Whitney Mixter on Sara, Romi and baring all for “The Real L Word” Season 3

When The Real L Word debuted on Showtime, Whitney Mixter was instantly the most-talked about personality. The Shane-esque Lothario, who was juggling several girls at a time, probably thought monogamy sounded like a curable disease. When the network renewed the show for a second season, they said it was because they had found something in Whitney and her circle of friends; something they thought was worth exploring.


Photos from Showtime

Caution: Spoilers for the first episode of Season 3 ahead. Don’t read if you haven’t watched!

Now in its third season, Whitney is in a much different place, but one thing has stuck: Her relationship with Sara. As viewers saw on last night’s premiere, the couple have committed to one another, moved in together and now Whitney is thinking about proposing. It’s an altogether different side of both Whitney and Sara, as the latter had her own issues with being a one-relationship-woman in the past, too. Of course, this has come with some skepticism from those around them, namely Whitney’s best friend/ex-roommate Alyssa and will likely cause scoffing from those who have watched the back-and-forth between the couple over the last few years. But Whitney said the idea of marrying Sara has been on her mind for a while now.

“I had been thinking about it for a while now and we’ve definitely come a long way in our relationship, for sure. … It was kind of the right time and I was going back and forth when I wanted to do it and if I wanted to make it part of the show,” Whitney said. “I thought if I was going to do it, it’d be cool to have it be on something that was so much part of our relationship and part of my life, which is on The Real L Word.”

Someone who is used to cameras coming into the bedroom, Whitney said she’s happy to be sharing that room with Sara — and only Sara.

“Honestly, it’s basically like — it allows you to dive deeper into your relationship and into yourselves and allows you to start growing together,” Whitney said of their U-hauling. “It’s the next serious step. It’s definitely a growing process, a learning process and it’s fun, too.”

But when Alyssa hears of Whitney wanting to propose, she hassles Whitney a bit, though it’s possible her feelings could change later this season.

“I think you’ll be able to see what her position is on it later on in the show,” Whitney said. “In terms of her and I, we will always be incredibly close. She’ll always be my best friend, one of my best friends and I love her to death. It was time for me to, I think, spread my wings on my own and move on. Not from our friendship. We’ll always be friends. I love her dearly.”

Alyssa still lives, as seen on last night’s premiere, in the house with Rachel and now another one of Whitney’s ex-girlfriends, Jaq. Whitney laughs about it being her house of exes, like she laughs at most everything. She definitely doesn’t take herself too seriously, which is probably an ideal outlook for watching yourself get intimate on television. She says it’s hard for her to be under-the-radar, especially in Los Angeles among crowds of lesbians. “I definitely have a definitive look, let’s put it that way,” she said. “I figure it’s like, some people definitely say things to me regarding [my having sex on camera], and I just have to laugh. I’m not in any way embarrassed or ashamed of it. It was what it was and I just try to have as much fun with it as possible.”

Viewers are ultimately going to be interested in what happened between Whitney and Romi, as we last saw them having a secret rendezvous at the end of Season 2. Now they’re at odds with one another, and Whitney tells us it has nothing to do with the fact Romi is now dating men.

“I’ll tell you right now, just from my own perspective, I don’t care if somebody’s dating a guy, a girl, a transgender person — it doesn’t matter who you date. It has nothing to do with that, honestly,” she said. “It’s not like I thought she was a traitor to the community or anything. Sexuality is fluid, that’s the way I feel; that’s the way I’ve always felt. I think personalities have changed and not everybody sees eye to eye now, let’s put it that way. People grow and change and some people grow in positive ways and some people don’t. I think we’ve just gone our separate ways.”

On last night’s episode, it was clear that Whitney and Sara are no longer friendly with Romi but they still have to be around one another for promotional events surrounding the show. “I personally try to always stay professional about things. If you treat it as such, that’s what you’re doing — you’re there representing a project you’re working on,” Whitney said. “So I can only speak for myself and how I look at the situation regarding that. One thing I will say, you’ll see a little bit of possibly in this season how different people handle different situations and different positions people take.”

As for the rest of the cast, Whitney said they are all friends. “Sometimes you just make decisions in your life that put you in that position, you know? We’ve definitely taken our own paths. I will say this, though: On a positive note, all the other cast members did definitely develop close friendships and Romi might have gone her own way on this.”

She is interested, however, in seeing what goes on in her ex-friend’s life. “I’m curious to see because I’m removed from Romi’s crew,” Whitney said, “but I’m curious to see what goes on in her world exactly because I can’t imagine because —” she pauses and laughs — “I’m gonna stop. I’m finding it hard to bite my tongue.”

Whitney said she also maintains relationships with women from past seasons. When asked why Sadjah, Clare and Francine didn’t return, she explained, “I think that between Showtime and the show in general there were certain stories they wanted to tell. Some people had moved on with their lives — projects they were working on. I think Showtime wanted to capture -— and Ilene as well — new storylines that were really important in our community right now and in the world right now. You know, they went and found some really dynamic characters and they wanted to branch out to the East Coast which they couldn’t do with the previous cast. I do still talk to all the girls from last season and seasons past and we all still have a great relationship, most of them.”

Considering the show began taping again last year, a lot has happened in Whitney’s life that she’s tried to keep secret. But this is her real life — and spoilers are bound to be found out. “Friends obviously know what’s going on in our lives but there’s always speculation on where storylines are and what’s happened,” Whitney said. “I just keep quiet on the big things and don’t really confirm or deny anything. I want people to be excited about the show and see things unfold as they naturally unfolded in my life, you know? I just kind of do the smile and nod.”

Which means asking her about a wedding is off-limits as of now. Otherwise, she will continue to be an open book and letting it all out on premium TV.

“I’m hoping it’s like The Real L Word: The Golden Girls Edition, us all sittting around when we’re 80 having cheesecake, talking about lesbian issues,” Whitney joked. “That sounds good. Honestly it’s something I committed myself to when I first signed on and it’s something I hold very dear to myself and I take very personally. As long as it exists, I will be on it.”

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