TV

“The Glee Project” recap: “A very lesbian week.” (Ep. 209)

It’s lesbian week on The Glee Project! It’s lesbian week on The Glee Project! Okay, so it’s “romanticality” week. Right, whatever – it’s lesbian week!

We start the episode with the remaining contestants discussing their thoughts and desires for the rest of the show, which is quickly getting down to the wire. Michael says to the camera, “I don’t want to sound cocky, I don’t want to sound arrogant, but…I’m really proud of how far I’ve gotten.” I know I’ve complained a bit about the final two boys in the competition, but right now I want to reach through the TV and give Michael a hug. You see, Michael, being cocky would be, “I know without a doubt that I am going to win this thing because I am the best,” which is a thing other contestants are saying. But being proud of yourself? That’s just being proud of yourself, buddy. And there is never anything wrong about that.

Robert comes in to announce the theme and this week’s homework song, which is the eternal early-90’s head-swaying hippie love jam, Extreme‘s “More Than Words.” Who doesn’t like this song? Fascists, that’s who. On top of this amazing choice, Nuno Bettencourt, one half of the Extreme duo, is going to be there for it, playing those familiar, soothing chords on his guitar! What! Also, who knew his name was Nuno! I didn’t! But I am so glad I know now! Because that is an amazing name!

When Robert leaves the kids to arrange the choreography and singing of the song by themselves per usual, a very interesting thing happens: they decide they should couple up for the performance. And they seem to choose the couples with a relatively small amount of awkwardness. And as there are only two guys left, one of the couples is Aylin and Lily.

This is why this is interesting: we all knew from the previews that there was going to be a romantical lesbian pairing between Aylin and Shanna during the music video this week. But since the ideas for the music videos are always pre-determined by the mentors, it’s never really the contestants; choice. So I was prepared to watch the their reactions to being told they had to be gay this week. But – alas! Here we see that the performers actually thought of it themselves first!

And from this first two-lady pairing on through the rest of the episode, how it was dealt with was so remarkable, in that it was treated like it was no big deal. Like, yeah, so some of us are going to be lesbians this week, whatevs. There was no, “Ugh, this is going to be uncomfortable,” or, “I don’t want to do this!” No giggling, no unsure glances, from anyone. Everyone was just like, “Bam, okay, this is what we’re going to do, and let’s do it well.” The mentors don’t make a big deal of it, either. Bless these kids who want to be on Glee: the gay thing is a complete non-issue. As it should be. It just feels strange, in a good way, to actually witness something being treated as it should be. Did you know children are our future?

While Aylin and Lily are made out to have this antagonistic rivalry on the show, I actually think their chemistry whenever they work together is great. They’re both big personalities and big talents, and accordingly, they make a dynamic duo. When they’re discussing how they’re going to act out their coupleness, Lily says they should end it with a kiss. Aylin is like, “Great idea!” The lesbians go, “For sure!” Although this is actually the second time Aylin and Lily have kissed this season – remember that spin the bottle episode way back when? Basically, they got this down.

Before the homework song performance, we’re introduced to this week’s mentor, Darren Criss, Glee‘s Blaine, or as my wife and I better know him as, That Guy Who Did The Amazing Harry Potter Musical. Any way you know him, he’s a charmer and I like his face.

And as promised, Nuno is there! He still has long hair, thank goodness! He seems genuinely excited to be there, which is adorable! And he references Robert losing his virginity to “More Than Words!” To which Robert basically goes, “Yup.” Oh, Robert. I can’t with this sudden vision of little gay you. Let’s cuddle.

The performance of this song is pretty good, although Darren only has really positive words for Blake and Ali. Michael and Shanna seemed stilted, and apparently Lily and Aylin’s lesbian performance was too “melodramatic.” I guess I can see this critique, but only a little. I mean, it’s a pretty dramatic song; I think their interpretation of it in their performance was mostly accurate. Also, have you ever met a lesbian before?

Shanna for some reason is also bringing out the bitchiness in this episode for the first time, whereas previously she has been Miss Sweet Girl. Perhaps winning all those homework assignments the past few weeks has gone to her head, but she states, “I don’t get negative feedback,” and then blames everything on Michael. Uh. Fact of life: everyone gets criticism? Calm down a little, Shanna.

Regardless, Blake finally wins a homework challenge, and they announce the big musical number, Rihanna‘s “We Found Love.” I am not embarrassed to admit that this song is my jam. This week is awesome.

Off to choreography we go, although Zach is absent this week because he’s working on the actual Glee. Psh. But it’s more than okay because in his place we get his co-choreographer Brooke, a girl with completely rad hair. To be honest, I don’t know how well the contestants do during this section because I can’t stop looking at this girl’s hair. Why is she and her hair not featured in every episode? The things you are keeping from us, Oxygen.

When we get to the recording studio with Nikki, the most notable thing that happens is we finally see Mr. Blake Man be less-than-perfect. As in, he is trying to sing harmony lines and they sound awful. Way awful. And he knows it. Obviously Nikki knows it; she always does. Egads. He eventually gets a not-as-awful recording, and we move on to the video shoot with Erik.

