“True Blood” Episode 412 Finale Recap: “And When I Die”

 
 

And so we come to the end.
Appropriately enough, it all takes place on Halloween. This provides an
opportunity to see characters in goofy costumes – Sookie as a bunny, Sam
as a pilot, Arlene as a zombie,
complete with a charming “severed toe” necklace and matching big toe
earrings that are certain to be all the rage come this Halloween.

But it
also means, as Holly helpfully
expositions, that it’s a special Wiccan holiday, when the veil between the
world of the dead and the world of the living is briefly lifted. Which makes
sense, since this episode finds characters thought dead and buried making
surprise reappearances, while several of the living join the ranks of the
killed off.

As
we’ve come to expect from True Blood
finales, the season’s major storyline comes to a neat and too tidy conclusion
halfway through the episode, while a bunch of new balls are thrown into the air
for next season to try to juggle …

DING DONG THE (RHYMES WITH) WITCH IS DEAD.
FOR REALS THIS TIME.

Not realizing he’s spent the night sleeping
next to
– and doing lord knows what else – to Marnie in Lafayette‘s
body, Jesus does what any good
boyfriend would do and cooks breakfast. He’s all, “I know I’m not as good a chef
as you, but I worked really hard on this breakfast. Oh, and I finally sharpened
all our forks. Now they can practically pierce a T-bone, isn’t that great?”

But
Lafayette can’t eat a single bite of breakfast. What with being full up on dead
witch at the moment.

BTW, I
love it that Marnie didn’t go about her evil business right after taking over
Lafayette’s body, but instead spent the entire night lying around in bed first,
like being deceased is just exhausting and she needed the rest — and was maybe
hoping to squeeze in some bedtime groping with Jesus as a bonus.

Anyway,
Maryette is sitting at the breakfast
table eyeing Jesus warily, as Jesus tries to assure “Lafayette” that
if he wants to live magic-free from now on, it’s okay by him. He moves in for a
kiss and instantly realizes it’s not actually Lafayette, probably on account of
the lack of tongue. In all seriousness, I loved this moment, that he just knew that this wasn’t his lover, because
that’s really as it should be with a couple who are so seriously involved.

Jesus
pulls away from the kiss alarmed, and Maryette tsk tsks him. Then stabs his
hand with a fork. Youch!

Later on, Jesus is sitting tied to a chair and
tries, as so many have done before him, to reason with Marnie. She’s outraged
that he betrayed her, so he tries instead to speak to the Lafayette part that’s
still somewhere inside. For a brief moment, Lafayette does emerge for one
desperate, “Hooker, please,” but this only enrages Marnie even more.
She points a butcher’s knife at Lafayette’s body, threatening to blind him or,
worse, enact some serious nipple violence.

The
thought of that is too terrible for Jesus to bear and he says he’ll do anything
she wants. What Marnie wants is simple … all she wants is his gnarly
demon-kitty-head powers. Jesus is all, “Sure, take it! Take the freaking
demon-kitty-head.” So Marnie starts in on some chanting, until the demon-kitty-head
comes out to play. And then she stabs Jesus in the gut. D’oh!

And
Boooo! So another gay character who is one half of a beloved gay couple gets
killed off? Who wrote this episode anyway, Russell
T. Davies
? And who exactly is Kevin
Alejandro
‘s agent, because he might want to consider making a change. First
the guy’s killed off Ugly Betty, then
he’s killed off Southland, and if I’m
not mistaken, it was specifically so he could be freed up to do True Blood. Where he’s now been killed
off? Can’t this guy catch a break? Boooo!

Meanwhile, at Merlotte’s, there’s a little
Halloween party
going on. Sam,
who finally figured out that Tommy had
fired Sookie when he’d shifted into him, has gone and re-hired her back, but
he’s forced her to wear bunny ears as payback.

Arlene, dressed as a zombie,
helpfully explains to Sookie that “zombies are the new vampires,”
which is funny in an ironic and knowing way, and I’d think might hit this show
a little too close to home.

The
kiddies are having their own Halloween party, with Arlene’s daughter dressed up
as one of her idols, one of the knocked up teens from Teen Mom 2, and Emma, Luna‘s daughter, helpfully explaining
she’s either going to be a shifter or a werewolf like her dear dead dad. The
whole thing is adorable, like they’re paving the way for some spin-off all
about Bon Temps children, which would be awesome. They could call it True Blood Droplets.

Anyway,
Holly shows up and scares the
beejezus out of Sookie by dressing as a fairy. Heh. Then she gets high and launches
into her explanation of it being a Wiccan Holiday, which if I were Sookie I’d
suspect she was making up just to get an extra paid holiday off from work.

Then
Tara comes running up to announce that Jesus is dead. What’s more, she thinks
Marnie found a way to come back and inhabit Lafayette’s body. For someone who’s
been so consistently dumb, it’s rather astonishing that she managed to put all
this together, but we’ll just go with it since it moves the plot along so
nicely.

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