“True Blood” mini-cap 3.9: “Everything is Broken”


Sam and Tara are having a heart-to-heart, but Tara’s still not ready to talk about what happened. She refuses to go to a shrink but Sam wants her to think about it. They’re interrupted by a call — Tommy is having a really fun, loud time across from Arlene’s place, and she is not happy about it. She needs nine hours of sleep "for the baby!"

Tommy and a blonde named Nicole, er, Natalie are naked when Sam arrives. Sam says they have to keep it down for the neighbors’ sake. "Are you telling me that as my landlord as my dad?" Tommy says. Sam leaves and Nicole-Natalie says, "That’s your dad?" She is obviously thinking he’s a DILF.

Crystal, who says she used to be a rodeo-champ, is tying up her ex to a tree in the woods while Jason fakes a Southern women’s accent to report a man with vampire blood that (s)he thinks might be a drug dealer. They get out of there as fast as they can, not too worried that the local cops can distinguish a phony voice. (They can’t, really.)

Lafayette and Jesus are hanging out post-non-televised-gay-sex. Jesus has a jaguar tattoo on his chest, which Lafayette decides to kiss.

Ruby is finally ready to go back to the home with Jesus. She’s put on some of Lafeyette’s make-up and she feels glammed out. She tells him he looks different; he doesn’t have "his mask on." "That’s cuz you’ve been in there hogging all my stuff." She likes him better without cosmetics and asks if "he did this to you" meaning Jesus. "I’ll be damned. Maybe God loves fags!"

She leaves saying "Come see me Lala!" and Jesus and Lala say they’ll see each other later. La la la la la, warm it up!

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