“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (3.02): Is there a doctor in the family?

Jane is cooking in the kitchen while the men watch sports. That is the most wrong sentence I’ve ever typed in the history of wrong. But, alas, these are the things our Det. Jane Rizzoli must do now that she is on the outs with Dr. Maura Isles. It’s like the entire balance of the universe is off. Up is down, white is black, butch is femme – you get the picture.

Seeing as this is not the natural order of things, Jane has a little kitchen mishap and drops a hot pan filled with the burgers meant for her and her brothers, Frankie and Tommy. Or perhaps that’s Jane’s way of trying to right the natural order of the universe by butching up and saying, “Screw you, potholders, I am Det. Sexy McBadass and I fear no third-degree burns!” Either way, it doesn’t exactly work out because Jo Friday ends up with the burgers and the Rizzoli siblings end up with a knock at the door. But instead of being a miraculous pizza delivery, it’s Papa Rizzoli. Amazingly he’s even more greasy than any pizza could ever be.

Frost and Korsak are with Maura at the crime scene of the college co-ed who chose the creepiest place possible to do yoga. But the detectives are gossiping about Jane and Maura’s lover’s spat instead of the case. In fact, so is all of Boston as the news of the rugged homicide detective and stylish medical examiner’s falling out has made the media. Really, really Boston Crime Post, you ran a headline with the word “Frenemies?” I can guarantee you that is not in the Associated Press Stylebook.

Maura, who it should be noted is wearing a kicky red leather jacket I openly covet, is unleashing her Fun Facts barrage on Korsak instead of her usual Fun Facts sounding board Jane. Korsak tells Frost, “They should just apologize for whatever they said to each other in that catfight.” Yep, the C-word again. Frost, who apparently took a Women’s Studies 101 class in college, corrects him, “Catfight? Women hate that expression.” True fact.

Back at Casa Rizzoli, Papa and the boys are putting a dent in Jane’s couch and chip supply. Jane has had enough of being the little woman (another term us lady folk hate, by the way), and demands to know why her dearly disappearing dad has suddenly reappeared. He hands them all a wedding invitation. He plans to marry his new honey (again, another one we hate though mostly only when called it on first reference by a stranger) in the church. How does he plan to accomplish this as a divorced Catholic? An annulment, of course. Say hello to the three bastard Rizzoli kids, everyone.

Jane escapes to the peace and tranquility of the crime scene. Frost brings her up to speed, but for the technical stuff tells her to talk to, and then trails off. It’s so cute how everyone is on egg shells around them, like what actually happens when a co-worker couple breaks up but still has to work together. There’s so much office politics are play. Like who gets custody of the water cooler area and who gets the vending machine area?

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