Last week on Project Runway, we played a weird form of musical chairs: Andrea left! Then Kooan left! Then Raul came back! Then Buffi was eliminated! Then I passed out! Luckily, I think the drama level for this episode will cool slightly back to normal.
Although perhaps not, as we soon learn it’s going to be a group challenge this week, which are always the worst. As evidenced by three of the contestants then saying, “I don’t like working with others! GRRR HULK ANGRRYYYY.” Okay, maybe they didn’t say it exactly like that, but it was close. They are full of rage and disappointment already, which is always a great way to start your work day!
On top of that, their primary client is going to be Nina Garcia for Marie Claire magazine. Okay, Marie Claire At Work magazine, which I guess is a thing. Since the ladies who just read the regular magazine don’t work. Duh.
As soon as Nina comes out, all the designers’ faces turn white and slack-jawed in horror. Seriously, not one of them looks happy. I personally want to cheer every time this fierce specimen of a woman is on the screen. Nina Garicia 4 Life.
She explains that they’ll be working in two teams to create collections for the “working woman.” Which of course means “working woman who only specifically works in fancy offices. Sorry, the rest of y’all!” But I digress. Sonjia is called up first as she won last week’s challenge, so she gets to choose the first person to be on her team. And hence begins the wretched choosing game. I hate whenever this happens on Project Runway, and what I really mean is that I hate whenever this happens in life ever. As the last people to get chosen sit and nervously wait for someone to please God choose them, it’s uncomfortable for everyone all around. There’s a reason most sane people don’t want to ever go back to high school. Gunnar and Raul end up being the last chosen to each team respectively, and not shockingly, they both seem pissed about it.
So we end up with a Team of Six:
And an uber-manly Team of Five:
Team 6 has most of my faves–Sonjia, Alicia, Dmitry—but also the strongest clashing personalities which are going to result in a classic shitshow. This becomes obvious from the get-go when they sit down to hammer out ideas for the collection and Raul decides to take a “I am going to disagree with everything anyone says, because I am defensive about being in the bottom and already getting kicked off this show once and you bitches picked me last for your team and I am angry, so there!” stance. Which is always a fun and mature stance! No, just kidding, it’s awful.
Team 5 meanwhile is whipping up ideas like they are The Greatest Of All Time And We All Know It, Ha Ha Ha! Well, Except For Gunnar, Who We Really Wish Wasn’t Here! Ha Ha!
Off to Mood. Coordinating fabrics within large groups of people for a plethora of different looks in an extremely small amount of time seems like hell. If I had to do it, I would probably resort to saying, “You guys do it!,” while I curled up in a fetal position with Swatch. Exhibit #343 of why I should never be on a reality TV show.
When we return to the workroom, the drama starts happening right away when Elena realizes they are missing a bag from Mood containing some important wool she needed for a jacket. Hence commences an entire episode of Elena freaking the hell out about things. Christopher says, “I feel like she’s just escaped from the woods. She is an animal right now,” which I want to take as a rude comment, but which in fact is rather accurate. Just assume that for the rest of the episode, she will be zooming around the workroom, yelling and cursing with a random shout of “I hate this!” every now and then, while Raul continues to be an asshole about things, and you have a pretty accurate picture of Team 6.
However, when Tim comes in to check on their progress, Team 6 actually, somehow, has more work done than the Cool and Collected Team 5 does, and their work looks good, too. Whereas Tim questions a lot of the material choices Team 5 has made. So who knows! Team 6 could make it work!
As they’re criticizing each other’s looks in the workroom—everyone’s favorite activity!—Dmitry gives the best line of the episode. I’m not exactly sure of Dmitry’s background, but while he lives in New York, he clearly has a Eastern European/Russian accent. Whilst discussing the other team, he calls Ven a “one way monkey.” After which he pauses for a second, as if he knows that doesn’t sound right, and then clarifies: “One trick pony! One tricky pony, that’s what I meant.” One way monkey! That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day! I think I sort of love Dmitry.
After the day in the workroom, there’s also an added element to this challenge. Before the runway, the groups have to direct a photo shoot with their models. They’ll show three photos from the shoot to the judges, which will also factor into the judges’ decision. I haven’t seen this before, and it’s sort of interesting as a skill you might indeed have to have as a designer, to be able to coordinate and direct these things. Once again, Team 5 seems to be working well on their shoot.
And once again, Team 6 is not. Perhaps it’s the stress of runway day, but Elena has really taken her Cray Cray Control Freak tempo up to high frequency.
She even starts yelling at the hairdressers and makeup artists that they’re not working on the models fast enough! Whoa! Girl needs to take a deep breath. There is a lot of stress about props. Raul wants them! Elena doesn’t! Everyone wants to punch each other! I do agree with Elena, though, that the props seem cheesy. But her stress level isn’t helping anyone.
