Meanwhile, Franklin is giving Russell his gift: The Stackhouse family tree he discovered at Bill’s house. The King takes this to mean that Bill has more attachment to Sookie than he shows, and it’s decided yet again that someone must "bring him the girl." Lucky for him, she’s already close by in Jackson.
Her name is Sookie! I mean, Sookeh.
Eric shares a bloody cocktail with Russell and tries to convince him that Bill is missing and responsible for the sale of V in Bon Temps. Little does he know that Bill is in the house. Bill laughs at Eric trying to pin that s–t on him and says everyone knows it’s Sophie Ann behind it all. The King is amused, as is Talbot. "He’s not missing and he’s way too square to sell V."
Now that Eric sees Bill is here "on his own accord," he asks about Sookie, who Bill says "is no longer his." Eric likely deciphers this as, "She is yours for the taking." Poor Sookie. Never again will she just be her own person.
While Talbot gives Eric a tour of the house, Eric sees a Viking crown that gives him a flashback to when he was a Viking and his family was killed by werewolves. Hmm, strange that it ended up here with the Vampire King of Mississippi. Also, we learn Eric has always been a ladykiller, even when he had that hideous long blonde hairdo.
Upstairs, Tara is tied up to the bed in a non-sexy way. Franklin sees that she has a text message from Lafayette:
Bitch, where u at?
Franklin is jealous that someone else called his bitch "Bitch" and chokes the information out of her. Tara manages to get out: "He’s my cousin. And he’s gay!"
This could have been solved easily if she would have had a photo come up on her caller ID. His eye makeup says it all.
Later, Tara chews through her rope to escape and gets pretty far across the lawn until Cooter chases her down and brings her back inside. Franklin is not pleased.
He begins crying over the fact that she doesn’t love him and she finally gets the hang of his moodiness. She starts pretending to be into him but tells him she is just scared of the other vampires there. And she’s hungry! She is a human and she has some needs, like eating, so get her a hamburger. She won’t need food soon, though, Franklin assures her — he is making her into his vampire bride.
Sookie and Alcide get home OK from Lou Pine’s, but not until she calls his ex-girlfriend "sh—y" and says she won’t die because of said sh—y ex "and a Mississippi pot hole!" Alcide stops the car and gets emotional about how she used to be awesome and play horseshoes with his dad. Sookie apologizes for being mean but says it’s the only way she could get him to slow down. She did not want to die in his truck dressed like a goth hooker.