derek and Callie sit next to Mark as Richard takes him off life support. (Personally I think Sofia should be there lying on her father’s chest before he passes away.)

Meredith is overwhelmed with grief and heads to the airport to fly off and visit Cristina. Alex and Owen are also heading out of town although Alex and Meredith miss their flights and meet up at the airport bar. (These kids need an intervention.) Yep, Alex isn’t going to Hopkins because he’s determined to keep Arizona’s peds program running the way she would want it to. Owen continues on his way and arrives at a farm pleading with April to come back to work. (I forgot April was even missing.) April, let go of that pig and put on some scrubs!

Callie returns home and reveals that Arizona is alive and hiding out in their bedroom. (Oh thank God!) Callie pleads with her to snap out of it and help her with Sofia.

Callie: Get up! Get the hell out of bed and snap out of this because Sofia lost a parent and I lost my best friend!
Arizona: Snap out of it! How the hell am I supposed to snap out of it when you cut off my leg?

Arizona throws the covers off and reveals her amputated leg and I stare at the TV with my mouth agape. Seriously, I did not see this coming, did you?

Now we have to say goodbye to Dr. Mark “McSteamy” Sloane 1968-2012. (Will you miss him?)

We have to tune in next week to see the blow-by-blow of what actually went down in the woods. I have a feeling there will be a lot of blood, sweat and tears and I’m not looking forward to it.

Here’s what’s in store for next week’s episode.

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