“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (3.09): And baby makes three

It’s a beautiful day in gayborhood. The sun is shining. The sky is blue. The butch Boston homicide detective is wearing heels and bought a purse. The things we do for love. Jane is, of course, complaining that she can’t believe Maura got her to wear heels and buy a purse. It’s called girlfriend appeasement and it just makes your life so much easier.

Maura tries to make her girlfriend feel better by calling the purse a “convertible satchel.” A rose is a rose is a purse, honey. You’re not fooling anybody. Jane walks into Maura’s place only to stop dead in her tracks because it looks like a Babies R Us threw up in the living room. Shocked and a little panicked, Jane asks Maura, “Is there something you want to tell me?”

Maura assures her that, no, the finger condoms did not break. It’s all Mama Rizzoli’s doing. She is throwing a baby shower for Lydia. Yes, the Lydia who knew both her wayward ex-husband and her wayward ex-con son in a biblical way. Can I have “Things That Are a Bad Idea” for $500 please, Alex.

Mama R asks Maura if it’s OK to throw the baby shower at her place. Jane is all, “Are you crazy? No. No. I wore heels for you. No.” But Maura relents. Then Jane goes after her mom, saying Lydia’s mom should be the one doing all this. Mama R calls Lydia’s mom “unreliable” in a hushed whisper. Which sets off Jane’s freeloader Spidey senses. Maura asks where she is registered and Jane tells her, “Mouchers R Us.” Let me tell you, getting shoppers to leave that store is a bitch.

Sure enough, the Moucher in Chief herself pops into the house like she lives there. Jane introduces herself, and Maura. The last time they met Lydia was a little busy being passed out. But she says she remembers the lesbian couple quite clearly. Maura inquires about her gestational diabetes, which is under control except when her sugars spike or sink. So then basically the opposite of under control. Jane would love to hear more but it’s murder on the phone for Rizzoli & Dr. Isles.

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