It’s happened: We’re now down to single digits of contestants on The Glee Project. Nine hopefuls remain, and I have honestly no idea which one will drop that number down to eight tonight. All I know from the preview is that there will be crying. Phew. So let’s go.
Robert comes in to announce the theme — fearlessness — and the homework assignment song, “Now That We’ve Got Love” by Heavy D and the Boys. Nellie gives an amazing face after this announcement, a clear “I Have No Idea What This Song Is” face. Considering this song came out two years before she was born, this is understandable. But I repeat: this song came out two years before she was born. Holy crap, you are a baby! An adorable baby!
The kids commence to freaking out over how they are going to rap, because apparently none of them have rapped before, and everything is “so fast!” Kids, rap is important. I am glad you are doing this song.
As we get ready for the homework performance, Robert introduces the guest mentor as the most fearless person on Glee. Obviously, it could be none other than the indomitable Jane Lynch. Yes! She walks in with megaphone in hand, telling the contestants, “I’ll give you something to be afraid of!” She is clad in an amazing plaid blazer! Everything is perfect!
The contestants all seem really genuinely thrilled about Jane Lynch too, which makes me happy. Like, they are literally fanning themselves. Also, Shanna — that scrunchie? Really? I suppose we are supposed to be channeling the ’90s, so I guess I’ll go with it, but it’s a fine line.
Jane Lynch has better interactions with the kids in her first 30 seconds on screen than any guest mentor has so far this season. She reaches out her arms to Aylin when Aylin reaches out to her, she crosses her eyes and makes funny faces, she says “What’s uuuup?!” and does goofy cowabunga hand motions, she talks to them like they are real people and gives them real advice. She says, “Anything you feel fear about turns out to be the best moments in your life.” She makes them laugh. I love her. She is beautiful. Everything is perfect. I am so happy right now.
And now — the rap performance. I have to say, I am really, really impressed with all the guys. They rap well, and confidently. Nellie starts her few, fast lines with confidence — and then stumbles and forgets the words and is pretty much a total fail. But I can tell you tried, Nellie!
My suspicions about the scrunchie also turned out to be right. Shanna is hands down the most white rapper I have ever seen in my life. Both she and Ali are clearly out of their element here. But still, overall the group’s choreography is energetic and fun and it’s enjoyable.
Jane Lynch ends up picking Lily as the homework winner, which Aylin is pissed about. Lily is ecstatic. She then announces the big group number song, which is a mashup of Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” and Blondie’s “One Way or Another.”
What! This is amazing! This is the greatest and gayest female-centric mashup I have ever heard! This episode is the best!
There are a few other elements to this one, too. Elements that include slushie fights and bathing suits. Oh boy.
Lily makes the comment to the camera that she has no fear of wearing a bathing suit at all, because she’s gotten to a place of being comfortable with herself after dealing with so much crap about her body size over the years. On the one hand, I really hope the producers didn’t specifically ask Lily to address this. I can see the scheming in their minds: “Announce the location of the shoot at the pool. Immediately scan to larger bodied girl: How will she react? Is she going to feel insecure about her body? Will she look scared and vulnerable? Dun dun dun.” But, it was still great to hear Lily say those things. No one should be afraid to wear a bathing suit because all of our bodies are beautiful.
Instead of heading to choreography lessons per usual, the cast heads to wardrobe to be fitted with suits. When the wardrobe director asks Michael if he’s ever worn competitive swimwear before, he replies, “Only in my wildest dreams.” This makes one suspect that your wildest dreams are pretty gay, Michael.
We also learn that, in opposition to Lily, Nellie is not comfortable with her body. Those are her actual words: “I am not comfortable with my body.” This is devastating. I’ll say it again: no one should be afraid to wear a bathing suit because all of our bodies are beautiful.
In fact, it appears that a lot of things are stacking up for Nellie this week. Hanging out on the couch after the fittings, Charlie attempts to comfort her about the discomfort with the wardrobe, assuring her that his junk is all out there in his. Nellie giggles and then immediately starts to sniffle, much to the confusion of the boys who are surrounding her. She then reacts exactly the way I react when someone looks at me like I’m crazy when I start to cry: “What? Don’t look at me like that.” She clearly has fear that she can’t be fearless. Poor Nellster, the only thing to fear is fear itself.