“True Blood” recap (6.5): God wants me to f–k you

The winner in this week’s Inexplicably Bad Decisions contest is Terry Bellefleur, taking the title from long-time champion, Sookie Stackhouse.  Terry, who has always struggled with PTSD, just wants to give up the fight.  Despite being a doting father and husband to the best lady in Bon Temps, Terry has hired an old Marines buddy to kill him. But, like, as a surprise, when he least expects it.  And I never thought I could be madder at Terry than I was when made us watch the smoke monster, but I guess I was wrong.


Terry really is just barely edging out Sookie for bad decisions though, because she has the idea to use Lafayette as a medium to contact her dead parents. Because that has only gone wrong every single other time anyone has tried it.  In the ensuing flashback, we see that Sookie’s father did indeed try to kill her in order to “protect” her from Warlow.  Of course, Dear Old Dad then possesses Lafayette, who throws her in his trunk and attempts to drown her.  I don’t buy this scene for so many reasons, mainly the fact that Sookie has superpowers that she has apparently just forgotten to use.

Back in the Shreveport sewers, Tara tells Eric that Pam has been captured. Without even needing to discuss it, the two of them turn themselves in to the LAVTF, where lots of vampires and prison tropes are trapped. So, if you’re keeping score at home, that means that Pam, Tara, Nora, Jessica, Eric, and Steve are all locked up.  Everyone is having a different experience.  Eric, for example, is forced to play lethal handball, I guess so the LAVTF know who to pick first in gym. Tara tries to look out for the increasingly “tired of being on drugs” Jessica, and is aided by a smoking hot inmate. I sense a future love interest.

tara jess

Pam meanwhile, is forced to undergo therapy. She initially balks, but, like so many lesbians before her, succumbs to the opportunity to share her Feelings. She also shares a whole lot of information about vampires that the LAVTF is very happy to get their hands on. But this scene is what makes me think that this may be Pam’s final full episode.  Writers LOVE to give their favorite characters epic swan songs right before they kill them off, and I invite you to read the following speech in its entirety and tell me it doesn’t sound like goodbye.

Pam: You humans love your pain, don’t you?  You just love being in it. You even consider it a virtue.  Cry the most at a funeral and you must be the best person. You promise to never forget each other.  You promise to feel the sting of loss forever. Because for y’all, “forever” is just the blink of an eye.  Your lives are pathetically brief. When we say forever, we have to mean it. So we move past our pain. We heal. We move on. Because pain is a worthless emotion.

The whole speech is a perfect mix of unblinking sincerity and Pam’s icy, unreadable exterior. Also, it’s just one of the gems Angela Robinson and Kristin Bauer van Straten have given us this season. She then goes on to say that her maker means nothing to her. The shrink doesn’t believe it and neither do I.

When Governor Burrell comes down to vamp camp, Sarah and Steve Newlin have prepared a gruesome spectacle for him. Eric and Pam are dumped in the battle room with stakes, and told to go at it, Gladiator style.  It is the cruelest, hardest thing, and the only person we see in next week’s preview, post-battle, is Eric.

What do y’all think? Am I all worried for nothing? Whatever happens, when I say I’m going to love Pam forever, I mean it.

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