“True Blood” mini-cap 3.3: “It Hurts Me, Too”


Sam wakes up in the middle of the night to find his brother has sneaked into his office and then flown off as a hawk. What was he looking for? Sam’s birth certificate? Another free drink?

Sookie and Alcide go to Lupine’s, the oldest were bar in Mississippi. She feels out of place in the leather-clad bar. She’s wearing white lace.

Alcide tells her she has to walk around on her own or no one will talk to her. He will be with "his guys."

"Hey boys! Oh my god, I am so stupid! I let my wallet in the car but I’m parched. Would any of you mind buying a girl a cosmo?"

Some burly guy calls her cream puff and stupid, so she tells them she’s been to places much tougher than Lupine’s — like the vampire bar Fangtasia. One she brings up how tough vamps are, one ugly ass were dude starts thinking about how he "kicked the s–t out of one a few nights ago." Ding ding ding!

She begins to read his mind about Bill and takes him in private. "So you know a vampire? Can you take me to him?" The guy wants to know if she is looking for a threesome and starts to attack her.

She screams and Alcide rushes in to get the guy off her back. The fight carries out into the bar’s main room where the patrons have to help break it up. The bouncer kicks the nasty were out and tells Alcide, "Come on, man. She’s not worth it." Thinking he’s referring to Sookie, Alcide says, "I barely even know her." "I mean Debbie," the bouncer says. He tells her Debbie is getting engaged — to Cooter!

Cooter ruins lives.

Franklin shows up at Tara’s. "Who told you my name?" she asked. He says he met an irritating baby vamp earlier that night who gave him all the information he needed to know. He tries to invite himself in but Tara refuses. So he glamours her, sounding a little like David Bowie in Labyrinth. He goes inside, probably to use the black light on Sookie’s bed.

Lorena and Bill are alone in his room. She calls Sookie a "ridiculous waitress." He starts getting riled up. She’s the one that took away his freedom, his home, his "humanity." He says he’ll never love her and she lays a kiss on him. And then she says "Make love to me," and while he shouts "Never, I will never," he starts, um, making love to her. He also turns her head all the way around so he doesn’t have to see her face." She enjoys this and he screams. Intense!

Seriously, a WTF moment. Sookie is now free to sleep with Alcide or Eric. That’s how it works in the land of television — cheating seems to be OK if it’s on both ends. And Bon Temps is a scandalous place anyway. I mean, Arelene is going to have Renee’s baby? Tara is a fang banger? It’s getting cray cray in Louisiana. Bill doesn’t know what he’s missing.

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