In order to help us all decompress, let’s take a moment and just stare at this picture of Sonjia and that lovely midriff. And that cute thing on your head. I can’t with you. But you know, now that I think about it, Melissa is looking pretty fine, too. Hadn’t noticed all those tattoos before, and those bracelets–there is just something about a good arm tattoo combined with some good chunky bracelets. Anytime I see this combo in action, I want to yell, “You work those arms, girl!”
But onto the runway! Our guest judge this week is the editor in chief of Marie Claire, Joanna Coles. Oh man, Joanna Coles. She’s been a guest judge on Project Runway many, many times, and she is terrifying. I basically picture her as a real life Meryl Streep from The Devil Wears Prada. She obviously knows what’s she doing, and often gives good critiques, but lady can be meeeean.
After the runway show, here’s Team 5’s collection all together:
And Team 6’s:
Even if they had more interpersonal drama, I like Team 6’s so much more. That floral pattern that Team 5 chose—blech. But in the end, there’s no winning or losing team, because the scores for both equaled in a tie. So anyone from either team could win or lose.
For Team 6, our girl Alicia is given high praise once again for the two pants she made, one wide and one skinny.
They’re great pants, and I love the blue heels with the skinny one. Here’s the thing about Alicia: She is so quiet and pleasant! She contributes her ideas while still working well with others; she just sits down and does her thing and is never part of any drama. For that reason, she’s kind of faded to the background while, for instance, Elena and Raul are screaming at each other, or Christopher is being everyone’s best friend. But I think she’s going to be a silent killer–she’s just going to keep making good stuff and keep advancing until, boom, she’s one of the final contestants. At least I hope that’s how it goes.
Since I mentioned Christopher, I also have to apologize for referring to him as Michael throughout the entirety of last week’s recap. Haha, remember that time? That was weird! In my defense, he does eerily resemble Michael Costello from Season 8, so maybe my brain got confused.
Michael Costello:
Christopher:
I mean, am I right, or am I right?
But back to the runway. The other horrid thing with group challenges is that Heidi always asks the team members to name the “weakest link” on the team. This is even more awkward than the picking and choosing of the team members at the beginning. Team 5, not surprisingly, chooses Gunnar, who they have been picking on all episode. I have to say that Gunnar has been doing his best to suppress all his hurt feelings all episode; he could have made much more drama. But still, womp, womp, sorry Gunnar. I have a feeling you’re still safe.
For Team 6, some blame Elena, but most blame Raul. Raul and Elena most especially blame each other. Awkward times for all!
In cheerier, less tension-filled news, Melissa ends up winning this week, as she very much deserved for her fabulous blue dress. I feel like we haven’t gotten to know Melissa very well until this point—well, until the arm-tattoos/bracelets incident of a few moments ago—but she’s starting to step out as having serious potential.
When the eliminating of the bottom designers gets down to the wire, it comes down to Gunnar and Raul, once again, strangely reminiscent of the beginning of the episode. And for a second time, it ends up being Raul’s time to pack up.
Here’s where the episode gets strange. As Raul heads to the back room, he greets his former fellow designers as most eliminated designers do, saying “It’s okay, it’s cool, great experience, blah blah.” And then he feels compelled to turn to Elena, who is sitting on the couch with an intense expression on her face as always, and he says, dead serious:
“I hate your ass.”
He then proceeds to hug other designers, to whom he continues to tell that they need to get her ass out of there, seriously. There was so much cursing and bleeping throughout this though that I don’t know exactly what he was going on about.
Listen.
Elena is a strong-willed woman. I don’t deny that she is over-the-top at times, particularly in this episode. She’s also Ukrainian. She also clearly cares a lot about her work. She stresses because she cares so much. She is also good at her job, while Raul is clearly not. She has also shown that when she is able to calm down, she can laugh at herself. She is human. And no one deserves to have such vitriolic hate spewed at them. On TV. What the hell. I’ve never seen someone leave the show in such an immature, harsh manner. The thing that makes Project Runway such a good reality show is that it’s normally classier than this, which is why this seems so surprising. You should have never come back, Raul. Seriously. You need to stop being a horrible person.
The worst part is that no one stands up for her. Gunnar, who is sitting next to her, starts giggling, because I think he secretly really loves the drama. In defense of everyone else, I think they were all too shocked. I wish that Tim Gunn could have been in the room to see it, or have heard about it, because Tim Gunn would not have put up with that bullshit. I’m hoping that in the beginning of the next episode, there’s some conversation about it. If there’s not, I’m going to continue feeling rage-y about it. Because here’s the thing:
It needs to stop being okay for strong-willed women to be hated on and called bitches on TV. Criticism is often a good thing; flat-out illogical hatred when it threatens a man is not. It is not okay.
But for now, moving on: It appears that next week’s challenge will involve “real life” women as clients. And, as happens anytime the designers have to work with women who aren’t size 0 models, it appears they will be complaining a lot and probably being really insensitive to the women in the process! Oh, goody. I can feel my rage meter starting to flare up again already!
What did you think of this week’s designs? This week’s dramas? Are you also fighting an urge to punch Raul in the face, or is it just me?