It’s all about Breakfast Club vibes for the video this week, as the set up is the couples rushing off to be super couple-y during detention. So, actually, less angsty philosophical conversations, more making out, but still, Breakfast Club-y. Ali and Blake are still coupled, which everyone else seems bitter about – particularly Lily, who is doing a super awkward “But Blake and I have chemistry and should be together” bit when they clearly don’t have chemistry, which makes me feel bad for her. I think Blake is just one of those blokes who is so naturally nice and genuine to everyone that anyone could think he was in love with them. In your defense, Lily, these people are so tricky in life and I don’t know why they exist. In any case, she is accordingly bummed to be assigned to Michael, who has unfortunately been delegated to this The Dude Who Isn’t Blake role in these last few weeks. Aylin, meanwhile, is still our #1 Fake Lesbian, paired now with Shanna for this go around.

As the shooting starts, for some reason the criticism hones in on Aylin and Shanna right away. The mentors keep saying their relationship isn’t believable, that they’re focusing too much on the dance moves and the acting rather than making it real. To be honest, I’m a little irked by this criticism. Do they see the eyes Aylin and Shanna are giving each other? The accurately giddy shy smiles? They are giving each other some serious eyes and some serious flirty smiles! And they keep touching each other’s faces in a very good face-touching way that may or may not be making me a little excited!

Also, why give them elaborate dance moves and then criticize them for carrying out those dance moves? And aren’t they supposed to be acting? What’s your deal, yo?

In more positive news, Ali has also decided that she wants to get out of her wheelchair for part of this shoot, since everyone else gets to do a sexy-on-the-floor scene, and she wants people in wheelchairs to know that they should get to do the sexy scenes, too. Word, Ali. I know her perkiness can be over the top, but she is kind of rocking these last few weeks. She is seriously working hard and doing good things. You go, girl.

When we view the final version of the video, I actually think all the couples have done a really great job. I imagine that acting out this type of romantic scenario with your fellow competitors, especially at their age and with such amateur acting skills, would be one of the most difficult and awkward tasks to accomplish. But they all seem to carry it out with a great deal of  professionalism. I don’t know if it’s just because everyone’s taking the competition more seriously than ever now, or if it’s just because they’re more decent actors than we may have given them credit for.

Regardless, everything is nice and sweet when they’re all flirting and kissing standing up, but when they sexy-on-the-floor times do happen, MAN, is it sexy-on-the-floor times! I actually said “Whoa” out loud to my screen. But, I mean – whoa! I only had detention once in my life, but it was definitely not like that, and I am retroactively bummed!

When it comes time for the reveal of the final three, some tough choices are made, and it’s whittled down to a somewhat surprising three: Blake, Aylin, and Shanna. Blake for his poor performance in the recording booth, Aylin and Shanna for their apparently unrealistic lesbian performance. You can tell they are all shocked to be there. And it’s true – they are three of the strongest contestants left. It’s weird to think one of them is going to leave. But when Shanna says that Michael deserved to be there more than any of them, I do want to tell her to stop whining, have humility, and stop crapping all over Michael, all right? He did a fine job, and I actually think his vocals sounded the best of everyone this week. Just focus on yourself, people. Focus!

Aylin is up first, singing an impressively tender version of “The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face” by Roberta Flack. She sounds great, as always, even though she forgets some of the words.

Blake is up next with “Losing My Religion,” and holy crap is he nervous! This is how he introduces himself: “Hi, I’m [DEEP BREATH] Blake, and [DEEP BREATH] I’m going to be [DEEP BREATH] singing [DEEP BREATH] Losing My [DEEP BREATH] Religion.” Ha! This makes the judges giggle, and I hate to say it, but it does make him even more endearing! If that was even possible! After he gets over the difficult task of introducing himself, however, he sounds solid.

And lastly we have Shanna, her first time in the bottom three. She bounces out boldly: bright dress, big curls. She’s singing Kelly Clarkson‘s “Stronger,” a song that really fits the power of her voice and she kills it, naturally.

Sadly, though, her discussion with Ryan Murphy afterwards goes a little more awkwardly, which I don’t believe is completely her fault. Before she came on stage, these were the conversations Ryan had already had:

Aylin: “I know I’ve said it before, but I love that you’re Muslim! You could be so empowering to so many girls! YOU ARE DIFFERENT!”

Blake: “You’re Blake. So.”

So when it comes to asking Shanna what will stand out about her on the cast of Glee, as a happy, multi-talented, straight white girl, Shanna really doesn’t have a LOT to offer. Which stinks in a way, because the girl is seriously talented. It’s not her fault that she fits into the mold of the majority – but it’s been made clear Ryan isn’t necessarily looking for just talent. He’s looking for talent outside the mold.

She does, however, rat out Michael. Again. Sigh.

Still, as the contestants wait tearfully on the couch for the call back list to be posted, I don’t know what’s going to happen. Based just on the vocal performances of the final three – Aylin and Shanna were on the ball. Blake was really good, but not as outstanding. But would they get rid of Blake?

It turns out: no.

Even though it was her first time in the bottom, even though she’d been at the top so many times, it’s Shanna whose name is on the board this week. She is devastated. These eliminations suck.

What did you think? Were you surprised? Who should it have been? Who is going to actually win this thing?

Lesbian Apparel and Accessories Gay All Day sweatshirt -- AE exclusive

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Back to top button