In this morning’s Morning Brew, Trish Bendix posted the brand-new, white-hot, squeal-inducing Season 3 trailer for Pretty Little Liars. If you haven’t watched it yet, hop on over and do that right now, and then hop right back here. And if that’s not enough to get your heart pumping pure adrenaline to your brain, the official PLL Facebook page dropped some new promo photos yesterday. Of all the ways Pretty Little Liars plays with me, foreplay is one of my favorites – which means it’s going to be an unbearably exciting four weeks leading up to the season three premiere on June 5th. Here are the top ten promo revelations I’m most excited about.
1) The eyeballs are still the scariest thing about this show. As you know, I was tickled by the Dark Side during the season two finale. JennaBot and Mona’s delicious Slytherinism was almost too much for me to handle. So I am delighted to see them sneaky peeking in such a prominent way so early in the season. Team up, bitches!
2) Text messages read aloud in unison are still a thing that is happening. The PLL pilot was solid, but it wasn’t until the Liars read aloud A’s first text together that I knew this show was going to steal my heart. And they’re still doing it after all this time. Never change, my sinister songbirds.
3) Aria is still letting blind, rabid Gremlins dress her in the dark. And is that Hanna being the big spoon? Double excellence!
4) Emily’s dead girlfriends are still flirting with her from beyond the grave. Texting her, sending her jewelry, probably making out with her in one of the six hundred abandoned barns that populate the town of Rosewood, PA. I look forward to the appearance of the Ghost of Alison DiLaurentis Present and the Ghost Maya Yet to Come.
5) All the people still want to get their makeout on with Spencer Hastings. In a thirty second promo, you’ve got Toby getting shirtless in Spencer’s presence, Emily sharing a romantic fireside chat with Spencer, and Aria looking at her in that special “We’re always going to be Team Sparia, huh Spence?” kind of way.
6) More graves are gonna get dug/dug up. And, God willing, it’ll happen with some homemade porn being projected onto a tombstone in the background.
7) The Chamber of Secrets is still open. You make a belt out of some basilisk fangs, you’re gonna pay the price, Montgomery.
8) Ezbianism is still in full effect. Look at that homosexual, just comparing Aria to a summer’s day. He’ll be going public with it on his website page any second now.
9) Lucas is back to his muddy shoe shenanigans. Good Lucas was so boring Hanna rightfully tried to drown him. It looks like he’s back to his brooding and grave-smashing and, like, hanging out with the Black Swan. Now if he and Caleb will just makeout already, my joy will be complete.
10) Emily won’t be sad forever.
I was afraid her heart was going to break into actual pieces for all of time after her cry-face during the finale, but she’s going to survive and thrive and kiss even more girls on the mouth, I just know it. (Also, Marlene King said so. So.) Are you excited for season three of Pretty Little Liars? Which part are you most psyched about?
