TV Alert: “Glee” returns tonight with Sue and Brittana and a new Beiste, oh my

Slushie shields at the ready, Gleeks. The season two Glee premiere is here! The TV phenomenon returns with more singing, more dancing and a certified “100 percent gay” song selection tonight.

The new season kicks off with the New Directions kids back from summer vacation and still smarting from their third place regionals finish. It also introduces three new and characters: Coach Beiste (Dot Jones), Sunshine Corazon (Charice) and Sam (Chord Overstreet).

Having seen the premiere, I’m happy to report that for once most of the song selection isn’t culled from a Songs of the 80s soundtrack, as recent Top 40 hits dominate the episode. And thankfully, Spoiler Alert, Mr. Shue refrains from rapping.

But on to the really important stuff: Are Brittany and Santana still not “dating?” Do Quinn and Rachel make Faberry fans hearts flutter? Well, here’s what I can report (again, Spoiler Alert): Get ready for one girl fight, one girl sing-off and one girl saying she wants to touch another gal’s boobs.

Gosh, and I haven’t even gotten to Sue Sylvester yet. Let’s just say this, don’t watch tonight’s episode while eating a warm plate of chocolate chip cookies. You’ve been warned.

News of yet another big guest star also broke this week. Oscar winner Gwyneth Paltrow is in discussions to join the show as a possible romantic rival for Will Shuester’s affections. According to E! Online, she would sing and dance as a new substitute teacher. She joins the growing list of megawatt guest stars including Britney Spears and John Stamos.

Tonight join in on the conversation on Twitter with the official AfterEllen.com Glee hashtag #gaysharks. Our ace recapper Heather Hogan will pick the best tweets to use in her Brittana/Faberry/Lynch-heavy recap on Wednesday. Ready, set, Gleek out!

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